Do You Feel Jealousy When Someone Is Doing Better Than You?

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s1ckb0y

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I personally do a lot. I was at a school assembly a few days ago and they bring up this girl who got into Dartmouth in our class. People cheered, but I stayed silent. I was so upset at this. Afterwards, I realized something....whenever I see someone my age (I'm almost 18) doing better than me it makes me real angry.

When I see kid, for example, making a ton of money from Twitch or is better at basketball than me, I get angry. I don't like that person.

Do any of you ever feel this?

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Dr_Shenanigans

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There ain't a man on earth that's better than me at what I do.

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Dr_Shenanigans

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@s1ckb0y: Have you tried tying razors to a kite string & having kite fights where you try to cut an opponents string? Maybe your the world greatest kite fighter!

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Referee

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#4 Referee  Online

Yes, It's only natural to feel that way.

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Bag_ass

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The way i see it people are better at being who they are while you can be better at being yourself, so no need in comparison with others as long as you can do your best in doing things that you are passionate at.

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removekebab

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When someone is more skilled. There'll be no satisfaction until I'm as good as Michelangelo.

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IndomitableRegal

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Nope. I'm genuinely happy for people and what they've accomplished/acquired. I seldom feel jealousy.

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mrmonster

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Not really.

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Dr_Shenanigans

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Nope. I'm genuinely happy for people and what they've accomplished/acquired. I seldom feel jealousy.

I think I like you.

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deactivated-64969837cbeff

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Sometimes, especially when I feel like I can do it too but to due to circumstances, I didn't.

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Dr_Shenanigans

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#11  Edited By Dr_Shenanigans

@redhood_jaytodd said:

Sometimes, especially when I feel like I can do it too but to due to circumstances, I didn't.

Like when 10 years ago you could throw a triple flying round house spinning kick thing over someones head but if you tried it in the present you'd just hurt yourself but you know you could if you weren't older & out of shape?

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IndomitableRegal

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SpareHeadOne

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Yes

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kyrees

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used to be now just nothing.

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socajunkie

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#15 socajunkie  Moderator

I don’t feel jealousy, it’s a silly emotion.

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jashro44

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I don't feel jealousy but sometimes I feel embarrassment. Like if this person is doing this than I should be doing better than I've done.

I'm trying to stop comparing myself to others and just focus on my life.

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deactivated-64969837cbeff

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@redhood_jaytodd said:

Sometimes, especially when I feel like I can do it too but to due to circumstances, I didn't.

Like when 10 years ago you could throw a triple flying round house spinning kick thing over someones head but if you tried it in the present you'd just hurt yourself but you know you could if you weren't older & out of shape?

Like that lol. But unfortunate situations like that only motivate me to work harder. I turn my jealousy into a good source of motivation to work harder at something rather than let it put down my self esteem.

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jonjizz

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yes it's normal most people have a competitive side

There ain't a man on earth that's better than me at what I do.

which is?

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deactivated-5cb3fdda884d4

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Maybe subconsciously, but nothing so overt. I'm mean I;m comfortable in being a relentless lump. Going off the examples, there's sure as shite people smarter then me and more athletic. Making money on twtich ? depends on what they do, if they are like some Pewdiepie like yahoo....or pewdiepie himself, that makes money doing what any yokal can do, then maybe, but mostly I'm mad that they are so lazy. Real comedy takes effort.

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deactivated-5da8e253e9df8

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JediXMan

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#21 JediXMan  Moderator

I have a competitive streak in me, not jealousy.

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InvadedTBD

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You can only do what you can and people are sometimes going to be and do better things than you.

That's just life, don't stress it. Do the best you can and don't worry about what other people are doing.

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anthp2000

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#23 anthp2000  Moderator

Depends.

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Alavanka

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#24  Edited By Alavanka

No. Getting humbled motivates me to do better, especially if it's something I love doing. Plus, we are all screwed if I was the best at everything.

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Kevd4wg

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I'd be angry at everyone all the time

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loyngulpany

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#26  Edited By loyngulpany

Sometimes, because as others said above. There's always a person that is better than you.

The reason for that is because all of us have peaks at our skills.

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Doofasa

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I usually feel happy or inspired by other people’s accomplishments. Being the best at something shouldn’t be your basis for your own self worth, plus It would be way too exhausting being angry at every person that is better than you at something.

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#28 SC  Moderator

When I was younger yes. It helped my ego too, because I was really good at a lot of tasks, subjects and all round competitive activities. I had a high pain tolerance for example, and so could push my physical training harder, and for dumb kid games it was pretty handy (there was this game where older kids would hit us with sticks, progressively harder until only one kid was willing to continue), and I also loved reading and studying and figured becoming rich would be easy, I just had to try hard...

However as I got older, I learned more about human nature, human psychology, economic, socioeconomic mobility, skill, intuition, motivation etc so on. I got less competitive, less arrogant, less jealous. Less concerned about money. Money by the way is still important, it empowers your ability to act how you might want to, in regards to others, I just stopped caring about wanting to have lots of it.

