"Useless... USELESS!"
The Gun Bunny hammered her fist right through the window of her own apartment while grinding her teeth. Luigi Mario who were still tied to a chair looked at her and cowered.
"Wait, I know plenty more about him. I know that he is allergic to chocolate, and that he pretend to be stupiderer than he actually-"
"All of that doesn't matter to me! AARGH!"
She was finished. She just knew it.
This was a stupid idea to begin with.
Mr Rabbit was losing his patience and she couldn't give him a dead superhero to make sure to be on his good side. Getting fired didn't worry her. After all, Mr Rabbit had lost too much because of the Cat. He could rebuild his fortune, but it would take time. If she could, she would quit working for him. It was unlikely that Gun Bunny could find someone who paid as well as Mr Rabbit did, but she would make by.
But that was the problem with an employer like Mr Rabbit; quitting and getting fired got you the same thing; the boot.
A gigantic boot. The boot of a giant who could squash you like a bug.
As Gun Bunny's name implied, she was good with firearms. That would help her very little against a meta-human with the ability to grow into a giant.
So she had kidnapped some guy who knew the taxi driver who had assisted Cat now and then... and all she got out of that was learning that the taxi driver was a goblin.
AND SO WHAT?!
She didn't give a &%¤# if the taxi driver was the easter bunny. She needed to know WHERE to find him. But that was the ONLY thing Luigi didn't know.
Gun Bunny turned toward Luigi. "Do you have ANY idea how angry you make me?"
Luigi shook his head.
"You make me so... very angry." She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. Then, she opened her eyes and looked at Luigi. At this moment, she would pretend that everything that was wrong with her life was his fault. "I actually planned on killing you once I was done with you and then dispose of your body... But that won't be enough."
Luigi gulped.
"You know what I'm going to do to you?"
Luigi shook his head.
"Me neither." Gun Bunny sat on a chair n front of her victim and stared Luigi right into his eyes. Luigi could almost not bear to look back, but he didn't dare to look away. Or blink, for that matte of fact. "First... I think I will start with... tearing your lips out..." She paused, giving herself a moment to enjoy the barbaric threat. "Yeah... Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do. And then... I'm gonna gouge your eyes out. Yeah... that's what I'm gonna do."
"Phu-p-p-phu-p-" Luigi was too terrified to utter a word.
"You're scared, huh? Are you?" Gun Bunny made a grim smile. "Good. That's very good. Next... I'm gonna tear your arms out of the sockets. And you wanna know what else? I'm gonna untie you from that chair, make you stand up... and then, I'm going to HIT you! And you're gonna fall. And I'm gonna look down. And I'm... gonna... laugh!"
Luigi bawled.
"But..."
Luigi stopped his crying. He had hope?
"But..." Gun Bunny looked calmer. "There is... one thing... ONE thing that might save you. One thing you could actually do for me."
"ANYTHING! I WILL DO ANYTHING, JUST SPARE ME!"
"Alright..." Gun Bunny stood up, went to Luigi, took him on the chin and asked:
"Are you Italian?"
"... What?"
"Your name sounds Italian. And you have some sort of accent. So, are you? Or are your parents Italian?"
"... Yes, my parents are from Italy. My mama and papa raised me in Italytown, Globetropolis."
"Close enough. So, Luigi... do you know how to make spaghetti bolognese?"
"... Yes?"
"Alright... here is what we do; You are going to give me a recipe to a damn good bolognese sauce. And it better be the best damn thing I ever had in my entire life, or your existence will be the very definition of pitiful."
And then, after Gun Bunny had turned off the reading lamp that made her the only thing in the room that Luigi could see, she clapped twice, which activated the ceiling lamp, illuminating the entire room.
Luigi could now see that the room he had been trapped inside was a bit messy. Not as in someone not having time to clean it up, but simply didn't feel like it. His captor now sat on the chair in front of him again and now held a pencil and a piece of paper.
