Am I a bad person if I feel uncomfortable around lgbtq people

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killerboi

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I'm religious

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JBlol

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if your religious its your religion

if you despise them, or loathe them, as in verbally abuse then I would say yes

but no if not

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Nerise

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No its your right

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deactivated-60ee206c1e31a

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Nope.

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AchievedHero

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Not really.

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deactivated-60c0f858b7326

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No. Not at all.

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king_majestros

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Nope.

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kgb725

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Why are you uncomfortable? Being religious isn't an excuse

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King Saturn

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How you Feel is how you Feel. It's what you do with how you Feel outwardly that will show what type of Person you are.

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SpareHeadOne

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God loves lgbqt

So should you

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infantfinite128

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#11  Edited By infantfinite128

No. You are not a bad person.

Our identity shouldn't be grounded in lust or pride in lust, and being that lust and pride are sins, it's natural for people embracing sin to make us feel uncomfortable, especially since we're called to strive for purity and chastity.

Being that I believe in Heaven, it makes me uncomfortable when I or anyone sins because I want to go to Heaven and I want everyone to go to Heaven.

And if people commit mortal sins, they will go to Hell unless they are absolved of their sins through the sacrament of Confession, and since I want everyone to go to Heaven, if I, or anyone commits mortal sin, I will be uncomfortable.

Only God is good. We must try to do our best to love Him, trust Him, and serve His will for us.

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Deagonx

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We aren't our feelings, we are our actions. You can't control how you feel, though it may be worth searching inward to resolve this issue as much as possible. As long as you don't act on those feelings or voice that prejudice, then you aren't morally culpable in any way.

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deactivated-612156a4d7eca

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Subjective, but I'd say no.

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superstay

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How you Feel is how you Feel. It's what you do with how you Feel outwardly that will show what type of Person you are.

The KING. HAS. SPOKEN!!! Read it, absorb it, understand it, and accept it...

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Leonhardt

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I mean it's kind of weird for you to feel uncomfortable. Maybe examine why and you can resolve it. Your religion shouldn't really make you uncomfortable around them.

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JaylinFreeman

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Not necessarily, but I do think you should look for the root of that and try to resolve it.

Wish you the best of luck, friend.

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CocaColaMan

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How you Feel is how you Feel. It's what you do with how you Feel outwardly that will show what type of Person you are.

@deagonx said:

We aren't our feelings, we are our actions. You can't control how you feel, though it may be worth searching inward to resolve this issue as much as possible. As long as you don't act on those feelings or voice that prejudice, then you aren't morally culpable in any way.

These. And it's certainly not bad anyway; it's understandable with all the prejudices around homosexuals that you'd be afraid of being targeted for being around them. Anyone who thinks that a feeling is inherently bad is simply wrong.

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AreneaCaulem

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#18 AreneaCaulem  Online

no, it just depends how you act around them. you're allowed to dislike people but treatment towards them would show your true character. it's better to save that hate for pedophiles or murderers tbh.

@nerise said:

No its your right

? being prejudice isn't a right. discrimination isn't protected by the first. you don't have to like them, but it's not a right that will be protected depending on how you act towards them.

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BigDreamer48

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@jaylinfreeman said:

Not necessarily, but I do think you should look for the root of that and try to resolve it.

Wish you the best of luck, friend.

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TheSpartanB345T

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#20  Edited By TheSpartanB345T

Not really, religion causes people to do a lot of immoral things without knowing they are immoral (imo)

It isn't your fault that you were raised to think homosexuality is bad, though obviously we'll disagree on whether or not your religion is right.

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mimisalome

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I mean it's kind of weird for you to feel uncomfortable. Maybe examine why and you can resolve it. Your religion shouldn't really make you uncomfortable around them.

Why would it be weird?

I know a lot of women who feel uncomfortable with men. Hell many of them are blatant about it.

I also know a lot of gay men who feels off when they are around with men and many of them seek female companionship/friendship

I know a lot of young people who feel threatened/intimidated/apprehensive when they are around older people specially if they belong to the opposite sex.

Nobody says they are weird for being so.

It is just normal to feel uncomfortable towards people that could potentially instigate awkward situation/relationships or unwanted romantic/sexual advances.

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Leonhardt

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@mimisalome:

Why would it be weird?

What OP describes sounds to me to resemble a highly prejudiced mindset based on his religion, which is weird. That does not explain or justify "discomfort" but perhaps it could explain some other emotion.

I know a lot of women who feel uncomfortable with men. Hell many of them are blatant about it.