My main point, is that as humans we tend to make a lot of assumptions about where our starting line is, and where other peoples starting line is, but its rarely an accurate picture, its rarely even, and we all face a very specialized and unique set of obstacles. Some of them are very similar sure... we can bond over such, but context matters. Some people face obstacles at the beginning of a slope, and then half way up, others whilst running downhill, then they get a break and rest before the next... Its a cheesy sentiment but you gotta try and stop comparing yourself to others. Think about if you have a child? Or a partner? You probably care more about them being happy, healthy and content. Successful sure, but not so much that they suffer for it... now apply that attitude and care towards yourself as well. Treat yourself well. Unless you work better under pressure... but eh, a lot of people genuinely work better when there is an absent of pressure, and they realize the best incentive to push themselves is because they/you actually just want to. Not to measure up to some idea/ideal you hold or to impress others.

Of course its easy for me to say that, I earn thousands of dollars being an ASMR streamer on Twitch, where I whisper about how good I am at Basketball while I rub basketballs with various textures, and I have the sexiest beard in the Southern hemisphere and I am only 9!

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Supermanthor

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#29  Edited By Supermanthor

I was at the age of 12 to 14

But nowdays nah

I will be happy for them

And I can learn interesting things from them

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helloman

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#30  Edited By helloman

Maybe.

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Yes, Why would I be happy.

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BumpyBoo

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I deny it, and I try to fight it, but I am SUCH a jealous person. Like even as a little kid I would hate when other kids played with my parents (it got ugly, there was biting). It's such an ugly and embarrassing emotion. It's not other people's fault if you feel insecure in yourself after all. But I am ridiculously insecure, in every respect, and I do feel threatened when people are better than me in the areas I am insecure about. Suppose it's a contrast thing, and seeing how amazing they seem to be only serves to remind you of how shit you think you are?

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#33 SC  Moderator

@bumpyboo said:

I deny it, and I try to fight it, but I am SUCH a jealous person. Like even as a little kid I would hate when other kids played with my parents (it got ugly, there was biting). It's such an ugly and embarrassing emotion. It's not other people's fault if you feel insecure in yourself after all. But I am ridiculously insecure, in every respect, and I do feel threatened when people are better than me in the areas I am insecure about. Suppose it's a contrast thing, and seeing how amazing they seem to be only serves to remind you of how shit you think you are?

Its okay! I know those people you are referring to, they are not amazing at all, they were in fact cheating! I personally saw them at lunch time, they had the cheat sheets and copied answers in advance. Everything they did was cheating and not amazing at all, you are much better than them, you are much cooler and you do the thing really good, its just unfair that they cheated, but its okay! Now that you know, you can be less harsh on yourself!

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phillip33

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Yeah I can be jealous as a mofo, and it also pisses me off to no end.

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I'd say this comes with age, but even when I was young it never really bothered me much. I usually see people doing better than me as an incentive to try harder to match or do better than them. I used to be VERY competitive. These days I don't much care. Good for them (as long as they're not hurting anyone else).

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HeroUp2112

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@redhood_jaytodd said:

Sometimes, especially when I feel like I can do it too but to due to circumstances, I didn't.

Like when 10 years ago you could throw a triple flying round house spinning kick thing over someones head but if you tried it in the present you'd just hurt yourself but you know you could if you weren't older & out of shape?

Not this exactly, but there are quite a few things I was very good at that I can no longer do due to my physical limitations (my injuries and so forth). I feel envy toward the people that can still do these things but I'm not jealous of them. I just wish I still could, and it's almost a physical pain watching them; but alas, no one's day in the sun lasts forever.

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helloman

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Still no.

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BumpyBoo

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@sc said:
@bumpyboo said:

I deny it, and I try to fight it, but I am SUCH a jealous person. Like even as a little kid I would hate when other kids played with my parents (it got ugly, there was biting). It's such an ugly and embarrassing emotion. It's not other people's fault if you feel insecure in yourself after all. But I am ridiculously insecure, in every respect, and I do feel threatened when people are better than me in the areas I am insecure about. Suppose it's a contrast thing, and seeing how amazing they seem to be only serves to remind you of how shit you think you are?

Its okay! I know those people you are referring to, they are not amazing at all, they were in fact cheating! I personally saw them at lunch time, they had the cheat sheets and copied answers in advance. Everything they did was cheating and not amazing at all, you are much better than them, you are much cooler and you do the thing really good, its just unfair that they cheated, but its okay! Now that you know, you can be less harsh on yourself!

Ugh, such a sweet, smart and funny reply. So much nicer and more articulate than me.

I hate you.

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dshipp17

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#39  Edited By dshipp17

No; I either feel inspired to do better or indifferent or, sometimes, happy for that person. I might think about said person from a Christian angle. While I don't feel jealous or envious towards individuals, I have some related emotion towards groups (e.g. but it's not along racial or ethnic lines, but more social lines); God has blessed me such that envy isn't one of my weaknesses; this emotion can lead to something like a very unhealthy feeling of depression, which I also have the gift of being able to avoid, although things have happened to me or didn't happen to me throughout my life that would probably make most people depressed; whenever or if I get some type of void, my Lord Jesus Christ is always there to feel it for me; if I don't have any other, Jesus is my friend; and with that particular gift and because of it, nothing else is able to rise to that level or standard for me.