Superman vs. Critters

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Jakesully1981

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#1  Edited By Jakesully1981

For being a fan of DC comics and a fan of the first 2 Critters movies, i thought it would be a logical crossover for both Warner properties to fight each other in a crazy but interesting crossover. It's set after the events of Critters 2 about a year later, Charlie is still a bounty hunter who works with Ug and his new partner Zula (who is in need of a bodyfit yet finds the right one later on) as they thought they got rid of the whole Crite problem. Lex Luthor discovers some eggs in Grover's Bend as he has a plan to take care of Metropolis with a plague and of use a scheme to use an alien virus on Superman then have him deal with the man-eating dustmops from space while he is very slowly weakening of his powers. Charlie with the other bounty hunters must go to Metropolis, help Superman fight them off and even try to find a cure for Supe's illness including to save the city.

This story is told in a script kind of fashion.

Prologue.

over the past 2 years, the town of Grover's Bend Kansas always had a problem with alien creatures. These weren't ordinary ETs they were dealing with, they were a lethal plague of hungry creatures that devoured every living thing their path. The first encounter happened 3 and half years ago on a prison asteroid, the creatures known as Crites escaped causing 2 dead and 3 wounded as they stolen a ship thus Warden Zanti hired 2 blank-faced shapeshifting bounty hunters named Ug and Lee to hunt them down. Apparently the creatures landed on Earth in Grover's Bend where they attacked a farming family known as the Browns, the 2 bounty hunters one who took on the body/face of rock singer Johnny Steele and Lee on various people like Officer Jeff Barnes to Reverend Miller to Charlie Mcfadden as they caused a ruckus looking for the Crites in Grover's Bend but one of the Browns named Bradley came to help them including the REAL Charlie Mcfadden.

The problem was solved but not for long, 2 years later there were eggs that were unhatched since that night with the Browns as they did moved to Kansas City away from the town when their story tore the town apart. Charlie for 2 years had been sober since as he works as a bounty hunter with his buddies from space Ug and Lee but were alerted by Zanti that G-sweep indicated Crite life on Earth. The eggs were hatched on Easter day as they attacked the town, luckily Ug and Lee whom just assumed the form of a playboy centerfold with Chuck arrived to save the town but that night Ug's partner Lee got eaten by the Crites causing him to be sad to revert to his original faceless no-body self. Brad who just came back to town the other day for Easter vacation with his grandmother as he with his girlfriend Meg and foe turned friend Wesley all got together to blow up the Crites in the local hamburger factory. It backfired, making the Crites fused into a big Critter ball that ate some people, Charlie used the ship to blow it up to pieces leaving his buddy Ug turn into him in honor of Charlie yet was pleasantly surprised to see the REAL Chuck alive then a spaceship took Ug back to the station and been declared a town hero.

Chuck still does work as a bounty hunter only when he is called by Ug so that he can be picked up for fun adventures in saving people and planets from other scum in the universe. Ug just found a replacement for Lee named Zula, he/she/it is another blank-faced shapeshifter from Ug's race as it has been a hunter for 5 years yet just got assigned to work with Ug and Charlie.

Too bad Zula is having a hard time finding the right body-fit yet not satisfied until he/she/it finds the right self but is a quality hunter no doubt just like Ug. Speaking of which, Ug got his body-fit of Johnny Steele back as he is glad he has it back for it's what made him happy and promises never to loose it again, but to keep on to it as long as he lives.

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In Grover's Bend Kansas at the Hungry Heifer restaurant.

We see Chuck Mcfadden as one of their employees there working on the grill on hotdogs as the nerdy manager guy you saw in Critters 2 named Phil is serving.

Phil the Hungry Heifer Manager: Say Charlie, have you checked on the dogs to see if they are any good?

Chuck: *Checking with plastic gloves* yes, they all seem perfect if you ask me. Say uh, do you remember last year when Lee took your glasses?

Phil The Hungry Heifer Manager: Lee?

