Super Hero Jokes

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ZombieMowlcher

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Why couldn't Wally West get an iPhone?

Apple doesn't support flash.

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Borgakh

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For some reason I always liked this corny joke:

Q: What does Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile?
A: Get in the Batmobile Robin.

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Catsnlynne

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Wally can't get an iPhone because there is no Wally.

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fodigg

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Wally can't get an iPhone because there is no Wally.

Now I'm sad.

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Battle_Forum_Junkie

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Wally can't get an iPhone because there is no Wally.

Ouch....

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Night Thrasher

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Wally can't get an iPhone because there is no Wally.

Too soon man; too soon! :'(

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ZombieMowlcher

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cameron83

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@catsnlynne said:

Wally can't get an iPhone because there is no Wally.

Ouch....

@catsnlynne said:

Wally can't get an iPhone because there is no Wally.

Too soon man; too soon! :'(

@catsnlynne: way to stir up the feels.

agreed.

:(

In fact,even if he DID exist in the new 52,they'd probably just destroy all of his history and change his character all-together.

but ANYWAY,I have no jokes

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TheTrueBarryAllen

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#9  Edited By TheTrueBarryAllen

Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium.... BATMAN!

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Perethorn

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How does Superman emerges from water?

Rusty, cause he is made of steel

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4donkeyjohnson

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@borgakh said:

For some reason I always liked this corny joke:

Q: What does Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile?

A: Get in the Batmobile Robin.

Ha ha ha droll! :)

I only know one about the Invisible Man, SUperman & Wonder Woman and cannot tell it as it violates several CV rules, codes of conduct and there are children present

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JeanRalphio

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The Green Lantern Movie.

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PrinceAragorn1

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#13  Edited By PrinceAragorn1
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RBT

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Two of my favourites-

1. Superman wrote on the Batman's wall: Batman is a wuss.

The next day, Batman writes on Superman's wall: Superman is Clark Kent.

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RBT

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And now the longer one-

Three drunks are standing on top of the Empire State Building. The first one says to the other two, "You know, it's a funny thing about these wind currents. A person could jump off of this building right now and not even hit the ground; the wind would carry him right back up to the top of the building!"

The second drunk says, "You're crazy!"

The first drunk says, "I'm serious! Watch!" The first drunk jumps off of the building, and the wind carries him right back up to the top!

The second drunk says, "Let me try!" So the second drunk leaps off of the building and promptly falls to the street below, landing with a hideous SPLAT! The first drunk smiles, clearly amused. The third drunk looks at him and says, "You know, Superman, you can be a real Jerk When you're drunk!"

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RustyRoy

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Wally can't get an iPhone because there is no Wally.

Come on man, that was low.

How does Superman emerges from water?

Rusty, cause he is made of steel

I'm Superman :D

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RustyRoy

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#17  Edited By RustyRoy

Q : What's Nightwing's twin sister's name?

A : Dickless Grayson

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deactivated-5a162dd41dd64

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@fodigg said:

@catsnlynne said:

Wally can't get an iPhone because there is no Wally.

Now I'm sad.

Awwww.

Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium.... BATMAN!

Lol.

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Deathstroke02

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#19  Edited By Deathstroke02

Q: What's the difference between Batman and a thief?

A: Batman can go into a store without robin...

Get it? Robin? Get it?

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Deathstroke02

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Q: Whats the difference between Batman and God?

A: Nothing,they're both fictional characters...

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Dabee

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What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?

One is superhero Tony Stark, and the other is just a simple command.

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Marionettegeist

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Q: Whats the difference between Batman and God?

A: Nothing,they're both fictional characters...

Q: What's the difference between Batman and a thief?

A: Batman can go into a store without robin...

Get it? Robin? Get it?

Ha.

@borgakh said:

For some reason I always liked this corny joke:

Q: What does Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile?

A: Get in the Batmobile Robin.

Ha ha ha droll! :)

I only know one about the Invisible Man, SUperman & Wonder Woman and cannot tell it as it violates several CV rules, codes of conduct and there are children present

I love that one.

