Viktor Petrov: Origin of an Assassin (a Jennifer Bryan spinoff)

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#1  Edited By mrmonster

Viktor Petrov: Origin of an Assassin (a Jennifer Bryan spinoff)

by mrmonster

Viktor Petrov was just eighteen years old when he first saw combat.

The day he became an adult, the first thing he did was sign up for the Russian army, and proved himself so capable in basic training that he was chosen to become Spetsnaz. After graduating from the Spetsnaz program, he was sent to Syria to see war for the first time.

And before his first tour was even over, he already found himself sitting alone in a Russian military prison.

_____

Viktor was summoned to meet a woman from Moscow.

“Hello Viktor.” The woman said. “I heard about what you did; you risked everything to take out those ISIS camps, even after you were ordered to return to base. And then your squad paid the price when they tried to rescue you.”

“I didn’t need to be rescued.” He said.

“I can see that.” She said. “But your commanding officer feels differently. He wants you to be thrown in prison for this.

“I, however, have different ideas.” she said. “I’m sorry, where are my manners? My name is Anastasia Smirnov, and I’m a recruiter for a classified FSB training program in Siberia, one that’s been around since the days of the KGB.

“I believe you have potential. The fact that you killed twenty-two ISIS insurgents on your own proves that. But you do a dirty, rough job; we’ll teach you how to do clean kills, ones that won’t endanger your comrades.

“You can become the killer that Russia needs you to be.” She explained. “Or you can spend your youth wasting away in prison. The choice is yours.”

______

After seven months of grueling training in Siberia, rigorously training everything from shooting to wilderness survival to the Russian martial art Sambo, he was ready for his first kill.

“The Armenian government has asked us to take out an Azerbaijan politician, Ilham Aliyev.” He opened. “He’s long wanted to invade Armenia, and since Armenia is still one of our closest allies, it’s imperative we help them prevent another round of war. Kill Aliyev, and the FSB will make your past charges disappear.”

“And if I fail?” He asked.

“If you fail, you’ll almost certainly be dead.” She said bluntly. “Your train leaves for Armenia in two hours. I’d advise you to get some sleep during the ride, because I can assure you that it will be your last opportunity for sleep until you come home.”

______

The mission wasn’t going to be easy; he was going to have to assassinate Aliyev at the Azerbaijan legislative house, as he was preparing to give a speech justifying why Azerbaijan needed to invade Armenia as soon as possible.

He entered the building using a stolen janitor’s uniform and a fake job ID. From there, he followed the directions he memorized to get to Aliyev’s office. This was where things were going to get dangerous.

Aliyev was paranoid. He had two guards permanently stationed outside his office, and many more in the building who could be called on a moment’s notice. Viktor had to work quickly.

Viktor started pushing his janitorial cart past the guards, and purposely dropped a bucket so he’d have an excuse to stop. Once he did, he pulled out the PP-19 Vityaz rifle that was concealed inside of it, and shot both of the guards.

He knew the door would be locked with the press of a button, so time was of the essence. He kicked open the door, turned towards Aliyev, and shot him right in the forehead.

Now came the most difficult part; getting out alive.

More guards were running towards the scene, at least ten of them. Viktor threw down a smoke bomb to disorient them, and then began firing through the fog. He killed most of them, but there were still four standing by the time he ran out of ammo.

He didn’t have time to reload, so he drew his knife and charged. In just seconds, he killed one by slashing his throat and disabled another with a powerful sidekick that shattered his ribcage.

One of the final two guards shot him in the back. Viktor’s kevlar stopped the bullet from killing him, but the impact still hurt like Hell. He then reached towards him and grabbed the gun, before doing a backfist that knocked out the other before he could even draw his weapon.

He then used an armlock to break his opponent's arm at the elbow, took his gun, and killed not only him, but the guards he already incapacitated.

One final guard tried to stop him at the exit; Viktor killed him with one shot, while running down stairs no less. From there, he made it to the getaway car, and was taken directly back to the train station.

_______

“You performed flawlessly.” Anastasia remarked upon meeting him again in Moscow. “Young man, I think you’re going to have quite the career with us.”

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@mrmonster:

you killed 22 ISIS insurgents

Spell numbers out. The only time to deviate from this is maybe years (ex. 1980).

and purposefully dropped a bucket so he’d have an excuse to stop.