Depending on their reasoning, that may be weird too.

I also know a lot of gay men who feels off when they are around with men and many of them seek female companionship/friendship

Since you're giving undefined hypotheticals, I'm not obliged to offer reasons for why this is the case; although, it could be due to the way straight men treat gay men, much like the way OP describes himself feeling towards LGBT individuals.

I know a lot of young people who feel threatened/intimidated/apprehensive when they are around older people specially if they belong to the opposite sex.

My comment expressed my belief that this is weird behavior; you do not counter this be giving me anecdotes of other people exhibiting other weird behavior, at least not if you're not going to offer the reasons these individuals you "know" gave for feeling that way so we can discuss it.

Nobody says they are weird for being so.

I'm saying it now because you have not explained or shared their explanation for those feelings.

It is just normal to feel uncomfortable towards people that could potentially instigate awkward situation/relationships or unwanted romantic/sexual advances.

I disagree. Sounds like a horrible way to go through life, afraid to socialize because someone "might" hit on you. Nothing about that seems irrational to you?

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mimisalome

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@mimisalome:

Why would it be weird?

What OP describes sounds to me to resemble a highly prejudiced mindset based on his religion, which is weird. That does not explain or justify "discomfort" but perhaps it could explain some other emotion.

I know a lot of women who feel uncomfortable with men. Hell many of them are blatant about it.

Depending on their reasoning, that may be weird too.

I also know a lot of gay men who feels off when they are around with men and many of them seek female companionship/friendship

Since you're giving undefined hypotheticals, I'm not obliged to offer reasons for why this is the case; although, it could be due to the way straight men treat gay men, much like the way OP describes himself feeling towards LGBT individuals.

I know a lot of young people who feel threatened/intimidated/apprehensive when they are around older people specially if they belong to the opposite sex.

My comment expressed my belief that this is weird behavior; you do not counter this be giving me anecdotes of other people exhibiting other weird behavior, at least not if you're not going to offer the reasons these individuals you "know" gave for feeling that way so we can discuss it.

Nobody says they are weird for being so.

I'm saying it now because you have not explained or shared their explanation for those feelings.

It is just normal to feel uncomfortable towards people that could potentially instigate awkward situation/relationships or unwanted romantic/sexual advances.

I disagree. Sounds like a horrible way to go through life, afraid to socialize because someone "might" hit on you. Nothing about that seems irrational to you?

Lol.

You are the one who readily conclude that what he feels is "weird".

People feel discomfort towards other people for many reasons: unfamiliarity, differences in behavior, potentiality for awkward relationship or unwanted advances.

That is the NORM.

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Leonhardt

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@mimisalome:

Lol.

You are the one who readily conclude that what he feels is "weird".

Yes, I did.

People feel discomfort towards other people for many reasons: unfamiliarity, differences in behavior, potentiality for awkward relationship or unwanted advances.

He's saying he feels this way due to his religion, and you sat here and gave examples of people feeling discomfort for unwanted/awkward sexual advances, which has less than nothing to do with what the OP said... Is it possible for you to maybe try to stay on topic?

That is the NORM.

Cool. Your opinion has been shared. Now I think you're weird, and you're free to feel the same way towards me. I do not care.

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mimisalome

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I disagree. Sounds like a horrible way to go through life, afraid to socialize because someone "might" hit on you. Nothing about that seems irrational to you?

Well it is expected to be "irrational"

considering that the feelings of discomfort, apprehension, fear, aversion, disgust, are instinctive

not a product of logical process.

Again it is pretty normal to feel discomfort.

There is nothing weird about having your instincts kicking in to tell that certain situation isn't to your benefit/advantage,

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Leonhardt

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@mimisalome:

Well it is expected to be "irrational"

considering that the feelings of discomfort, apprehension, fear, aversion, disgust, are instinctive

not a product of logical process.

Again it is pretty normal to feel discomfort.

There is nothing weird about having your instincts kicking in to tell that certain situation isn't to your benefit/advantage,

Ok, that's all very nice, but I feel this discussion is horribly off topic, but whatever.

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mimisalome

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@mimisalome:

Lol.

You are the one who readily conclude that what he feels is "weird".

Yes, I did.

I give anecdotal examples, to counter your unsubstatiated conclusion that what the OP feel is supposed to be "weird".

I just show multiple examples that the feeling of discomfort towards people you don't share similarites with are the norms not a weird or an outlier.

