TAS Reviews: Black Adam
A few months ago, I had a dream about Black Adam. That the Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson led anti-hero flick (which I remember first hearing about a decade ago) came out, and it was absolutely terrible. Now having seen the movie, I'm starting to think that dream of mine wasn't a dream. It was a vision. A glimpse into the future. Because Black Adam is one of the worst superhero movies of the modern age - a generic, vapid and uninspired star vehicle that feels less like a movie and more like a product, completely devoid of passion and made with nothing more than a desire to stroke The Rock's ego and fill the pockets of the Warner Bros executives with cash. It is dreadful, and there's quite a few reasons why, and this review is late enough as it is, so without any further ado, let's get into it.
One of the most surprising things about Black Adam is just how long it takes for the titular anti-hero to arrive on the screen. In unconventional fashion, The Rock doesn't appear until about 15 minutes into the movie. Which in itself isn't a non-starter idea, if what we were watching was genuinely interesting. Unfortunately for us poor audience members, this section of the movie is so boring and meandering, that you as an audience member check out of the movie mentally at an absolute record speed, and you're left begging for The Rock to grace the screen with just an ounce of his charisma to relive you from this painful watching experience, in the same way one's mouth would wish for just a drop of water while stranded on an island. And once The Rock pops up on the screen - donning the iconic lightning bolt on his chest - it isn't much of the relief that one might've hoped for. All jabs about his ego aside, I'm generally a fan of The Rock as an actor, and his charisma alone has been enough to make an otherwise generic movie such as Hobbs & Shaw into quite an entertaining watch, and I'd hoped this would've been the case with Black Adam. Unfortunately, we get a Rock who has been drained of any single ounce of charisma and personally he usually brings to the big-screen. He feels like The Rock in face and body only, but not in soul. Quite honestly, seeing his performance in this movie reminded me of that episode of Black Mirror where people manage to replicate the bodies of their lost loved ones, but only end up with a physical version without any soul.
Then again, The Rock's performance compliments the script in its own, very unique way. Because his soulless line delivery is met with one of the most soulless scripts I've seen in a modern blockbuster. The people in this movie only speak in two different modes: either spouting forced and ham fisted exposition, or dropping cheesy one-liners written by an aspiring 11-year-old writer. The best comparison I can make is that the dialogue in this movie reminded me of the dialogue I jotted down into my fan-fiction comics when I was a toddler. Thankfully, I know you haven't read any of those, but you can probably guess just how badly written those were. The worst offender (or victim, depending on the way you look at it) of the stock-photo esque dialogue is a child character whose name I can't remember, and who is referred to as "the kid" in just about every reaction and review I've read or watched about this movie. Which feels appropriate, because the character does little more than say terrible, cringe-worthy dialogue that feels like an artificial intelligence trying to estimate how a fan-boy kid would talk, but in actuality is the product of a DC executive or producer saying "we need to put a fan-boy character in here to appeal to the kids!" I couldn't help but feel bad for the kid playing him because, far be it from me to judge a kid for not being able to pass on a role in a DC blockbuster, but it feels like it should've never been offered to him in the first place. In terms of character, there is an attempt at a character arc in this movie, but ultimately, it's all pointless by the end of the movie, and any subtle change the character undergoes is born from generic pep-talks that aren't at all supported by actions. It's all tell, no show.
