World Wrestling Entertainment: Alternate Parallel Universe 3

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The WWEAU Mega Rumble 2019 Recap

Fifty wrestlers from all over all file into the Parts Unknown Superdome’s reinforced ring. The crowd is electric. Tonight, one of them will be victorious and get a shot to compete in the Lethal Lottery tag match…the other forty-nine of them will go home with bruises and maybe a good story.

The bell rings and it’s on!

The first elimination is by the APA, JBL & Ron Simmons, who take out Animal, they’re hungry for tag team gold and make a statement by smashing the LoD member hard and early. Wade Barrett tosses out Velveteen Dream while across the ring Nailz upends Batista in a shock move.

Kizarny is thrown out by intellectual heavyweight Damien Sandow as Big Show choke slams JBL out of the ring and through the Spanish announcers table. John Cena hoists Cody Rhodes up and Attitude Adjusts him out the ring, then does his ‘U Can’t See Me’ to him. For his showboating Brian Pillman and British Bulldog grab a leg each and tip the C-Nation Leader out! Cody & Cena continue punching on ringside and up the ramp.

Umaga gets tossed by Awesome Kong. Roman Reigns tries to Superman Punch the Mountie, who ducks and the punch hits Hawk of LoD. The Mountie pushes Reigns over the top whilst Ron Simmons takes out the groggy Hawk, throwing the LoD member onto Reigns roaring “DAMN!”.

British Bulldog tries to escort Eugene out of the ring for his own safety, but the gifted superstar reverses it out tosses Davey Boy making the crowd roar in surprise. In another shock, the Wonder from Wollongong Iron Benny Coles pulls down the top rope which causes the charging Yokozuna to fall out the ring with a thud! Tyler Breeze throws Toro Yano out, who simply shrugs and accepts his fate.

Orange Cassidy hits the Big Show with one of his patented chops, it takes the giant by surprise and he falls backwards. He flails about to stay in the ring and pulls Konnan out with him. Chavo throws Iron Benny Coles out as Shelton Benjamin takes out Koko B Ware. Ricochet tosses out Swagger and as Zack Sabre Jr. flips Zack Ryder out, he in turn goes over the top thanks to Joe Hendry.

Sgt Slaughter is out by Eugene who is then himself thrown out by Lex Luger. Chavo is removed by Curt Stallion who then drops kicks Lex sending him out too. The Mountie throws out Ron Simmons and then finds himself out via R-Truth who rants nonsensically about the Canadian being the po-po!

Ricochet is dumped out by ApolloCrewes and Joe Hendry eliminates Orange Cassidy. Brian Pillman takes Kevin Nash out and in the strangest move of the night, Terry Funk eliminates himself when he realizes he only has 10 minutes left for the senior citizens discount at IHOP. Jesse Ventura is tossed by Shelton Benjamin who goes on a rampage hitting everyone at least twice declaring “There ain’t no stopping me!” who also knocks Vampiro & Joe Hendry out too.

Awesome Kong gets a staple in the face and is eliminated by Necro Butcher, who turns and threatens Tyler Breeze’s beautiful face which makes the pretty, pretty wrestler leap to save his looks. Papa Shango then tosses out by a Necro Butcher.

Wade Barrett sees a chance to eliminate Shelton Benjamin and charges towards him for the bull hammer manoeuvre. Shelton ducks allowing him to German suplex Wade OVER the top rope getting yet another elimination but it’s short lived as Tommy Dreamer gets rid of Shelton.

William Regal gets out his brass knuckles and nails Dreamer in the head then scooping him over the ropes for the elimination! Big John Studd catches Curt Stallion by the neck and throws him over the rope and out into the crowd!

Brian Pillman gets tossed out by Nailz and Big John eliminates Apollo Crewes after a brief tussle. Mortis and Damien Sandow team up to throw R-Truth out but he reverses their attack and dumps the both over only to get up ended himself by Papa Shango.

And then there were five. William Regal vs Big John Studd vs Tatanka vs Nailz vs Papa Shango. They stalk and eye off each other. Big John Studd goes for Tatanka, but the Lumbee warrior manages to toss the large man over the top rope, the crowd explodes in delight!

Regal takes out Papa Shango and then he teams with Tatanka to dump Nailz out leaving just two of them. William Regal versus Tatanka. They trade blows, Tatanka wears the Brit down as he’s the stronger of the two. Tatanka whips Regal to the ropes and bounces off the opposite ropes but he trips up over his headdress allowing Regal to back body drop Tatanka to the floor to pick up the victory.

WILLIAM REGAL is the winner!