I think that you would rather look too much at the negative because you are too cynical to accept the fact that there is good in this world. I am proud to live in this world where I get to see my niece and nephew grow older and my family and friends create more memories that make my life more meaningful. Maybe you are focusing on the wrong things in life and should stop trying the "I'm cool because I'm depressed." thing. It's not all that cool.