Batman and Robin are camping in the desert, set up their tent and are asleep. Some hours later, Batman wakes his faithful friend. "Robin, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Robin replies, " I see millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" asks Batman. Robin ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Chronologically, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. And it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Batman?" "Robin, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent."

How was aqua-mans son delivered?

Via sea-section.

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chem86

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Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium.... BATMAN!

LMAO!

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Cap10nate

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#24  Edited By Cap10nate
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Fallschirmjager

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Q: What position does Bruce Wayne play in baseball?

A: He's the bat-boy.

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Q: Why couldn't Batman go fishing?

A: Robin ate all the worms

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Q: Why does Mera wear a seashell brassiere?

A: She's too big for B-shells and too small for D-shells

------

Q: How was Aquaman's son born?

A: Via a sea-section

------

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Deathstroke02

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#26  Edited By Deathstroke02

Q: Whats the most important part of the Batcave?

A: The Bathroom

Get it? Bathroom? GET IT?!

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Q: How many Batmans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: It doesn't matter, he'll just punch you until you do it BECAUSE HE'S THE GODDAMN BATMAN!

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Batman once flew, then he fell because he remembered he can't fly

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1. Knock Knock

2. Who's there?

1. Batman

2. Batman Who?

1. Are you retarded or something?

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Q: Why did Bruce's date go badly?

A: Because he has bat breath

Get it? Bat? GET IT?

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There is a big room with four corners. In the first corner, you find Superman. In the second corner you find Batman. In the third corner you find Spider-Man. And in the fourth corner you find a gorgeous woman with a ultra-thin magazine-model figure. In the center of the room there is a pot of gold.

Q: Who gets to the pot of gold first?

A: None. Because none of these characters exist.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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PunyParker

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Racob7

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Professor Xavier walks into a bar.

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Deathstroke02

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PunyParker

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@racob7 said:

Professor Xavier walks into a bar.

heheheheheheheheheheheheheeeeeeeh....

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DigitalShooter9

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#31  Edited By DigitalShooter9

Q:Why is superman's shirt so tight?

A: Because it is a size "S"

Q: What does Batgirl wear to bed?

A: Her Dark Knight gown!

Q: Whats the difference between Batman and a unicorn?

A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters

Q: How many caped crusaders does it take to change a light-bulb?

A: None. They like the dark.

Older people might get this joke....

Three Super Heroes go Skiing for the weekend.

So Hawkeye, Cable, and Daredevil head to the slopes one weekend. The lodge they check into doesn't have enough rooms, so they have to share a King Bed room. Hawkeye sleeps on the left, Cable on the Right and Daredevil gets stuck in the middle. In the middle of the night, Cable wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting an old fashion!" At this point they're all awake and Hawkeye reports "unbelievable, I had the very same dream!" Then Daredevil says, "You guys have your minds in the gutter all the time, all I dreamt about was Skiing."

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Why did Peter Parker cross the road?

To get to Uncle Ben on the other side

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derekvang

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#33  Edited By derekvang

Q: What's Doc Ock's favorite month?

A: Ock-tober

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Q: Who does Aquaman call when he needs help?

A: Michael Phelps

LOL this one was pretty bad haha

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Q: What does Green Arrow put in his beverage?

A: Just ice

Get it? Just ice/Justice? Oh man

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DBVSE7

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#34  Edited By DBVSE7

Batmans parents jokes will never get old.. haha just like his parents.

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Rev_Sulphur

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#35  Edited By Rev_Sulphur

One day Superman is having a fly around Metropolis. while flying he notices Wonder Woman sunbathing naked on top of a building. Superman thinks to himself. "you know I could fly down there, give her the old in out really quick and be gone before she notices" So Superman, quick as a can be. Flys down drills Wonder Woman and flys away in the blink of an eye, feeling very pleased with himself. Meanwhile Wonder Woman shouts "What the hell was that" and the Invisible Man says "I have no idea but my butt is killing me"

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syedwaqarfahad

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@racob7: That made me giggle like a 4 year old hehehehehe

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Marvete_e_DCnauta

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@dabee said:

What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?

One is superhero Tony Stark, and the other is just a simple command.

Lel.

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AwesomePerson

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#38  Edited By AwesomePerson

How many Bat Family members does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they all like the dark