So I saw the movie. I posted some stuff on 4chan, decided to take a look here and I'm just going to clear things up because if you summarize 3 hours into bullet points sure it sounds whack, it sounds about as whack as Hulk getting mopped 2 min into Infinity War and never showing up again.
1) Thor's arc. It seems silly, but it works. Thor has always been very sensitive and feels things very deeply. We've seen more jokey, Earth influenced Thor as of late but don't forget this is the guy who sobbed when he found out he had failed Odin in Thor 1 and sulked when after losing most of his people in Thanos' assault. What kept him moving every time he gets into a funk? A call to action, to protect and avenge. Early in the movie he kills Thanos but the thing is, Thor's call to action almost always ends in success... this time there's an emptiness. Yeah he killed Thanos, but nothing is better. Nothing is fixed, and this time he blames himself squarely because he had the chance to stop him and didn't. Thor's call to action failed and now there's nobody to set his sights on or blame or attack or start a crusade over. There's just loss. It makes sense int he moment. Thor has ALWAYS felt things deeply and this hurts him. This is a believable bit of character development. Also the fat Thor thing feels very normal after Ragnarok because Thor has gotten progressively "Earth-washed" as I call it after spending so much time on Earth with Tony and the crew. His mannerisms changed, his jokes changed, yeah the writers changed but the in universe explanation is that his time with friends really changed his personality. If Ragnarok never happened this scene would've felt so out of place but honestly given Ragnarok it feels natural and I promise you, if you liked Thor and Ragnarok you won't be disappointed. In what is one of MY personal favorite scenes Frigga reunites with Thor and he realizes how he's acting. Is this out of character? NO. Thor ALWAYS needs guidance. He gets guidance from Odin, he gets guidance from Frigga, he gets guidance from Rocket in Infinity War and so forth. He gets himself together and him turning over Asgard may seem weird and admittedly I was shocked at first but I have no insider in the House of Mouse info but I'm 95% sure it's because while this story IS an ending for most OG Avengers it is NOT and ending for Thor. Unlike Cap and Tony he is NOT done growing. We will see another Thor movie and he will continue to grow as a person. So if you feel shortchanged just know it's because not EVERY OG Avenger's story ends here. Thor's sure as hell doesn't, there will be more Thor. Also remember, Thor has been alive hundreds of years and only in the last TEN Has he grown from being the jock we saw in Thor 1. He's still a bit young proportionately to growing up, he still has a journey.
2) Captain America. I keep reading character assassination but watch the movie. It feels like genuine growth. People say "Cap would never do that!" yeah and Tony Stark would never willingly sign up with the government after flipping them off in Iron Man 2, but things change and people change. Is that what you guys want, for Ultron to be right about Cap? Do we want Cap to be so lost and so unable to truly live because of what he lost that he keeps filling his time with one war after another? The movie definitely shows that Cap came out of the ice but he never really did, like alluded to in Ultron. He has been frozen since then, in one neverending war. For once the war is finally over. It's time to go home. The Earth doesn't need him at the end of the movie. He knows it's in good hands but more importantly it's less about the time travel thing of not touching anything as to preserve the 1 in 14,605,000 victory and more about the war FINALLY being over for him. Everyone here gives a shit about Cap but it seems like nobody on this sub gives a shit about Steve Rogers. This is an ending for Steve Rogers, and while he is friends with every one of the Avengers anyone who is married knows the love of your life is a little different and it's not like we haven't seen him carry around that compass for the past 10 years and Peggy has been a part of every Cap movie. The Cap/Peggy romance isn't some shoehorned thing. It's a shadow that has always been over Cap, hell look where his vision takes him in Ultron. If you watch it and hate it, whatever, that's on you but I'm telling you most people will see it and probably count it as one of the most beautiful moments in MCU history. Also paradoxes do happen but I mean Kyle Reese is John Connor's father so like, I don't know it's based on comic books in which this shit happens all the time I never really obsessed over the fact that time travel played a role here. It's really used well and used to take people on a tour of the MCU while providing some of the most intimate character moments in the entire series. Trust me.
3) Tony. If anything, I think when you all see it, THIS will be the divisive thing and not Cap's ending, even if you hate the sound of Cap's ending when you see it I'm telling you it will feel right. But Tony... okay, this one hurts because we actually get to see a happy ending for Tony, it just happens really early in the movie. But in typical Tony fashion, he can't let it go, it's his biggest flaw, he just obsesses and caves to his compulsion to fix everything. It happens in this movie and it costs him his life and he knows it. So as a Tony fan it hurts so much to see him have everything in life and lose it but mark my words when I say it is the most epic thing I have ever seen in a movie in my entire life no exaggeration whatsoever. The way Tony goes out, which you've all read about but trust me when you see it the roof will go off the place, if you're going to start this incredible journey with Iron Man, I accepted that it had to end with Iron Man. It's bittersweet, but so in character for Tony. He wasn't a perfect person like people thought Cap was, but if you're a Tony fan it cements him, above Cap even, as the greatest hero of our time. By far. With all his imperfections and all his character flaws in this movie he does the impossible and it's Tony's grand finale.
Plus, RDJ is getting older. Can't be Iron Man forever, and people complain about Cap sitting on the sidelines, would you be okay if Iron Man did it? Iron Man is even MORE compulsive about trying to fix the world's problems so it sure as hell wouldn't make since for him to be alive but just chill as the world goes crazy again. It makes sense, it fits. I know you'll say "well if it's okay for Cap to grow out of that why isn't it okay for Tony" and that's because that's literally the point of Cap's character. He has been stuck in a war forever. The war is finally over. It's beautiful.
4) Nat. It's not suicide, it's sacrifice and there's a huge difference. Tony doesn't commit suicide by gauntlet just as Steve didn't commit suicide by plane in the first avenger. Natasha went from being someone who never knew what the right thing to do was. She's insecure with a lot of things and constantly doubts herself. She's been used before and her entire arc is about her coming to terms with her moral compass and understanding that she is in fact a hero and she is part of a genuine family that she deserves. Nat was the most distant and became someone who willingly and knowingly sacrificed herself because of not just the planet but for the love of the family she made. Nat is one of my favorite characters and it stung to see her go but it just validated her as a hero. The scene works especially given that Clint named a kid after Nat and the scene between the two of them prior is incredible.
Anyway, calm down, watch the movie and you'll probably really love it. If not, whatever, but honestly so much of this stuff works in the film