Is the "friendzone" real?

Can't sink into the friend zone If you don't have any friends. Checkmate.

Jokes aside. Obviously, yes,

No, it's an excuse of being a reject.

Yes, if someone likes someone as a friend knowing the other person fancies them, that person is in the friendzone

Yes

I heard there is a hole in the friendzone layer

Why is this still in question? What mental hoops do you jump through to say it doesn't?

Eh

It really doesn't. Either someone's attracted to you, or they aren't. But there are people that will take advantage of someone's attraction due to a desire for attention or the like. That much is true.

I'm going to assume you're serious.

• Have you ever been friends with someone where you didn't want something more? They're in the friendzone.
• Have you ever been friends with someone where you wanted something more and they didn't? You're in the friendzone.
• Have you ever been in a relationship where neither of you want something more? You're both in the friend zone.
• Have you have ever been in a relationship where both of you wanted more? Congratulations you're not in the friendzone.

Everything else. If you view it as good, bad is just perspective in relation to who you're in it with and what you want.

What type of question is this? Of course it exists... The term is just a definition of the observation of a real-life phenomenon.

If u have a female friend that u fap to then you are friendzoned

As long as some people want to have a romantic relationship with others who just see them as friends I suppose the friendzone exists.

Any girl you find attractive around you that doesn't like you back would logically have " friend zoned" you imo

I love looking back and seeing that I basically sai the same thing 4 years ago.

I actually friendzoned a girl once.

Ye, I will definitely be an example (maybe,I don't simp) but technically speaking a simp can be considered a friend zoned person.

Of course it's real. Anyone who says otherwise is in complete denial.

A woman knows within the first 3 seconds if she wants to sleep with you or not. If you pass the 1st test aka the "looks test" you enter the 2nd test aka the "bad boy personality test" for the next 5 minutes for her to confirm her beliefs. If you fail any of the tests you end up in the friendzone.

Once you end up in the friendzone, you're completely dead to her, no questions asked. There's nothing you can do to make her change her mind to gain any attraction now or in the future. Don't let the movies or pop culture fantasies fool you into a false sense of security.

If you end up in the friendzone, it's your duty to cut her off completely from your life, period. Move on and never look back. One day she might come running back to you but not for the reasons you would think.

Yes, i think it is. But feelings can eventually grow, that's where people can go wrong.

Just once?lol

@lunacyde: Take it easy, kid's 16.

Yeah, I call shenanigans. You sound like you're a person who just hasn't had experience in positive relationships with females.

Lol, I'm just thinking, middle school was full of friendzoning on both sides.

@lunacyde: You can call it shenanigans all you want. If you're eager to waste your time remaining in the friendzone then that's your choice. For me, it's simple. Move on and never look back.

@lunacyde: Hold up. Middle school? As in kids of 12-15?

Its not about me, I'm married. Most of what you wrote was nonsense though.

@theinsufferable: Yeah, why does that seem odd?

@lunacyde: Seems kinda young for that sorta stuff to be common. Then again, I was considering friend zone mostly from the "they don't let me bang them" angle.

Oh, no I was taking it from the "I want her to be my 'girlfriend' but she just wants to be friends" angle. I think that's really what the friend zone comes down to. One person wants a romantic relationship, the other just wants to be friends.

@lunacyde: Yeah, I see. It was just a misunderstanding on my part.

Always the pessimist, are you? I guess it's a good thing I don't plan on dating for a while.

When I was little, I got along with girls better than guys, so more of my friends were girls. I think most girls see me as a that guy they can be friendly with that won't try to ask them out or get in a relationship. I'm happy with that.

@darthsuper: There's nothing wrong with that. It's a good place to be. I had a lot of female friends growing up, not more than guys but still quite a few, and it worked for me.

Well thanks for the vote of confidence.

It is “real” insomuch as you cannot “make” someone like you and if the interested party were mature they would keep their eyes open for someone who reciprocated interest while simultaneously working towards improving themselves and their circumstances. Also there is something to be said for the traditional courting process in regards to cultivating mutual attraction and respect.

yes

@six-deuce: Good answer.

@lunacyde: I did a lot of things wrong in my twenties, said...wth and tried “courting” a respectable and attractive young lady with mutual goals. We got married on 07-07-07 and now we cheerlead our son and daughter in sports and eat waffles weekday mornings. I am a big advocate of finding a woman worthy of your love and respect.....winning her heart, and living a lifespan trying to be worthy of her love and respect.

This x1000.

@six-deuce: Similar story to mine. Except we only got married two years ago. One kid another on the way.

@lunacyde: Congratulations my friend....you have a lot of meaningful moments ahead of you. The end of which I hope you and the Mrs. get a little tipsy at your grandkids wedding.

@six-deuce: That's the end goal but just trying to take it a day at a time.

Cheers

From your POV, it's nonsense. It sure sounds like nonsense when most people have been brainwashed from birth to believe in Marxist theories entrenched within pop culture, social media, the education system, society etc.