For all my gripes about DC's cinematic universe, it is inarguable that they have operated at a league above their peers visually. While Marvel movies, for all their strengths, are generally characterised with bland colour palettes and a lack of dimension, DC movies offer interesting colour palettes and are full of shadows. This cannot be said about Black Adam, which is at best, visually inconsistent, and at worst, an assault on the eyes. There are two timeline's in the movie - a past and a present one - and the movie attempts to differentiate between the two with the use of difficult colour palettes and filters. And while the present day colour palette isn't absolutely dreadful, the visuals for the flashbacks are unbelievably worst than anything the mind could even conjure. To say it looks like a student film would feel too kind. Yet visuals aren't the only technical area in which the movie falls short, because the editing of the movie is equally as egregious, with certain scenes shot and edited like a quirky scene from a Guardians of The Galaxy movie, which feels at odd's with the tone of the rest of the movie, which for the most part feels like Zack Snyder's 300. Rest assured, the movie also has a bunch of forced throwback 70s/80s needle-drops which feel like they are only inserted into the movie to replicate the way Gunn masterfully uses throwback songs in projects such as Guardians of The Galaxy and Peacemaker. This isn't the only derivative aspect of the movie, because there are a bunch of unfunny and bland jokes which feel like a blatant attempt to cash in on the over-abundance of jokes and quirks in the Marvel crop of superhero movies. Even Black Adam himself starts cracking jokes at a certain point, and it all feels very forced, worsened by Dwayne's lifeless delivery.
Though the strengths of this movie are far and few in between, there are some admittedly stunning action sequences that look unlike anything I've seen in an action movie, and as far as action goes, this movie is one of the best superhero movies in terms of focusing on how super-powered individuals interact with their environment around them in the midst of action. With Black Adam supposedly being an anti-hero, it is satisfying to see how far the filmmakers were able to push the PG-13 rating and give us some genuinely brutal kills. While resistance generally strengthens action, I genuinely believe the best moments of this movie are when Black Adam is effortlessly tearing through enemies who pose no threat to him. As a matter of fact, it's one of the few, rare instances of this movie being genuinely entertaining. It is also a load of fun to see Black Adam fight against the superhero team the Justice Society of America, whose powers are as visually stunning as anything can possibly be when set against this ugly colour palette. But this brings me to my ultimate final point about this movie.
In many ways, Black Adam presents itself as the anti-thesis of the superhero genre. The subversive, cool-kid on the block who listens to The Beatles while complaining that everyone at their school listens to Drake. The marketing - both in terms of trailers and interviews - has drummed us over the head with this idea that Black Adam is not a hero. He is an anti hero. And more so, the main conflict of the movie is built around this idea - that the Justice Society of America are a group of righteous heroes who want to put a stop to the mad man Black Adam, who just can't stop killing people. The problem lies within the fact this movie is nowhere near as subversive or anarchist as it thinks it is. After all, Iron Man kills. Captain America kills. Hell, even within DC's own universe - we've seen Batman kill.
We've even had a Superman who kills. The idea of a superhero who kills is far from a subversive idea, so when the soundtrack in the movie grinds to a halt as Black Adam drops a line about how he (unlike the other lame heroes), is willing to kill, just ends up falling flat. Particularly when the people he's killing are the scum of the Earth. Though marketed as the rockstar superhero movie, Black Adam is the most predictable superhero movie I've watched in a while, whether we're talking about predicting certain scenes and story turns, or even predicting certain lines before the character says. The most surprising moment of the movie likely would've been the after-credits scene, if only The Rock didn't advertise and spoil the after-credits scene in just about every talk show in America. So by the time the after-credit's scene finishes, I'm not surprised at the thing I'm meant to be in awe about. I'm just shocked at how forced and contrived the whole thing, which could've been an exciting moment on paper, ended up being.
Conclusion
I've heard Black Adam often described as being the most "generic" superhero movie made. Though I found the movie painful, I have to disagree with this description. Because Black Adam is quite unique. No superhero movie I've seen in a while has been quite this lifeless. No superhero movie I've seen in a while was as difficult to look at with my bare eyes. No superhero movie I've watched in a while has dialogue that feels like it was stitched together by the director's 8 year old kid. No superhero movie is as predictable and far and few in between in surprises as this one. Black Adam is quite unique, indeed. For all the wrong reasons. I mentioned earlier that I had a dream about Black Adam being terrible, and that the more I thought about it, I felt like that dream might've as well been a vision. I retract that statement. Because this movie is honestly more terrible than my widest dreams or predictions could've imagined. And for that, I have to salute it.
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