A Batman Rant - Apologies in advance

So I know I'm probably goin' to get a bit of a Internet verbal beat down from the Batman fans out there but I'm afraid I've simply had enough. I like Batman, I really do, the old 90's Batman cartoon is still one of the greatest things I've ever watched. Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill pulled out the best Bats and Joker team there has ever been, the Arkham games are some of the best comic book games I've ever played (The Punisher on PS2 and The Darkness series of PS3 being the best) but sadly the way things are goin' these days it seems that Batman can beat just about anybody and if I'm honest, it's startin' to piss me off a bit.

It started a while back after I began collecting the Ultimate Marvel Graphic Novel Collection and read the Spider-man 'Coming Home' story arc and was introduced to a man who became my favourite villain ever, Morlun. This well spoken, well mannered and very well dressed wreckin' ball gave Spider-man a beatin' the likes of which I have never seen before and have never seen since, I then looked up the other 2 stories in which he appeared and enjoyed them both as well. After readin' these I was mentionin' them to some mates in the bar one night and sayin' how cool I thought the idea of Morlun was when out the blue a voice rang out sayin' "It doesn't matter, Batman could beat him." I looked round, a little shocked if I'm honest, and there was my friend Duke who is a big Batman fan and he was adamant that Batman would kick Morlun's ass. When I questioned just how on earth a normal human being could hurt somethin' like Morlun the only answer I got was "He's Batman, he always finds a way." I simply asked him to explain this and the went off on some crazy rant where Batman could use some type of sonic ring to cause Morlun to bleed and then analyse his blood and then use radiation to kill Morlun. When I asked what Morlun was doin' durin' all this he answered, "Gettin's his ass kicked by Batman." I threw this off as Duke takin' the piss and left it at that.

Then I joined this site and immediately noticed that anytime Batman is in the Battle forums he wins, he could be up against the entire Justice League and Avengers but somehow, according to Batman fans he will win, well I'm sorry but that's a load of 80110<£5! Batman, is a smart guy with some cool gadgets, that's it. This idea that he can beat anyone with preparation is insanity, if Batman tried to fight someone like Thor and was given a year of preparation he would still end up a smear on the end of Thor's boot, it's that simple.

I've started to notice that DC themselves are startin' to get on board with this idea, I enjoy the DC animated movies but have started to notice that Batman seems to be the focus of most of them, even when they are supposed to be Justice League movies. I sat down and recently watched Justice League War and mostly enjoyed it, however I did notice that Batman somehow managed to steal the Green Lanterns ring right off his finger and no matter how many times I made that argument in the past I was told was talkin' crap as it could never happen but of course, Batman can do it. Later in the film the most unbelievable thing happened, Batman took a punch from Darkseid, I'll say that again, Batman, a human being, took a punch from one of the biggest, baddest and most feared person in the DC universe and got up straight after it. WHAT!? Surely that has to be wrong!

I then had my own idea of doin' a villain swap, so could Batman last as long in Megacity one as Dredd would in Gotham? No chance! Tell Batman that he has to deal with someone like Judge Death or Mean Machine and he'd have more than a handful! Tell Dredd he has to deal with Riddler, Two-Face or Penguin and he'll go shoot them, in their faces, because they're law breakers, job done. In my crazy mind, this proves that Dredd is tougher than Batman, same goes for Spider-man, Punisher and anyone else who has to deal with real bad asses. Let's be honest people, Batman's two toughest villains are Croc and Bane (and maybe Clayface) but he doesn't have to deal with half the crap other characters do.

In my honest opinion the best thing DC could do with Batman is give him a Punisher Max style run, a new universe, an old-ish bad ass Batman, no other heroes in it. Just Batman and his villains, no one else, get Garth Ennis to write it. It would be a chance to give Batman back his humanity and get rid rid of this stupid idea that he is some sort of god killer!

Well, that's my rant, I had to get it off my chest and I don't expect a lot of people to understand but I guess that's why these forums are here. So, in future I urge you, when thinkin' about who would kick who's ass please be responsible, think from the head and not the heart and realise that practically everyone would kick Batman's human ass!

I know this may get locked, banned or deleted but this is not spite it's an opinion and thanks for takin' the time to read it, it really helped me vent. Peace out!

Grave

Its fanboys not just Batman fans I'm a huge batman fan but I still laugh at the Superman vs batman threads batman is a cool popular hero people dont want to see their idea of cool get beaten up by a guy in red and blue tights.

I know what you mean, I'm a Punisher fan but must admit that big Frank doesn't stand a chance against the likes of Hulk, Supes, Thor or even Logan.