Charlie: The space chick who transformed into you when you pissed her off.

Phil The Hungry Heifer Manager: Oh yes...*shudders* i'll never forget that moment, lucky i had an extra pair at home. So since your a bounty hunter, what is it like?

Charlie: *As he wipes the counter after doing hot-dog duty* Oh you know, just going to other planets to save some people, hunt down criminals and earn space money. Personally i prefer Earth money if you ask me, but i should say it's a fun job if your into hunting as much as i am.

Phil The Hungry Heifer Manager: Oh yes i've done some hunting for quite some time with my dad. Fun, i should say but not as much as you described when it comes to aliens especially those little killer tribbles.

Charlie: I know what you mean, those Crites are like hairy cockroaches you know and me with my 2 buddies are exterminators of whatever alien crook or vermin there is beyond the cosmos. Glad those hairy bastards are dead you know....dead as a doornail. Say uh Phil, did you hear about Lex Luthor in Kansas City K? i hear that man is a genius and one of the wealthiest people in America.

Phil: *puts money in cash in safe* Indeed Chuck, that man is top of the line especially in Metropolis. I mean oh to be like him...huge swimming pools, establishments, filet dinner and that sort of thing plus a high IQ, no wonder that man is respected. He's almost cooler than Bruce Wayne if you ask me.

Charlie: Are you kiddin'? Bruce Wayne can own Luthor in a poker game of better millionaire.

Meanwhile we go into Quigley's Antique store which had been closed for a year since the owner's death, we see 2 crates full of Crite eggs in them.

To Be Continued later... need rest.

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cool!

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#3  Edited By Jakesully1981

Chapter 1.

In space at Station 690, a place for other bounty hunters and space officers with soldiers to hang out and be stationed.

Ug (whom has Johnny Steele's appearance with now a ear-ring, beard/mustache on face and long hair in a pony-tail) is having lunch in the cafeteria with new partner named Zula who just took the form of a lizard-like humanoid so it can eat, the two are eating an alien delicacy which is noodles and purple alien vegetables.

Ug: Say Zula, you keep on trying to turn into other folks on other planets. Why aren't you finding the right body-fit like me for example?

Zula: *eating with fork* Well i am trying to look for the perfect form, i have not felt comfortable in other forms i had been so far. I just wanna be in human form just like you, i think it might feel more at home, but is it really comfortable?

Ug: *gulps down and drinks his water* yes it is but only if the form feels most modest and comfortable. I took on Earthling rocker Johnny Steele's form and i should say it's the best body i ever had and decided to keep it. Lee just couldn't keep up with his or her or it's form as Lee just keeps on changing but seemed ok when Lee was in the form of that magazine girl. Unfortunately that restaurant fellow pissed her off and Lee took his form, Charlie was upset at that point as i think he liked her but i'm sure he used that magazine called Playboy which he used on Lee to turn him back to that lovely lady's form.

Zula: Playboy?

Ug: Some Earth magazine with nude ladies in it that Charlie showed me and let me tell you, those Earth women in there are just...how should i say, fine.

Zula: *thinking in mind* Playboy, a magazine with naked Earth ladies? hmm, sounds awesome and maybe i can transform into one of the ladies in that magazine and get Charlie to like me. Oh Charlie is so cute as much as he's kind and lovable... i just want him, he's far better than Mr. too serious Ug himself, besides he already has a girlfriend, Charlie does not. I always adored that guy since i laid my faceless head/vision on him while being a no-face when Ug introduced me to him. I'm so sick of taking on male forms sometimes as they feel uncomfortable as i need an attractive female form as possible as my bodyfit to keep forever unless it fits good.

