Corrupt-A-Wish

This game is a really fun one that I liked to play on forums. It's simple to learn and fun to play.

Lets say I say:
"I wish I had a Million Dollars!"
Your job is to "Grant" it, but add a twist to it, such as:
"Granted, But you accidentally drop that check into the shredder."
After you have granted the wish, make your own:
"I wish that I could fly"
Of course there are many ways to corrupt the wish, and that is the fun of this game!

Rules:

• If you post at the same time as someone else granting the same wish, the person who has the most recent post has to edit it to do the one before theirs.
• Be as creative as you can be, don't be a simpleton!

My wish (to get things going): I wish I could be better at public speaking.

Granted, but no ones wants to listen to you.

I wish I wasn't broke.

@mynameiswill:

Granted, but you are only held up with glue.

I wish my paycheck was more than what it is now.

I have been playing D&D and the like for 18 years, screwing people over with their wishes might as well be a hobby.

You do not want to be broke?

Wish granted, here is a penny.

My wish: I with that I had a better memory, I forget things all the time.

Granted, but you start to remember things that never happened to you.

I wish I could be better at WoW.

@warsman Granted, but they shut down WoW next week.

I wish I was Batman.

@mynameiswill:

Granted, but you get arrested for public indecency.

I wish I had a larger...

@warsman:

Granted, but you can never...

I wish i was better at survival skills for the upcoming apocalypse.

Granted, but you're the only one left alive.

I wish I had the power to stop time.

@warsman:

Granted, but once you stop time you can never restart it.

I wish felt better about my art.

@birdsatan: Bird satan? LOL wtf name is that.

Granted, but no one feels the same way you do.

I wish we could start a legit band together and live on the road.

Granted. But your friends all die of drug overdose within the first six months, turning your tour into a very sad solo tour.

I wish that I was immortal.

@makhai:

Granted but you are a vegetable

I wish there was better music

Granted, but there's only one song available.

I wish I had a really nice girlfriend.

Granted, but you go deaf instantly

I my old dog was still alive

Granted, but Pet Sematary.

Again, I wish I had a really nice girlfriend.

Granted, but your girlfriend dies in the next 10 seconds.

I wish I had 100 billion American dollars that could never be negatively affected every time someone types granted after this post.

Granted, but she is the over-nice clingy whiny kind of nice that drives you crazy.

I wish that I anime got banned from comic vine.

@misterwhisper:

Granted, but it's replaced with more bugs and glitches that make the site basically impossible to navigate.

@dbvse7:

Granted, but everyone around you - friends and family included - become obsessed with taking that fortune for themselves.

I wish I had a better job.

@dbvse7:

Granted the money falls over and kills you (isn't negative for the money just you)

I wish that my wish doesn't come true

@warsman: I still have 300 billion LOL.

@dbvse7:

Yeah but...

...

SH!T.

@serpinethegreen:

Granted, but you made a wish so HA!

Wow... you win with that corruption right there. It can't be beat.

Granted. But your new awesome job requires long hours and your new girlfriend ends up cheating on you.

EDIT: Forgot my wish.

I wish I didn't forget to make my wish.

@makhai:

Granted but they never come true

I wish that I get a million pounds, and something negative happens

@makhai:

Can't do anything about that since you already wished your wish to come true by wishing for a wish.

Granted: you weigh a million pounds.

My wish: I wish I was 20 years younger.

Granted. It is now 1995 but you are unable to change anything that has happened. You will endure a 20 year movie of your life.

I wish I will get accepted into medical school.

@makhai:

Granted but you're a cadaver

I wish that I didn't have to make a wise after granting one

@serpinethegreen:

Granted, but potatoes.

I wish i was a silicon-based lifeform.

@birdsatan:

Granted, but you're now $399.99 on Amazon. For...purposes.

I wish I had more motivation.

@birdsatan: Granted, but you live in parallel universe where Silicon means alien sperm.

I wish that this wish that I was the supreme of the universe came could never be made into a bad thing as long as people are making wishes.

@dbvse7: Granted, but the next wish determines your ultimate fate.

@warsman: Granted, but your passion equally drops.

I wish i was more like Nikola Tesla.

@birdsatan:

Granted you're dead

I wish I could talk to animals

Granted, but all they do is call you racial slurs.

I wish I was perfect in every conceivable way

@comicstooge:

Granted, but since there`s so many ways to be perfect, at least half of them counter acting eachother, there`ll be a heavy price to pay. You`ll become a god, and that shit is nerve wracking.

I wish I had an orange skin every time I sing the melody of Auld lang syne.

Granted, but it's only because of the alcohol poisoning.

I wish I really was a kangaroo. Beefy.

Granted, but you jump out in front of a car in the first 30 seconds.

I wish I could jump into fictional universes.

Granted, but are now 300 pounds overweight.

I wish I could never get sick.

@comicstooge:

Granted, but one of those is the One Night at Flumpty's universe and you have to survive on Hard-Boiled mode.

I wish I had unlimited lasagna.

Granted, but your closest people are always sick with terminal illnesses.

Granted, but it's all overcooked and gross and it's the only thing you can eat.

I wish I could time travel.

@comicstooge:

Granted but you get stuck in prehistoric times and alter the timeline for the worse.

I wish I had a castle to live in.

Granted, but you'll live there alone forever.

I wish I could change my appearance at will.

Granted, but you'll have to create a new life with each new appearance.

I wish I could clean house faster.

Granted,but you have to do it with your tongue

I wish i could say Hello to my Little Friend

Granted, but each time you say it, your penis shrinks by half an inch.

I wish I could eat anything and only get positive effects (as in, I eat a cookie and I basically just ate broccoli or whatever).

Granted, the overwhelming healthy effects of your food allow you to outlive everyone on the Earth, so that makes you the sole person left alive--you're all alone.

I wish that I was a giant alien creature floating in space.

Granted, but you need oxygen so you die painfully.

I wish I could get an A+ on all my exams without study.

Granted, but everyone accuses you of cheating and your father, so ashamed of having a cheater son, disowns you before promptly committing Seppuku,

I wish my post count was higher.

Granted, but your post count exceeded the limits of what Comic Vine could hold, and it actually reverts back to 0.

I wish that I was the wealthiest person in the world.