"So?" She asked him. "What are you waiting for, a start signal? Chop chop!"
"... Um... How many are you making food for?"
"Three."
"Then you will need four red onions, medium sized and finely chopped..."
As Luigi tried to recall his mother's cooking lessons as detailed as possible, Steve, who lived at the ground floor of the same building was about to pack his bags.
He had made up his mind. He wanted out of this town, and it couldn't go fast enough.
Steve had been assaulted... again! And they took his wallet... AGAIN! It was the second time this month!
He had only moved to this goddamn town because he needed that work at the lunarenergy power-plant. He had told himself that Twilight's reputation was overexaggerated. That it couldn't be that bad. But after living here for a year, he was sure that he would prefer to live anywhere else but in this always dark, weird and unpleasant place. Why he had stayed for a whole year was beyond his comprehension.
Steve closed his suitcase, made sure that he had his airport ticket in his front pocket, opened his door...
... And was met by a tall, blond-haired woman. She stood right in front of his front door. She was dressed in a red leather-jacket with matching pants.
"Hello, Steve." She said. "My name is Eva. May I come in?"
"Sorry." He replied. "I was about to-"
"Thank you, you're a dear. Let me take that for you." Eva grabbed Steve's suitcase and gently pushed him inside his apartment again. And oddly enough, he didn't resist. He just allowed her to step in. "Oh, I think my throat is a bit dry. Steve, you mind getting me a glass of water?" Eva sat herself on the only chair left in the room. Steve had sold most of the furniture.
No, I won't get you a glass of water. Get out!
... was what Steve wanted to say. But for some reason, he felt compelled to be a good host to his uninvited guest. He went to the kitchen, fetched a plastic cup, and filled it with water from the faucet.
"Steve, you are a lamb." Eva smiled as he came with the cup. "I hope you don't mind standing up?"
Steve shook his head. Why he did so baffled him.
"So, Steve..." Eva drank from the cup. "I understand that you intend to move away from Twilight, correct?"
Steve nodded.
"Why would you do such a thing? Don't you like living here? Isn't a city without superheroes so much more peaceful than all those chaotic places where super-fights take place everyday, ruining traffic?"
Steve didn't answer her.
"Oh? What's the matter, dear? Cat took your tongue? Oh, that's right..." Eva giggled as she crumpled the now empty plastic cup and threw it at Steve. "I forgot; I did. let me tall you something, Steve... You don't get to leave. My kind need people like you, you see. Poor buggers who hates their life and can't stop thinking sad thoughts. We feed on you. We feed on your misery and patheticness."
Then she stood up, went to Steve who was unable to move, and took of his jacket and unbuttoned his shirt, baring his over-body. Then, she opened her mouth, revealing her animal-like teeth, and planted them in his neck, sucking his blood. Then, she licked her lips clean, go him dressed and said; "You will forget you ever met me. And you will stay in Twilight for the rest of your life."
Then, she walked out the front door, slammed it, and Steve was free of the trance. He went don on his knees, took out the ticket from his shirt's pocket and tore it apart. Then, he began to cry, not knowing why.
Outside the apartment complex, Leonardo Corduroy passed it as he was on his way to his part-time job at the ZeroZleep convenience store. As he wasn't in a hurry, he watched Twilight Talks directly on his phone.
The host of the show, Don Green, smiled to the camera. Next to him, on a red chair, sat an six-armed woman with short, purple hair. She was dressed in black.
"And for those of you who have just tuned in, I have the pleasure of having Lissandra Gaylord in the studio with me."
"I told you, Don, just call me Gay. My friends do." The six-armed woman chuckled.
"So... Gay... you are possibly the world's most popular Twilightian. You are a world-famous rock-musician, you work as a voice actor for several animated shows, you're spokesperson for the Foundation for Cursed and Enchanted Children, AND you donate thousands of dollars each year to preserve endangered species of spiders. Anything you're NOT doing?"