@iknowwhoyouare:

1. What does the friend zone have to do with Marxism?

2. You still haven't offered any logical argument or evidence to support your claim.

Look, I'm sorry some girl(s) hurt you, but you have to know holding onto this delusional victim mentality isn't doing you any favors.

@lunacyde:

1. What does the friend zone have to do with Marxism?

Marxist/feminist ideologies have brainwashed boys into being nice guys and accept the friendzone in a positive light.

2. You still haven't offered any logical argument or evidence to support your claim.

And your argument is what? Stating you're married and claiming nonsense because you said so? First impressions matter whether you like it or not. That's why no one applies for a job at multiple different positions at the same company especially when they've failed the first job interview. It's common sense.

If you don't believe me, then go on a dating app, make some fake profiles and see for yourself.

Multiple sources can confirm the 3 second rule. Here's just one.

https://www.inc.com/melanie-curtin/science-says-you-do-this-surprising-thing-in-just-3-seconds-hint-it-has-to-do-with-attraction.html

Look, I'm sorry some girl(s) hurt you, but you have to know holding onto this delusional victim mentality isn't doing you any favors.

Never been hurt nor do I claim victim status. I'm just someone who's smart enough to observe others first. A wise man learns from his mistakes. An even wiser man learns from the mistakes of others. Till this day, I have not been scammed, taken advantage of or had false claims pinned against me.

@iknowwhoyouare: Okay then.

1. You presume physical attractiveness is the only form of attractiveness. Sure I can tell you if I find someone physically attractive in 3 seconds, but I've been on dates with beautiful women who just werent attractive because of other factors, and other girls who were physically average, but were much more attractive overall because of other factors. There are many other elements to being attractive. Personality, humor, confidence, chemistry, attitude, how they treat other people. You can't distill a decision-making process down to only physical attraction, whether it's a man or a woman. I've known very traditionally unattractive men to get very attractive women. I've also known women to not be sure if they found a man attractive at first, but end up in serious relationships with them later. Human behavior can't be boiled down to these silly rules.

2. You don't need to be a "bad boy" to attract a woman, otherwise I know I sure would never have gotten any dates. No, you can't be a pushover, or worship the ground they walk on. Yes, you need to have some degree of self-confidence and ability to act like everything you do doesnt depend on them. That doesnt mean you have to be a jerk, or a bad boy, or anything along those lines.

3.The last part I do agree with, partly. You shouldn't just sit and wait for her to like you. The best move is probably to move on, or if you're cool just being friends then do that. It's good to have friends, you don't need to be romantic with someone. There's nothing wrong with just being friends. The claim that you cannot under any circumstances ever leave the friend zone is bogus though. I've ended up sleeping with girls who just wanted to be friends at first, and I've slept with girls who I just wanted to be friends with at first, but grew to become attracted to.

@lunacyde:

1. You presume physical attractiveness is the only form of attractiveness.

Nope. It's just the most important by far. Failure to meet a bare minimum standard on looks stops you from going any further unless you want false claims pinned against you.

Sure I can tell you if I find someone physically attractive in 3 seconds, but I've been on dates with beautiful women who just werent attractive because of other factors, and other girls who were physically average, but were much more attractive overall because of other factors.

For starters, you're looking at this from the perspective of a man. A woman's brain is wired differently to a man. Other factors are what makes her feel happy not what makes her feel horny.

There are many other elements to being attractive. Personality, humor, confidence, chemistry, attitude, how they treat other people.

Sure there are but when you can't pass the minimum standard of the "looks test" there's nothing that can be done. Personality, humor etc are all happy feelings not horny feelings in a woman's mind.

You can't distill a decision-making process down to only physical attraction, whether it's a man or a woman.

I don't base my decision-making on looks. I just notice that other people do it. Like it or not, humans are visual creatures, our eyesight has evolved to be our strongest sense by far, more than our hearing, smell, taste or touch. Naturally what appeals to us visually is what's going to attract us the most.

I've known very traditionally unattractive men to get very attractive women.

Were those men unattractive when they first met the attractive women or did those men become unattractive later on? Even then how long do think those relationships actually lasted?

I've also known women to not be sure if they found a man attractive at first, but end up in serious relationships with them later.

There could be a variety of reasons why they ended up together. Lacks of options could be one.

Human behavior can't be boiled down to these silly rules.

Contrary to your beliefs, they sadly can. I didn't want to believe it either but human behavior is rather simple to break down. Studies have been conducted on the halo effect in regards to job hiring, public decency, criminal court prosecutions, dating, bullying etc. that proves looks are a lot more important in society than we realize.

2. You don't need to be a "bad boy" to attract a woman, otherwise I know I sure would never have gotten any dates.

If only that were true but then again money can solve all the problems too right? The whole "asshole phase" that chicks go through is just a myth right?

There's nothing wrong with just being friends.

Why are you friends with them in the first place? Could it be because you have some level of attraction towards them?

The claim that you cannot under any circumstances ever leave the friend zone is bogus though.

You can leave the friendzone. You just have to do it yourself. She's not gonna save you. Only you can save yourself.