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Leonhardt

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#28  Edited By Leonhardt

@mimisalome:

I give anecdotal examples, to counter your unsubstatiated conclusion that what the OP feel is supposed to be "weird".

I just show multiple examples that the feeling of discomfort towards people you don't share similarites with are the norms not a weird or an outlier.

You gave really ridiculous examples based on sexual advances in a thread where OP is saying his religion is the reason he feels uncomfortable around LGBT folks; THAT IS WHAT I SAID WAS WEIRD LOL. I never said there was NEVER a justified reason for a person to feel uncomfortable around people. For example, if you said a woman was uncomfortable around men due to past trauma or rape or something, that would be understandable, but that was not the anecdote or example you presented... Like, that's why I'm confused on why this conversation is even still a thing... None of your examples captured the point of this thread or why I said what I said...

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mimisalome

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People feel discomfort towards other people for many reasons: unfamiliarity, differences in behavior, potentiality for awkward relationship or unwanted advances.

He's saying he feels this way due to his religion, and you sat here and gave examples of people feeling discomfort for unwanted/awkward sexual advances, which has less than nothing to do with what the OP said... Is it possible for you to maybe try to stay on topic?

That is the NORM.

Cool. Your opinion has been shared. Now I think you're weird, and you're free to feel the same way towards me. I do not care.

Again, whether it is religion, ethnicity, tradition, culture, profession, educational level, age, etc

It is pretty normal to feel off, uncomfortable, towards people that is unfamiliar to you.

That feeling is not exclusive invoked by religious/moral differences.

Im just disputing your opinion that what the OP feel is "weird" . It is not.

It is the NORM.

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Leonhardt

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@mimisalome:

Again, whether it is religion, ethnicity, tradition, culture, profession, educational level, age, etc

It is pretty normal to feel off, uncomfortable, towards people that is unfamiliar to you.

That feeling is not exclusive invoked by religious/moral differences.

I did not say it was; but there are justifiable reasons for discomfort and non justifiable reasons. Your examples simply did not touch on anything I felt was relevant in OP or what I said. You went on to defend irrational feelings of weirdness towards individuals and make awkward comparisons totally removed from the situation. Like, I can agree to disagree at this point, but nothing you're saying feels relevant to me. Perhaps you will reach someone else with your arguments.

Im just disputing your opinion that what the OP feel is "weird" . It is not.

It is the NORM.

I mean, if you repeat it enough times, it'll maybe become true.

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mimisalome

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@mimisalome:

I give anecdotal examples, to counter your unsubstatiated conclusion that what the OP feel is supposed to be "weird".

I just show multiple examples that the feeling of discomfort towards people you don't share similarites with are the norms not a weird or an outlier.

You gave really ridiculous examples based on sexual advances in a thread where OP is saying his religion is the reason he feels uncomfortable around LGBT folks; THAT IS WHAT I SAID WAS WEIRD LOL. I never said there was NEVER a justified reason for a person to feel uncomfortable around people. For example, if you said a woman was uncomfortable around men due to past trauma or rape or something, that would be understandable, but that was not the anecdote or example you presented... Like, that's why I'm confused on why this conversation is even still a thing... None of your examples captured the point of this thread or why I said what I said...

It would not be ridiculous if you understand the context of my argument..

I'm just calling out your unsubstantiated prejudice directed towards the OP, by claiming that what he feels is supposed to be "weird".

My "ridiculous" examples pointed out that in the grand scheme of human interaction the feeling of discomfort isn't weird at all. it is the norm,

Calling someone "weird" because of their "religion" while ignoring that such incidents are also manifested in other social interactions and relationship is pretty bias and prejudicial.

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mimisalome

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I mean, if you repeat it enough times, it'll maybe become true.

Wait are you saying that the feeling of instinctive discomfort towards people who you don't share familiarity is not factual?

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Leonhardt

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#33  Edited By Leonhardt

@mimisalome:

It would not be ridiculous if you understand the context of my argument..

If you were speaking generally instead of to me directly, your points would be valid; however, it has nothing to do with me. Why are we still talking?

I'm just calling out your unsubstantiated prejudice directed towards the OP, by claiming that what he feels is supposed to be "weird".

Yes, I believe irrational unfounded feelings of discomfort to a group are unjustified if it's not even based on anything substantive. You provided nothing to justify this; you merely say it's fine whether rational or not. That would be your opinion and I have mine. This is where people would normally agree to disagree, but here we are instead...

My "ridiculous" examples pointed out that in the grand scheme of human interaction the feeling of discomfort isn't weird at all. it is the norm,

You pointed out a VERY narrow context of equally silly reasons for people to be uncomfortable. I am not moved by those examples. You're better off selling that to someone else.