"I have six arms, Don. I don't have an excuse for NOT multitasking."
"Well, I wouldn't know that. But, despite all these great things you do, there are some who aren't pleased with how you spend your time, am I correct."
"Ah, you know how it is, Don; you grow four extra arms, and then EVERYONE expect you to become a superhero! So I have powers and I don't feel like punching criminals dressed in spandex, SUE ME!"
"Well, I think I can speak on the behalf of everyone in Twilight when I say that you are making a good example for everyone in this town by not becoming a glorified vigilante-"
"Oh, it's not about that. I just don't want to join some fetish club."
"... Excuse me?"
"Come on, Don, we all know it; superheroes are sex-icons."
"Umm... I'm not sure that I-"
"No reason to deny it, Don. Think about it; they wear skin tight clothes, they are all in great shape, and almost ALL of the women have big boobs. Sure, they want to serve society and all that, but they want to do it while showing us how damn sexy they are. If it was just about civic responsibility or something like that, they would join homeland security and wear fatigues. Trust me, at least 20% of the supes are doing it for the sake of sex appeal."
"... Gay, please. There might be kids watching."
"What, kids don't know about sex ap-"
"PLEASE."
"Sorry, sorry. I will be good." She then turned her face toward the camera and said; "Hey kids. Here is an important message from your Aunty Gay. Don't buy drugs. Become a rock star like me, and they give you them for f-"
And then the broadcast was interrupted. On the screen was now a dog who had an electric wire in it's mouth and next to it was a sign that said; "technical difficulties, please stand by."
Leo closed his phone and shoved it in his pocket as he arrived at ZeroZleep. To his surprise, his boss, Manjula Chaudhari, stood at the front door. It appeared that she was waiting for him.
"Hello, Leonardo." She said. Leo tried to read her, but her face was neutral. "Can you come with me? We need to talk."
Leo followed his boss. They went inside the store, passed the counter(where Sasha stood and gave Leo a what-did-you-do look) and went to the storeroom. Chaudhari closed the door. The fifteen year old boy felt like he had just been arrested.
"Young man..." Chaudhari looked at him with her arms crossed. The bindi on the middle-aged woman's forehead seemed like a all-knowing eye that looked right into Leo's soul. "Are you aware that I have security cameras placed around the shop?"
"... well, yeah. I can see all four of them in the shop."
"How about the small ones?"
"Small... ones?"
"Yes, those I place around at the counter as well as where the big cameras can't see."
"... Crap..."
"Leonardo, I have seen you steel chocolate bars, gum, as well as... Well, I am curious, why would you steel makeup and lipstick?"
"... I, ah... Well, I... sometimes like to dress up as a... woman."
"... I see."
"... Ma'am, PLEASE don't call my parents! I know that I am so fired, but please! I will do anything, I will pay it all back I wi-"
"Young man." Chaudhari placed a finger on his lips. "I'm not going to fire you."
"I... what? Aren't you... mad at me?... um, ma'am?"
"Leonardo... I'm not mad at you at all. In fact, I couldn't be happier. I've been waiting for someone like you my whole life."
"What?!"
"Kid, you have quick fingers. I'm impressed! I haven't seen shoplifting like what you did for so many years! You are a natural."
"... I'm completely lost."
"It's simple, really. I want to teach you everything I know."
"... Still lost."
"Young man, have you ever heard about the Moonwalker?"
"... uh.. wasn't that.. yeah, I know her. She was super-villain cat-burglar. No one ever caught her until... 1995, I think? The police caught her, but then she disappeared as they handcuffed her, and no one ever saw or heard from her again."
"It was 1997. But yes... most embarrassing moment of my life."
"Your li... HOLY (/&%¤! THAT WAS YOU?!"
"Language, young man. And yes, that was me."
"Holy... My boss is a.. you are a... this is so awesome!"
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