Wildvine Reviews: Batman vs Jaws

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Posted by wildvine (14888 posts) - - Show Bio

Note: I do not own Batman or Jaws or the pic.

Batman vs Jaws

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The crossover no one wanted to see....Is the summer movie everyone will be complaining about.

I caught up with Stephen Spielberg, and Tim Burton, for a rare interview about this up and coming monstrosity.

Me: Mr Spielberg, Mr Burton, thank you for meeting me today. First question, everyone is asking, why are you making this movie?

Spielberg: Well, i know everyone was getting tired of the alien movies I keep making. Then I thought, another Jaws movie. I know the fans wanted more after 'Revenge'...

Burton: I'm trying to break into serious movies.

Me: And you thought Batman vs Jaws...?

Spielberg: he's a great character with tons of fans, and he fights Batman.

Burton: Is any movie more serious then a shark movie?

Me: In the movie poster Batman is holding a light saber. Is this a Star Wars crossover too?

Burton: (chuckles) That was just to get attention, actually Batman beats the shark to death with his knuckles.

Spielberg: Until the next movie that is...

Me: (Afraid to ask) Next movie?

Spielberg: Well, off record, we are in talks about a Rockey vs Jaws movie. (he smiles)

Burton: But in this movie, we get more of a sense of how tragic the character of the shark is. Yes, he tears people apart, but he's really tearing himself apart, because of his traumatic childhood.

Me: Okay, thank you for your time gentlemen.

Spielberg: Thank you (Shakes hand)

Burton: I got credit for 'Nightmare before Christmas' (Shakes hand)

Batman vs Jaws. Starring Jensen Ackles as Batman. Also starring...Who cares? it has Jensen Ackles.

Dedicated to my Sis, Bumpyboo.

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#1 Posted by Joewell911 (14735 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

AWESOME

Now i wanna see this movie

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#2 Posted by BumpyBoo (14858 posts) - - Show Bio

No way, you did it, cool! I would really love to see this.

And thank you.

^_^

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#3 Posted by batkevin74 (15450 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine: Ha ha ha cute

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#4 Posted by lykopis (10845 posts) - - Show Bio

LOL -- that was hilarious!

Me: And you thought Batman vs Jaws...?
Spielberg: he's a great character with tons of fans, and he fights Batman.

This just did it for me. Great freaking job!

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#5 Posted by thespideyguy (2770 posts) - - Show Bio

Make the movie a fan fic.

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#6 Posted by andrewtheking (1004 posts) - - Show Bio

cool

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#7 Posted by CapFanboy (5590 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine said:

Dedicated to Bumpyboo.

Really. I don't even get a sidenote. Goddamit wildvine I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS!!!

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#8 Posted by wildvine (14888 posts) - - Show Bio

@CapFanboy said:

@wildvine said:

Dedicated to Bumpyboo.

Really. I don't even get a sidenote. Goddamit wildvine I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS!!!

Aww, Cap, she got dedication cause i wrote it for her. You get next dedication, if the story is worthy...

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#9 Posted by CapFanboy (5590 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine said:

@CapFanboy said:

@wildvine said:

Dedicated to Bumpyboo.

Really. I don't even get a sidenote. Goddamit wildvine I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS!!!

Aww, Cap, she got dedication cause i wrote it for her. You get next dedication, if the story is worthy...

Bu--Bu--But Gah! an-- and-- *cries*

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#10 Posted by wildvine (14888 posts) - - Show Bio

No one has caught the 'Nightmare before Christmas' joke yet...

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#11 Posted by wildvine (14888 posts) - - Show Bio

Actually i was going to write you in a future story anyway...

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#12 Posted by CapFanboy (5590 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine said:

Actually i was going to write you in a future story anyway...

:'D YAY! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!

Also, today marks the debut of Cappie's Confessions. It will be grotesque. It will be pointless. It will be the best thing you read in your entire life.

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#13 Posted by wildvine (14888 posts) - - Show Bio

Can't wait.

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#14 Posted by CapFanboy (5590 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine said:

Can't wait.

It's up...and terrible.

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#15 Edited by wildvine (14888 posts) - - Show Bio

Next week i interview Jensen Ackles about starring in Batman vs Jaws. Fair warning.

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#16 Posted by CapFanboy (5590 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine said:

Next week i interview Jensen Ackles about starring in Batman vs Jaws. Fair warning.

Remember, it's still a kids site.

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#17 Posted by wildvine (14888 posts) - - Show Bio

@CapFanboy said:

@wildvine said:

Next week i interview Jensen Ackles about starring in Batman vs Jaws. Fair warning.

Remember, it's still a kids site.