Ug: *Continues talking with Zula as he finishes up his meal* Not only that but also Hustler, Penthouse, Swank and whatever porn magazines there is on Earth that Charlie likes. However human women are fine but i do like my girlfriend Tulan the way she is despite having a cat-like look but still attractive. *Takes a drink of his water from the cup then wipes his mouth with hanky*

Zula: *continues thinking* Penthouse? sounds even better! *unthinks and speaks to Ug* i know what you mean, good lookin' fellow like yourself, lots of intergalactic dames like you. I think Tulan is quite a pretty Excihox* i should say and you have good taste.

*Exchihox is an alien species of feline humanoid- note to the reader

Ug: Thanks, that's why i love this bodyfit so much cause i'm happy and it's the right self as it fits my personality, Afterall we Asblez* can't live in the wrong self but we live forever you know but if we live in the wrong form, it gets...cramp, squeeze you out much like a kid when he outgrows his cloths sort of speak. I also start to like Johnny Steele's music as it's quite entertaining sort of speak especially Power of the Night being my fave song.

*Asblez are the race of shapeshifting blankhead beings that Ug, Zula and Lee are-note to reader

Zula: Indeed, i love that song too *finishes up the meal and drinks the water* now if you excuse me, i will revert back to being a nothing-face or a "cheese head" like Charlie refers to my original form as.

Both of them listen to Earth music on their radios that can make signals to Earth radiowaves even when watching videos of Earth culture on their ship-database.

Ug: *laughs at the Cheese-head remark that Zula said* oh that's too funny of Charlie, he's a real funny fellow i should say.

Zula begins to twitch as his head begins to glow blue as he shuts his eyes as wastes no time to revert back to original form. Orange colored scaled hands with claws begin to turn white colored as the Claws sink in the fingers and reptilian snout with features sink in as face turns blank. It's finally over as he/she/it is back to original featureless form with a white plasticine "cheesehead".

Ug: ready?

Zula nods.

Ug: good, that was a fine meal we had there and speaking of eating, let's be glad those furry little things back on Earth are dead as good.

Back in Grover's Bend, it's 6:00 and time for Chuck to go home.

Chuck: *clocks out* well Phil, it's been a long day, i'll see you tommorow.

Phil: Bye Chuck, see you later.

Chuck takes some dinner with him of 2 Cheese polar-burgers with buffalo chips and ice cold root beer with some ketchup in it to eat at home. He walks out the door and walks all the way home which isn't too far from Hungry Heifer but on another block to be exact.

A clerk who is apparently in his late 20s, tall African-american fellow named Bub approaches Phil.

Bub: Quite a remarkable fellow isn't he?

Phil: Oh yes Bub, one of my workers a space bounty hunter. He's such a nice fellow, i would always let him off work and cover for him whenever he goes on space missions then returns to Earth after that, he gives me his card and i would punch it in for him then i would give it back to him when he comes

Bub: Really? that's very nice of you, but we all remember the two incidents with those space porcupine thingies from 3 and half years ago and last year when they invaded the town. Boy, Charlie knew how to save our asses from those man-eating furballs.

Phil: Let's be glad not another Critter incident has ever occured since.

Charlie with his food in his hands walks into the RV park where he lives in his new home which happens to be a very nice large RV that he got as an award from the town and mayor for saving the town then goes inside.

Charlie: Phew, glad to be off work to enjoy a meal and watch TV.

He closes the door, puts the bag of food on the couch then takes off his shirt and pants as he is in his underwear then goes pulls out some pajamas then washes his hands in the bathroom sink, he slips on the couch and watches his TV to watch an episode of CSI Las Vegas on TNT, he eats his meal.

Charlie: *thinking while eating* is this the second job i deserve? i am fine as a bounty hunter but being a hamburger flipper for a fast food joint? i would love to work in a REAL eatery place like a steakhouse for once, but there's only one and not alot in this small town. I also deserve to be some place bigger, start more fresh than living in Grover's Bend for long, some place like Metropolis. Yeah, Metropolis... where the legendary Superman lives and keeps the city safe from danger. That would be awesome to live there but it's all just a dream anyway, if only something exciting would happen but let's hope it involves no Crites.

To be continued later, need some rest.