For this blog, I am going to explore Peter's feelings about his double life, specifically how he feels about being Spider-Man. I believe that Peter has a love/hate relationship with being Spider-Man. Granted, this is a pretty basic and simple subject, but I wanted to go in depth about it because I have a lot of fun writing these blogs. I won't be writing any more of these these for a good while because I really should find something better and more wholesome to do, and I've been trying to do that ever since lockdown got eased in my country a few weeks ago.
Peter loves and hates being Spider-Man. Sometimes he loves being Spider-Man, other times he hates being Spider-Man. His feelings about his double life aren't black and white because his powers and costumed identity are such a double edged sword. The 2002 edition of the Marvel Encyclopedia talks about Peter's love for being Spider-Man:
Biography: As Peter matured, so did his relationship with his on-again, off-again girlfriend girlfriend Mary Jane Watson. The two dated seriously for many years and ultimately committed to a long term romance. But as before, Spider-Man's influence meant Peter had to divide his loyalties between Mary Jane and his costumed identity. Unable to resolve their differences, the couple has separated.
Peter's life as Spider-Man is not all gloom and doom. While a tremendous responsibility, being Spider-Man is also a release for Peter, an exhilarating adventure that allows him to leave his everyday troubles behind and swing from rooftops while battling criminals with webs and wisecracks. Despite the personal tragedy he has endured, Peter truly loves being Spider-Man.
For years, Peter hid his dual identity from Aunt May, sheltering her from the truth for fear it would harm her and damage their relationship. When Aunt May finally learned that Peter is Spider-Man, the two came to a new understanding, and May became one of Spider-Man's strongest supporters. She still worries about Peter constantly, but is now even more proud of her nephew.
Constantly balancing his responsibility as a hero with his personal life, and ever ready with a wisecrack to hide his personal struggles, Peter remains steadfast in living up to the responsibility that his great powers have thrust upon him, donning his Spider-Man costume for the good of all.
Source ― Marvel Encyclopedia (2002).
The Encylopedia says that Peter's life as Spider-Man "is not all gloom and doom" and that although it is a tremendous responsibility, it "is also a release for Peter" in that it's "an exhilarating adventure" that enables Peter to "leave his everyday civilian troubles behind" and also "swing from rooftops while battling criminals with webs and wisecracks" i.e. he can have fun web slinging from tall buildings and fight crime by webbing up criminals and make wisecracks to mock them. So yeah, despite "the personal tragedy that has endured" over the years, Peter "truly loves being Spider-Man" because it comes with such great perks.
All of this is absolutely true. Being Spider-Man has been a release for Peter ever since he first got his powers from the radioactive spider bite at Midtown High:
Peter Parker: Here's where Spider-Man got his start! If the safety shielding on their exhibits had been a little stronger, then the spider that bit me there wouldn't have been radioactive... And I wouldn't have these crazy powers! I would remain a normal Midtown High sophomore! Ah, Midtown High--the old alma mater! I don't think I've been back here since graduation. I can look back at high school now and laugh, but it didn't seem so funny then! Things sure have changed. In those days I was "Puny Parker"... The class nerd... The little professor... The guy with the glasses. None of the girls would give me the time of day... And I was the butt of a thousand jokes. Becoming Spider-Man was the only release I had. Hmm... Maybe things haven't changed so much after all!
Source ― The Amazing Spider-Man (1963) Issue #240.
Peter goes into a lot of detail about how much of a social outcast he was at high school before the spider bite. People gave him nicknames ("Puny Parker" being one of them), none of the girls gave Peter the time of day, and Peter was "the butt of a thousand jokes." Being Spider-Man was the only release Peter had from being a social outcast. It was essentially a form of escapism that Peter seeked from his civilian life.
Peter talks about how becoming Spider-Man was a great form of escapism here:
Peter Parker: Gosh, wearing these threats reminds me of the first time I ever did this--what a sensational feeling that was. From Puny Parker, class loser, to the Amazing Spider-Man... Strong, free... And spectacular! Being bitten by that radioactive bug was the best thing that ever happened to me--even if I do occasionally get into trouble!
Source ― The Amazing Spider-Man (1963) Issue #219.
Peter describes his transformation into Spider-Man as a "sensational feeling" because he went from being "Puny Parker, class loser to the Amazing Spider-Man... Strong, free... And spectacular!" Peter subsequently says that being "bitten by that radioactive bug was the best thing that ever happened" to him even if he does "occasionally get into trouble" in his double life. This is true because Peter's costumed life as Spider-Man was the opposite to his civilian life as a Midtown High student because Peter Parker was a social outcast due to being an introverted science nerd, whereas Spider-Man was a renowned celebrity on television due to his amazing powers. Peter considers the radioactive spider bite to be the best thing that ever happened to him because his powers gave him the chance to create an alter ego called Spider-Man and recieve fame and money as Spider-Man, so Peter naturally felt empowered when he became Spider-Man.
