A Good Joke...

Anyone got a good joke?

a pritst walks into a bar,but it's not a bar,it's my seventh birthday party and the pritst is my dad,and he molested me,my dad molested me at my seventh birthday party

cries

"a pritst walks into a bar,but it's not a bar,it's my seventh birthday party and the pritst is my dad,and he molested me,my dad molested me at my seventh birthday party

cries"

"a pritst walks into a bar,but it's not a bar,it's my seventh birthday party and the pritst is my dad,and he molested me,my dad molested me at my seventh birthday party

cries"

lol it's a joke i heard somewhere

A man walked into a bar.

OUCH!!!

Two men walked into a bar.

You would have thought the second one would have seen it coming.

sorry mantoid mine was better

lol

"A man walked into a bar.

OUCH!!!

Two men walked into a bar.

You would have thought the second one would have seen it coming.
"

oK OK!

How do you drown a blond?! :D

By placing a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool! :DDD

prays there are no blonds reading this, and if there is, she prays they dont get the joke

what's the differance between a misquito and a blonde........ the misquito knows when to stop sucking

A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up
her skirt and began fondling her.

She jumped up and slapped him silly.

He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."

"Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed.

"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

A blond walked into a store. She asked the salesman:

"How much is the television?"

He told her, "We don't sell to blonds."

She died her hair black and came back a few days later.

"How much is the television?"

He told her, "We don't sell to blonds."

She stomped off, and died her hair red, and came back a few days later.

"How much is the television?"

He told her, "We don't sell to blonds."

She shaved her head, and came back.

"How much is the television?"

He told her, "We don't sell to blonds."

She finally gave up. "How do you know that I'm a blond?

He said, "Easy, that is a microwave!"

"A blond walked into a store. She asked the salesman:

"How much is the television?"

He told her, "We don't sell to blonds."

She died her hair black and came back a few days later.

"How much is the television?"

He told her, "We don't sell to blonds."

She stomped off, and died her hair red, and came back a few days later.

"How much is the television?"

He told her, "We don't sell to blonds."

She shaved her head, and came back.

"How much is the television?"

He told her, "We don't sell to blonds."

She finally gave up. "How do you know that I'm a blond?

He said, "Easy, that is a microwave!"
"

"A blond walked into a store. She asked the salesman:

"How much is the television?"

He told her, "We don't sell to blonds."

She died her hair black and came back a few days later.

"How much is the television?"

He told her, "We don't sell to blonds."

She stomped off, and died her hair red, and came back a few days later.

"How much is the television?"

He told her, "We don't sell to blonds."

She shaved her head, and came back.

"How much is the television?"

He told her, "We don't sell to blonds."

She finally gave up. "How do you know that I'm a blond?

He said, "Easy, that is a microwave!"
"

yo mama's so fat when she goes to the theatre she sits next EVERYONE!

Alright, theres a blond, a red head and a burnett There all stuck on an island in the middle of the Pacific ocean. One day while wondering around they find a lamp. The blond rubs the lamp and a magical genie comes out and says.

"I am the genie of the lamp and I will grant each of you one wish."

The red head jumps up first and says. "I wish I had a boat to get off this island."

So the Genie makes a boat for her and the red head takes off.

Next the burnett gets up and says. "I wish I had a helicopter to get off this island."

So the genie makes a helicopter for her and the burnett takes off

Next the blond stands up, and with teary eyes she looks up at the genie and say's. "I wish my friends were back here with me."

So the genie gets the two girls and puts them back on the island with the blond

XDDDD

"A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up
her skirt and began fondling her.

She jumped up and slapped him silly.

He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."

"Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed.

"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her." "

lmao

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To tell the opossum if it was safe.

what do you call a smart blond?
a golden retriever

"yo mama's so fat when she goes to the theatre she sits next EVERYONE!"

"what do you call a smart blond?
a golden retriever
"

"Obi Wan Kenobi! said:

"yo mama's so fat when she goes to the theatre she sits next EVERYONE!"

DONT TALK ABOUT MY MAMA!

Yo mama's so fat that when she sits on a rainbow, skittles pop out

XP
"

LMMFAO

Three blondes were walking in the forest one day. They saw a set of tracks and started arguing over what kind of tracks they were. 
The first blonde said, "I think they’re deer tracks!" 
The second blonde said, "I think they’re dog tracks!"
The third blonde said, "Well, I think they’re cow tracks!" 
They were still arguing when the train hit them.

A blonde's driving a car, talking to her friend on the phone, and going 15 miles over the speed limit.

All of a sudden, a police car pulls up behind her.

The blonde said, "I think the police officer wants me to pull over for something."

Her friend said, "Well, if his lights are on, then he wants you to pull over."

The blonde then said, "Oh, OK."

"Well, does he want to pull you over?" her friend said.

Then the blonde quickly said, "yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no........."

Rofl.

there are going to be some mad blondes in the morning

ok i can't take credit for this one..i found it:

Two people get into a conversation. After a while:

 "Hey, how is your church?"

"I love it there. I am not judged by anyone, and I can be who I want to be."

The person smiled, "That's a bar!"

this one's for you TJ..

"this one's for you TJ..

A big Iris guy is drinking in a bar. A tiny gay guy sits beside him. After a few beers, the gay guy whispers, “Do you want a blow job?”

The  man flips out, roars in anger, and tosses the little guy out of the bar, then returns to his stool.

The shocked bartender says, “I’ve never seen you react like that. What did that guy say?”

“idk. Something about a job.”

"

"ok i can't take credit for this one..i found it:

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He’s going through his usual run of silly blonde jokes when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says, “OK jerk, I’ve heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What do a person’s physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being? It’s guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community, of reaching my full potential as a person…because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women at large…all in the name of humor.” Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, but the blonde pipes up, “You stay out of this mister, I’m talking to that little bastard on your knee!”

"

Question: what does the receptionist at a sperm clinic say to clients when they are leaving?

ok this is not mine..found it on the web,,it's hilarious

What does Yoda says when he has to go to the bathroom?
"Pee, I must..."

Your momma is so fat Jabba the Hutt said: "ewwwwwwww..."

How do you keep a blonde busy for ever?

Get a piece of blank paper and write on it: "Please Turn" on both sides :D

This one is from ComedyCentral.com.

A guy walked into a bar one day and said to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas."

The barman says, "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day."

"Yeah, I just found out my oldest son is gay."

The next day, the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I just found out that my youngest son is gay, too!"

On the third day, the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said, "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"

The man downed the first drink and shook his head, "Yeah, my wife!"

An old man was sitting at the bar, when a young man came in with a mowhawk haircut dyed different colors. He sat down next to the old man and noticed that the old man was staring at him. Finally the young man asks the man "What the hell are you staring at! Didn't you ever do anything crazy when you were a kid?" The old man pondered for a moment and replied "Yeah, I screwed a peacock and I was wondering if you were my son."

"yo mama's so fat when she goes to the theatre she sits next EVERYONE!"

everyone who had a blonde joke needs to shove it

"

everyone who had a blonde joke needs to shove it

"

SHOVE THEM WACK ASS JOKES far up their asses

"everyone who had a blonde joke needs to shove it"

"SHOVE THEM WACK ASS JOKES far up their asses"

just because they arent mean to be dont mean they cant

"

just because they arent mean to be dont mean they cant

"

what's that?