My good captain, whatever could you mean? (Bats eyelashes)

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#18 Posted by CapFanboy (5590 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine said:

@CapFanboy said:

@wildvine said:

Next week i interview Jensen Ackles about starring in Batman vs Jaws. Fair warning.

Remember, it's still a kids site.

My good captain, whatever could you mean? (Bats eyelashes)

Well, Spidey in a pink tutu is fine. He's fictional. But Jensen Ackle-- *imagines Jensen in a tutu.* No! See what you've started!!

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#19 Posted by wildvine (14888 posts) - - Show Bio

I love Jensen, so it will be tasteful i assure you.

I can see Jared Padalecki in a tutu though...

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#20 Posted by CapFanboy (5590 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine said:

I love Jensen, so it will be tasteful i assure you.

I can see Jared Padalecki in a tutu though...

Why. Why do you do these things?

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#21 Posted by wildvine (14888 posts) - - Show Bio

Yeah, that's in there now...

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#22 Posted by CapFanboy (5590 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine said:

Yeah, that's in there now...

It was always in there...

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#23 Posted by The Poet (8646 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine: This is great! :D

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#24 Posted by ekrolo (488 posts) - - Show Bio

Badass, what else can be said?! MAKE IT HAPPEN SPIELBERG!!!

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#25 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (2023 posts) - - Show Bio

Tim Burton produced Nightmare Before Christmas, his name's on the poster and it was his idea and story. He couldn't direct it due to Batman Returns and also Disney owned the film rights to his idea, even back in the 90's Disney owned everything!

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#26 Posted by wildvine (14888 posts) - - Show Bio

@4donkeyjohnson said:

Tim Burton produced Nightmare Before Christmas, his name's on the poster and it was his idea and story. He couldn't direct it due to Batman Returns and also Disney owned the film rights to his idea, even back in the 90's Disney owned everything!

Yes but a lot of people think he directed it, and that was the joke.

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#27 Posted by GR2Blackout (2931 posts) - - Show Bio

Um... why does Batman have a lightsaber in the pic?

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#28 Posted by wildvine (14888 posts) - - Show Bio

@GR2Blackout said:

Um... why does Batman have a lightsaber in the pic?

IDK, but i did offer a weak explanation in the "story".

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#29 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (2023 posts) - - Show Bio

Batman has a lightsaber, a DeLorean, a Green Lantern ring, shark repellant, a tricorder and a spaceship, all hidden in corners of the Batcave whenever he needs them. Fighting Jaws required a lightsaber :)

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#30 Posted by mrdecepticonleader (19685 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine: Pure genius !

Good job.

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#31 Posted by wildvine (14888 posts) - - Show Bio

@mrdecepticonleader said:

@wildvine: Pure genius !

Good job.

Thank you.

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#33 Posted by wildvine (14888 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74 said:

@wildvine: Bump to beat the spam! :)

thank you sir.

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#34 Posted by BumpyBoo (14858 posts) - - Show Bio

Giving this a....

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#37 Posted by BumpyBoo (14858 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine: I want that outside my bedroom O_O

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#38 Posted by wildvine (14888 posts) - - Show Bio

Year and a half anniversary bump.

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#39 Posted by BumpyBoo (14858 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine said:

Year and a half anniversary bump.

That long already?? Still so funny ^_^

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#40 Posted by wildvine (14888 posts) - - Show Bio

@bumpyboo:

Well, its dated compared to my current ability. But holds up pretty well.

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#41 Posted by BumpyBoo (14858 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine: I don't know what pleases me more about that statement, the truth of how much your writing has improved, or the indication that your confidence as a writer has grown along with it :) x

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#42 Edited by Straight-Fire (27512 posts) - - Show Bio
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#43 Posted by wildvine (14888 posts) - - Show Bio
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#44 Posted by Straight-Fire (27512 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine: You're welcome! =D

When are you gonna make another review? =O

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#45 Edited by wildvine (14888 posts) - - Show Bio
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#46 Edited by Straight-Fire (27512 posts) - - Show Bio
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#47 Posted by Joygirl (21036 posts) - - Show Bio

How did I never see this?! This is friggin' hilarious. XD

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#48 Posted by Darling_Luna (12918 posts) - - Show Bio

Soooper cute !

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#49 Posted by wildvine (14888 posts) - - Show Bio

@darling_luna:

You should skim my library. I have lots of stuff you probably haven't seen.

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#50 Edited by FicOPedia (2207 posts) - - Show Bio
Scene from the movie?
Scene from the movie?

I'm sorry- I just couldn't resist. And honestly, I'm surprised that no one thought of this sooner. Especially @capfanboy or @bumpyboo. :)