I've ended up sleeping with girls who just wanted to be friends at first, and I've slept with girls who I just wanted to be friends with at first, but grew to become attracted to.

I wonder how their boyfriends must be feeling right now.

@iknowwhoyouare: If you're trying to say women won't sleep with/have a relationship with someone who repulses them, well, no duh.

However, attractiveness is very personalized. Just because person A is not attractive to person B, they might be attractive to person C. Moreover attractiveness is fluid, it's not set in stone. Someone's perceived attractiveness can increase or decrease over time, in fact it often does. Sure, you have to clear a certain level to be considered at all, but usually that bar isnt that high. There is a lot of room for interpretation, and once you clear a very bare minimum level your level of attractiveness will fluctuate according to a lot of factors.

I personally know an overweight guy who is by no means traditionally attractive who dated an old friend of mine who I believe is a very attractive girl for several years and now they have been married for a few. Yet, this doesn't really even matter to the point because they passed the "tests" you talked about despite not being attractive or "bad boys" long enough to actually date the girl and not be friend zoned.

I don't know why you have to chalk it up to a lack of options. Does it actually hurt you to admit a girl could be attracted to and happy with a man without him being overly attractive or a bad boy?

Sure, looks are important in society. That doesn't mean human behavior is easy to understand or predict. There will always be people who don't fit your theory, and in this case quite a few. If people were as easy to predict as you say you'd be able to make a fortune off that knowledge.

I don't know what to tell you, I'm not rich either, so that doesn't explain it. And some women may go through such a phase but that hardly means that all, or even a vast majority do. Every human being has different genetics, experiences, and personalities. Some people have depression, some don't. Some people have ADHD, some don't. Making claims that all women only respond to "bad boy" behavior is inaccurate, unsupported by evidence, and simply contradicted by observable facts.

I'm not sure what you're trying to say here. Being friends with someone doesn't mean you're necessarily attracted to them, but if it did that would destroy your whole argument.

Why would their boyfriends right now care? I'm talking about things that happened years ago, when both of us were single. Why would that matter at all?

@lunacyde:

However, attractiveness is very personalized. Just because person A is not attractive to person B, they might be attractive to person C. Moreover attractiveness is fluid, it's not set in stone. Someone's perceived attractiveness can increase or decrease over time, in fact it often does.

Qualities that are found to be attractive don't change even if the person themselves have changed i.e. a rich man's wife isn't going to find him attractive if he suddenly went broke.

Sure, you have to clear a certain level to be considered at all, but usually that bar isnt that high.

You've never heard of the 80/20 rule have you?

There is a lot of room for interpretation, and once you clear a very bare minimum level your level of attractiveness will fluctuate according to a lot of factors.

And most people can't pass this first test. It's simple really. If you fail the first job interview, the company isn't giving you a second interview.

I personally know an overweight guy who is by no means traditionally attractive who dated an old friend of mine who I believe is a very attractive girl for several years and now they have been married for a few. Yet, this doesn't really even matter to the point because they passed the "tests" you talked about despite not being attractive or "bad boys" long enough to actually date the girl and not be friend zoned.

I don't know why you have to chalk it up to a lack of options. Does it actually hurt you to admit a girl could be attracted to and happy with a man without him being overly attractive or a bad boy?

General rule of life. You never truly know what someone is like until you've witnessed them privately at their worst behind closed doors.

Sure, looks are important in society. That doesn't mean human behavior is easy to understand or predict.

No but it's easy to explain from a logical and evolutionary perspective.

There will always be people who don't fit your theory, and in this case quite a few. If people were as easy to predict as you say you'd be able to make a fortune off that knowledge.

The exception doesn't disprove the rule. It rules the prove.

I don't know what to tell you, I'm not rich either, so that doesn't explain it. And some women may go through such a phase but that hardly means that all, or even a vast majority do. Every human being has different genetics, experiences, and personalities. Some people have depression, some don't. Some people have ADHD, some don't.

Yes everyone is different but the base biological brain wiring is still the same in everyone. We all eat, drink, sleep, pee etc. Think of it this way. Women are just like cars. Yes each car is different inside and outside visually but they all do the same thing i.e. drive.

Making claims that all women only respond to "bad boy" behavior is inaccurate, unsupported by evidence, and simply contradicted by observable facts.

They sure as hell ain't responding to "nice guy" behavior. Studies have been conducted to prove my point, heck I could stroll through thousands of YouTube videos showing that women are drawn to bad boys. Sure some will be politically correct and not tell the whole truth but the point remains.

https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/relationships/a32314885/dating-bad-boys/

https://brightside.me/inspiration-relationships/science-explains-why-women-choose-bad-boys-797610/

I'm not sure what you're trying to say here. Being friends with someone doesn't mean you're necessarily attracted to them, but if it did that would destroy your whole argument.

It wouldn't destroy my argument. There are different types of friends. Friendzone friends are seen as nothing more than beta male orbiters, basically a shoulder to cry on.

Yes it is, if people think they aren't they're complete dumb A's who can't even get a GF.

I'm not afraid to say it, come at me.