You can do something purposefully if you do something with a purpose. If you're doing it on purpose, then it would be purposely. Context seems like purposely here.

took his gun, and killed not only him, but the guards he already assassinated.

How do you kill someone you already assassinated? I couldn't work out what you meant here.

Only other thing I have is: when one character is speaking, and it takes multiple paragraphs, you leave the end quote off at the end of the paragraph. It shows the same person is still talking. The only paragraph that gets an end quote is the last one. You wrote:

“I can see that.” She said. “But your commanding officer feels differently. He wants you to be thrown in prison for this.” <---needs to go

“I, however, have different ideas.” she said. “I’m sorry, where are my manners? My name is Anastasia Smirnov, and I’m a recruiter for a classified FSB training program in Siberia, one that’s been around since the days of the KGB.” <---needs to go

“I believe you have potential. The fact that you killed 22 ISIS insurgents on your own proves that. But you do a dirty, rough job; we’ll teach you how to do clean kills, ones that won’t endanger your comrades.” <---needs to go

“You can become the killer that Russia needs you to be.” She explained. “Or you can spend your youth wasting away in prison. The choice is yours.” <--Okay. :)

So it would be:

“I can see that.” She said. “But your commanding officer feels differently. He wants you to be thrown in prison for this.

“I, however, have different ideas.” she said. “I’m sorry, where are my manners? My name is Anastasia Smirnov, and I’m a recruiter for a classified FSB training program in Siberia, one that’s been around since the days of the KGB.

“I believe you have potential. The fact that you killed 22 ISIS insurgents on your own proves that. But you do a dirty, rough job; we’ll teach you how to do clean kills, ones that won’t endanger your comrades.

“You can become the killer that Russia needs you to be.” She explained. “Or you can spend your youth wasting away in prison. The choice is yours.”

I really enjoy these, man. :)

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#4  Edited By Sundown89

Hmm so there are some very dirty hands here. Feels like an interesting genesis point for a villain.

Also will Jennifer address the time the CIA pretended to be vampires to scare Huk rebels off a mountain in the Philippines back in the 50s?

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@cbishop said:

@mrmonster:

you killed 22 ISIS insurgents

Spell numbers out. The only time to deviate from this is maybe years (ex. 1980).

and purposefully dropped a bucket so he’d have an excuse to stop.

You can do something purposefully if you do something with a purpose. If you're doing it on purpose, then it would be purposely. Context seems like purposely here.

took his gun, and killed not only him, but the guards he already assassinated.

How do you kill someone you already assassinated? I couldn't work out what you meant here.

Only other thing I have is: when one character is speaking, and it takes multiple paragraphs, you leave the end quote off at the end of the paragraph. It shows the same person is still talking. The only paragraph that gets an end quote is the last one. You wrote:

“I can see that.” She said. “But your commanding officer feels differently. He wants you to be thrown in prison for this.” <---needs to go

“I, however, have different ideas.” she said. “I’m sorry, where are my manners? My name is Anastasia Smirnov, and I’m a recruiter for a classified FSB training program in Siberia, one that’s been around since the days of the KGB.” <---needs to go

“I believe you have potential. The fact that you killed 22 ISIS insurgents on your own proves that. But you do a dirty, rough job; we’ll teach you how to do clean kills, ones that won’t endanger your comrades.” <---needs to go

“You can become the killer that Russia needs you to be.” She explained. “Or you can spend your youth wasting away in prison. The choice is yours.” <--Okay. :)

So it would be:

“I can see that.” She said. “But your commanding officer feels differently. He wants you to be thrown in prison for this.

“I, however, have different ideas.” she said. “I’m sorry, where are my manners? My name is Anastasia Smirnov, and I’m a recruiter for a classified FSB training program in Siberia, one that’s been around since the days of the KGB.

“I believe you have potential. The fact that you killed 22 ISIS insurgents on your own proves that. But you do a dirty, rough job; we’ll teach you how to do clean kills, ones that won’t endanger your comrades.

“You can become the killer that Russia needs you to be.” She explained. “Or you can spend your youth wasting away in prison. The choice is yours.”

I really enjoy these, man. :)

Thanks. And yes, I'll make those edits.

Hmm so there are some very dirty hands here. Feels like an interesting genesis point for a villain.

Also will Jennifer address the time the CIA pretended to be vampires to scare Huk rebels off a mountain in the Philippines back in the 50s?

Never say never I guess.