I guess it's just annoyin' when people refused to admit that Bats isn't the god like figure DC are kind of makin' him out to be. I loved Frank Millars Dark Knight Returns, it felt like a very human Batman and at the end of the day, isn't that what Batman is supposed to be?

Uh your biggest mistake. Mistaking Batman fanboys for actual Batman fans.

I then had my own idea of doin' a villain swap, so could Batman last as long in Megacity one as Dredd would in Gotham? No chance! Tell Batman that he has to deal with someone like Judge Death or Mean Machine and he'd have more than a handful! Tell Dredd he has to deal with Riddler, Two-Face or Penguin and he'll go shoot them, in their faces, because they're law breakers, job done. In my crazy mind, this proves that Dredd is tougher than Batman, same goes for Spider-man, Punisher and anyone else who has to deal with real bad asses. Let's be honest people, Batman's two toughest villains are Croc and Bane (and maybe Clayface) but he doesn't have to deal with half the crap other characters do.

Legitimate query: do you actually read Batman comics? Because none of this makes any sense to anyone who does. Riddler, Two-Face and Penguin are not physical threats to Batman. Croc and Bane have never ranked among Batman's most powerful foes. And given that this is a rant that emerges on the forums every other day, it's safe to say no one's getting banned over it.

Also this might seem a little weird, but I've seen it around the forums from several users on several occasions, and I just have to ask:

Who types out their accents? Why? It's the internet. We can't actually hear you.

Like we needed another thread about someone crying about Batman.

sigh...

I don't understand why people care so much about battle forums, there just made up fights, not too different from fanfiction.

Hater.

Esto. Esto so much. But there are plenty of stories were Batman isn't "BatGod". Hush is a perfect example. He would have lost, gotten killed if _______ people I will not mention so I don't spoil the surprise, didn't come and saved him.

But on a serious note, I honestly tend to find it a little annoying when people whom don't frequent the battle forums say stuff like this. Isn't everything we discuss on these forums fictional at the end of the day? People on the battle forums just discuss whom would win a fight between the fictional characters given their abilties, etc. We know that they're fictional(Or at least I hope so), and we're just debating for the sake of debating. A lot of us find it fun to match wits and see whom can better expound on their opinions, and disprove of what others think. I'm not aiming this personally at you, just speaking out about something I see a lot.

but sadly the way things are goin' these days it seems that Batman can beat just about anybody and if I'm honest, it's startin' to piss me off a bit.

Facepalm'd here

Then I joined this site and immediately noticed that anytime Batman is in the Battle forums he wins, he could be up against the entire Justice League and Avengers but somehow, according to Batman fans he will win

That doesn't happen on the battle forums anymore

This is just a pretty poorly thought out "rant" based on a lack of knowledge on Batman, and how people perceive him in general. You're acting like anyone who likes Batman, like your friend, thinks he can beat the Justice League blindfolded. This isn't the case. Anyone who either has common sense, or has read a sufficient amount of Batman comics, knows this is hogwash. It's not that big of a problem and the only real place on the internet this kind of drivel gets posted is in youtube video comments.

YES!

For people who think batman is overrated, please play an Arkham game, it makes you have a better understanding on how batman does his shit. He can beat petty thugs, he occasionally gets capture, he uses different gadgets and strategies and you never once feel that he is some kind of omnipotent god who can beat anyone blindfolded.

@thitiki said:

@wolverine08 said:

@rustyroy said:

I don't understand why people care so much about battle forums, there just made up fights, not too different from fanfiction.

But on a serious note, I honestly tend to find it a little annoying when people whom don't frequent the battle forums say stuff like this. Isn't everything we discuss on these forums fictional at the end of the day? People on the battle forums just discuss whom would win a fight between the fictional characters given their abilties, etc. We know that they're fictional(Or at least I hope so), and we're just debating for the sake of debating. A lot of us find it fun to match wits and see whom can better expound on their opinions, and disprove of what others think. I'm not aiming this personally at you, just speaking out about something I see a lot.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong about battle forums but I don't know why some people have to take it so seriously when someone says his favorite character wins against a character that he will possibly never fight against, just because they say their character wins doesn't mean they will actually win, they will win only if the writers wants them to win and why would anyone put someone like Batman against powerhouses like Thor, Silver Surfer or Galactus in the first place? I find it a little annoying when people bash a character or his/her fans just because one or two of his fans say he will win against some other character in a fight.