Not only did Peter's powers give him a release by enabling him to create a costumed alter ego that boosted his confidence and self esteem, it also gave him a method of stress relief: Web slinging... Or web swinging, however you want to call it. Peter has talked about how web slinging has helped him cope with stress on a few occasions, such as here:
Peter Parker: Ahh! Now, that's better! Nothing like a little web slinging to chase the blues away! Besides, I always seem to think clearer up here!
Source ― The Amazing Spider-Man (1963) Issue #255.
When Peter goes out web slinging as Spider-Man, he quickly feels better and says there's nothing "like a little web slinging to chase the blues away" and also remarks that he "always seems to think clearer up" in the skies.
There's also this occasion:
Peter Parker: Some people jog. Some pump iron. But me, I've found that a solid stretch of web slinging--is just the ticket for soothing this poor boy's soul! There! I feel better already!
Source ― The Amazing Spider-Man (1963) Issue #291.
Peter talks about how some people jog or pump iron to relieve stress, and says that his method of relieving stress is web slinging. Web slinging is a form of physical exercise, so Peter's body would subsequently produce endorphins and other mood elevating hormones whilst he's web slinging. Exercise is scientifically known for having a positive impact on one's mental health, so since Peter lives a very physically active life, he would be exercising on a daily basis. Peter's crime fighting activities would naturally stimulate all the mood elevating hormones necessary to relieve himself of the stress of his everyday problems and struggles.
Peter Parker: Suddenly, the walls seem way too close in here. I need some air... Lots of air! This is more like it! I think I'd go bonkers if I couldn't zip around town like this... With the wind whipping past, and New York stretching out all around! There's nothing like it!As long as I'm out and about, I think I'll head north--to Columbia Presbyterian! I haven't dropped by the hospital to check on the Black Cat in at least 24 hours!
Source ― The Amazing Spider-Man (1963) Issue #243.
There's also a similar occasion where Peter remarks how important web slinging has been to keep his sanity intact:
Peter Parker: Wow! Some dream. Hmmmm, no wonder it's so cold in here. Well, Aunt May always said to leave the window open... The fresh air will do you good. Guess my little chat with the Kingpin rattled me more than I thought! Seeing Matt Murdock like that... Right after finding out Flash Thompson is the Hobgoblin... It's a wonder I got any sleep at all! In spite of the fact I've decided to give up this Spidey schtick... I gotta admit that at times like these web slinging around town has done a lot to keep me sane!
Source ― The Amazing Spider-Man (1963) Issue #277.
Even though Peter is contemplating going into permanent retirement from being Spider-Man, he admits that web slinging around New York has done a lot to keep him sane.
But of course, being Spider-Man isn't always fun and games. Sometimes being Spider-Man really... Really sucks:
Source ― The Amazing Spider-Man (1963) Issue #1.
Source ― The Amazing Spider-Man (1963) Issue #17.
Source ― The Amazing Spider-Man (1963) Issue #44.
Source ― The Amazing Spider-Man (1963) Issue #45.
Source ― The Amazing Spider-Man (1963) Issue #70.
Source ― The Amazing Spider-Man (1963) Issue #71.
Source ― The Amazing Spider-Man (1963) Issue #82.
Source ― The Amazing Spider-Man (1963) Issue #93.
Source ― The Amazing Spider-Man (1963) Issue #94.
Peter sometimes hates being Spider-Man because it creates so many problems for Peter's personal life that there are times he wishes he never got his powers in the first place:
Peter Parker: Nothing turns out right... *Sob*... I wish I had never gotten my super powers!
Source ― The Amazing Spider-Man (1963) Issue #1.
Peter sometimes hates being Spider-Man because it creates so many problems for HIS personal life that he wishes he never got his powers in the first place:
Peter Parker: I still remember that terrible day! I hadn't been Spider-Man for very long, and I didn't want to waste my powers! I remember how I stood calmly by when I might have helped to catch an escaping criminal! If only I had known... If I could somehow have gussed that very man whom I allowed to pass me would be the burglar who was later to murder Uncle Ben!! Why hadn't I stopped him?? Why? WHY?? And now, no matter what I do... No matter how great my spider powers are, I can never undo that tragic mistake! I can never completely forgive myself! Sometimes I hate my Spider-Man powers! Sometimes I wish I were just like any normal teenager! If only it had never happened!
Source ― The Amazing Spider-Man (1963) Annual 1.
But Peter's powers are both a blessing and a curse, which he discovers when seeing a hallucination of the dead Captain George Stacy:
George Stacy: You have tortured yourself by trying to live a normal life! But you cannot! You must accept that fact! You are Spider-Man! It is your blessing--and your curse--forever.
Source ― The Amazing Spider-Man (1963) Issue #100.
Peter's powers are a blessing and a curse. They're a blessing because he's given a lot of great power, but they are also a curse because he can't live a normal life because of his responsibilities to protect his fellow man (i.e. innocent civilians), apprehend criminals and stop super villains.
Closing Statements
This blog is basically a collection of random trivia. I'm not exactly exploring a complex and nuanced topic about Peter Parker, but they're still worth talking about in my opinion. I hope this was worth reading. Good day and stay safe.
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