Calling someone "weird" because of their "religion" while ignoring that such incidents are also manifested in other social interactions and relationship is pretty bias and prejudicial.

Lol, you'll have to forgive me for being somewhat intolerant of the OP's intolerance. You should be defending my right to feel anyway I want since you're defending irrational beliefs. Again, why are we still talking?

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Leonhardt

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@leonhardt said:

I mean, if you repeat it enough times, it'll maybe become true.

Wait are you saying that the feeling of instinctive discomfort towards people who you don't share familiarity is not factual?

It's a poor attempt at humor, since I've simply become bored of the conversation tbqh. I feel we're on two different wavelengths here and further discussion is doing nothing.

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mimisalome

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#35  Edited By mimisalome

@leonhardt:

If you were speaking generally instead of to me directly, your points would be valid; however, it has nothing to do with me. Why are we still talking?

Again Im just refuting your unsubstantiated claim that what the OP is feeling is "weird" in the context of human interaction and relationship.

I just cited various popular and well known examples of expression of discomfort towards someone else to demonstrate that such reality is pervading and accepted to exist and not just a mere (unsubstantiated) opinion borne out of bias and prejudice.

Yes, I believe irrational unfounded feelings of weirdness to a group are unjustified if it's not even based on anything substantive. You provided nothing to justify this; you merely say it's fine whether rational or not. That would be your opinion and I have mine. This is where people would normally agree to disagree, but here we are instead...

Im not arguing about your (unsubstantiated) BELIEF that the OP is weird.

Im just arguing against the point that the feeling of discomfort is "weird", just because it involves religion and LGBTQ.

That is prejudicial and bias, and in your accusation towards the OP's predicament, completely unsubstantiated.

You pointed out a VERY narrow context of equally silly reasons for people to be uncomfortable. I am not moved by those examples. You're better off selling that to someone else.

Im sorry if you misunderstood my intentions and interpret mu anecdotes as "narrow" and "silly".

I resorted to using popular cases and incidents to emphasize my point and make it more relatable.

-------------------------

Lol, you'll have to forgive me for being somewhat intolerant of the OP's intolerance. You should be defending my right to feel anyway I want since you're defending irrational beliefs. Again, why are we still talking?

Why would you think that the feeling of "discomfort" automatically equates to "intolerance"?

As I pointed out "discomfort" is a feeling that is beyond your control.

"Intolerance" is something that you would actively need to carry out.

OP is questioning his feelings of discomfort whether it is good or bad.

Im just pointing out that it is not "weird" and argue that it is instinctive and natural.

As opposed to your accusation.

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FaradaySloth

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No, you're not a bad person. Being uncomfortable =/= being straight up homophobic. I don't get uncomfortable when two guys are holding hands but if they randomly start making out then yeah I would get more uncomfortable than what a heterosexual couple would be for me since I biologically don't find that attractive, something I can't control.

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Leonhardt

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@mimisalome:

Again Im just refuting your unsubstantiated claim that what the OP is feeling is "weird" in the context of human interaction and relationship.

I just cited various popular and well known examples of expression of discomfort towards someone else to demonstrate that such reality is pervading and accepted to exist and not just a mere (unsubstantiated) opinion borne out of bias and prejudice.

The OP literally offered nothing other than his religion as a basis for discomfort around the group -- it's not based on actual experience, reason, or anything of substance unless he says otherwise. this is the very definition of prejudice and bias, and you even acknowledged the irrationality of it, yet here you are acting as though it is not prejudice or biased? Like, what? Here are definitions:

Bias is a disproportionate weight in favor of or against an idea or thing, usually in a way that is closed-minded, prejudicial, or unfair.

Prejudice: an unfavorable opinion or feeling formed beforehand or without knowledge, thought, or reason.

Like, your entire post is just criticizing me for pointing out that this is weird. Would you feel better if I used a different word? If you want to defend people who are biased and prejudiced, that's up to you, but that's where we differ.

That is prejudicial and bias, and in your accusation towards the OP's predicament, completely unsubstantiated.

Ironic you call me prejudiced and biased for merely pointing it out in others, but ok.

Im sorry if you misunderstood my intentions and interpret mu anecdotes as "narrow" and "silly".

You come off as relatively polite, but I feel the problem here is we're on different wave lengths...

Why would think that the feeling of "discomfort" automatically equates to "intolerance"?