@rustyroy said:

@thitiki said:

@wolverine08 said:

@rustyroy said:

I don't understand why people care so much about battle forums, there just made up fights, not too different from fanfiction.

But on a serious note, I honestly tend to find it a little annoying when people whom don't frequent the battle forums say stuff like this. Isn't everything we discuss on these forums fictional at the end of the day? People on the battle forums just discuss whom would win a fight between the fictional characters given their abilties, etc. We know that they're fictional(Or at least I hope so), and we're just debating for the sake of debating. A lot of us find it fun to match wits and see whom can better expound on their opinions, and disprove of what others think. I'm not aiming this personally at you, just speaking out about something I see a lot.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong about battle forums but I don't know why some people have to take it so seriously when someone says his favorite character wins against a character that he will possibly never fight against, just because they say their character wins doesn't mean they will actually win, they will win only if the writers wants them to win and why would anyone put someone like Batman against powerhouses like Thor, Silver Surfer or Galactus in the first place? I find it a little annoying when people bash a character or his/her fans just because one or two of his fans say he will win against some other character in a fight.

Well, the fights in the battle forums are based around if the two characters hypothetically met. I mean, I get what you're saying, but people get angry even when it's not battle forum related. People get pissy when they see that Batman is outselling their favorite comic book series, etc. Battle forums just add unto that jealousy. Comic fans as a whole could benefit by dropping some of that bitterness.

@gravesgun: If you feel this way, don't read the battles he's in on this website. Wolverine fanboys do the same thing with Wolverine. When you argue about fictional characters, people can make up pretty much any argument they want. That's how it goes. Batman is the most popular superhero by far (in terms of comic book, movie, tv and video game sales) so the writers obviously don't want him getting punked by characters who aren't as popular (ALL other characters pretty much) on a regular basis.

I know that, my comment was in response to the OP, I don't take part in battle forums but I enjoy reading the argument.

For what it's wort, GravesGun's ultimate point - that Batman doesn't make sense in the larger DC universe - is entirely correct. He doesn't. Any crossover that has Batman in it will inevitably run into the question of why a few dozen planet shaking superheroes don't swoop down into Gotham and clean it up in one afternoon and then lock the villains up on the Moon or something. This is either glossed over in any crossover that features him, or handled by upping his villains to ridiculous levels to the point that, for example, Poison Ivy can take down Green Lantern. There's a good reason why every new Justice League comic has to have a scene in it where they try to explain (To varying degrees of success) just what the hell Batman is doing there.

The only way you can get an internally consistent Batman story is to isolate him in his own little world away from all the cosmic level stuff happening around it. That's what every movie so far did, that's what the original TAS did, that's what the Arkham games did, and it's part of the reason why they were all massive successes.

@gravesgun: This is why Batman works best in Gotham.

I honestly could care less when people hate Batman, imo it just shows how great of a superhero Batman is when he takes down Superman or any other powerful character. It's not like every time Batman and Superman fight, Batman wins, Batman beat Superman in TDKR that's the only one I can think of. As long as the fight is written well and makes sense I'll enjoy it. And it fiction, so...

@darthaznable said:

Uh your biggest mistake. Mistaking Batman fanboys for actual Batman fans.

Best quote in 2014

You lost credibility when you said the Punisher was a great game

Couldn't the same be said for Superman? or WW? why not just unleash Dr Fate on Metropolis or Spectre everywhere(I'm sure we wont find a dearth of explanations with in the comics themselves of Spectre not acting in various situations that call for him).

"I hate Batman rant" #193741

But Batman can beat anybody.

BATKICK FTW

I understand. I see your point of view and agree that Batman has transformed into a inconsistent enigma of ridiculous feats. I don't mind the feats as much as people adding that he has no powers, when he clearly defies logic. He takes batnaps for crying out loud.

Anyways, the only thing I wanna tell you is, you need to realize Batman is like the Chuck Norris of comicbook culture. He's a joke (not in a bad way). The same way Chuck Norris is used as a joke.

The boogie man is afraid of Chuck Norris hiding under his bed.

Batman's joke is the future classic, "Because, he's the goddamn Batman!"

How did Batman take a punch from Darkside (I don't care)?

How did Batman have shark repellant?

How did BAtman survive that?

all these questions and more have one universal answer

Because He is the God darn Bat bat man

Oh and The Batmites are in the millions so there is no way The batman's reign will fall. (+)

One day, I want to make an all-encompassing, rage fueled Batman rant that we can just link to people who post these.

Literally every single "I hate Batman thread" consists of like, 1 of 4 specific arguments.