As I pointed out "discomfort" is a feeling that is beyond your control.

"Intolerance" is something that you would actively need to carry out.

Intolerance is just the unwillingness to accept others. It doesn't need to be "actively carried out", or it depends on what you mean by carry out.

OP is questioning his feelings of discomfort whether it is good or bad.

Yes, being prejudiced and biased against others for no reason is usually bad. That was my answer to the thread. That was why I called it "weird" and he should get to the root of what it really is. Religion is not a good reason for this attitude.

Im just pointing out that it is not "weird" and argue that it is instinctive and natural.

Yes, your posts demonstrate that you would defend continued bias and prejudice as "natural" and that it is not something to overcome. Again, this is where we differ. I'm not sure that talking will change either of our minds here.

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KillianDuclark

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Good Grief, how is this still an issue in the west?

Either you like it, hate it or ambivalent to it.

So long as you don't do anything illegal who cares how you feel about it.

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citgo

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nope, and it'd be natural

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Bink_69

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As long as you aren't outwardly portraying these feelings, then no, it's not wrong at all to feel that way. We're human after all, we can't really control all of our thoughts.

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Nerise

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@areneacaulem: Him being uncomfortable around homos is backed by his religion. Sounds like the first amendment to me.

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AreneaCaulem

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#42 AreneaCaulem  Online

@nerise: discrimination isn't back by it sadly. You can have freedom religion though, just no sucking them verbally or physically in the name of religion you know what I meant by it.

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deactivated-60f4d10418f1d

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Nobody can control how they feel.

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dernman

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#44  Edited By dernman

@killianduclark said:

Good Grief, how is this still an issue in the west?

Either you like it, hate it or ambivalent to it.

So long as you don't do anything illegal who cares how you feel about it.

I would take this in the west than what happens in many places not the west. Besides this is an expression of him questioning himself. If sincere is it really that bad.

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PenguinForever

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No, you're normal.

progressives are bad people for trying to manipulate your conscience.

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deactivated-60ee0713dd622

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How you feel does not make you a bad person. It's how you act that makes you good or bad.

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dshipp17

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#47  Edited By dshipp17

If by religious you mean Christianity, then no; it's a sign of your genuineness and eternal salvation that's the Holy Spirit; it wouldn't be just limited to this described sin, it would be all sins; what it might actually mean is that you actually have homosexual tendencies and a battle is taking place between the Holy Spirit within you and that particular sin. This also explains why a heterosexuals' viewing sensational images of beautiful women and having to masturbate a little makes them uncomfortable, moments after finishing; you feel like you need to confess and get back right with God.

Tendencies and urges are not sins, as they're covered by 1 Corinthians 7, as burning with passion instead of sinning. And, there would be no hateful feelings associated with these uncomfortable feelings. You just hope that they accept the call of Christ (by following John 3:14-18 and Romans 10), if they haven't already; if they're Christian, then, it's just those moments of weaknesses that is human to experience, as all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.

But, there would be an issue here, if by religious, you mean Christianity, but are acting ashamed to embrace your Christianity and Jesus in public settings such as this one; that's the actual issue, not the feeling uncomfortable around sins.

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KillianDuclark

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@dernman: that's nice and all but that doesn't answer the question.

Why should it matter how he/she feels about homosexuals?

So long as he doesn't try and do something violent or illegal against them, why should his own personal opinions or seen as something objectively?

Irrational. Probably. But innately wrong and worthy of being pointed out in the hopes of changing. No.

For example I hate snakes and by proxy think snake owners are weird AF. Since am not suddenly going out of my way to exterminate all snakes and their owners, why does my fear/hate of them matter

Same way I don't get why people dislike or like k-pop. I'm personally ambivalent towards it. But I know people who really hate it or really love it. So long as their hate or love is too themselves who cares.

Lastly I love manga. Doesn't mean am going to try and convert every non weeb I see.

All the above are examples of love, hate or ambivalence towards a subject.

But none warrant the need to feel guilty for your personal bias

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frosttttt

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It’s fine to find others not like you weird, because I as an LGBT person find cishets weird lol.

It’s not bigotry as long as you don’t think they’re bad/worth less.

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eslay03

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Uncomfortability is just an internal reaction, and as long as it doesn’t turn into an aggressive or rude external action, I don’t think there’s a problem with it. You say you‘re religious which leads me to believe that you view what LGBTQ+ people do as sin, and like InfantFinite said, sin is likely going to make a religious person uncomfortable.

Like I said though, you shouldn’t treat them poorly.