World War Deadpool #1
“There was our hero, a lonely silhouette in the rooftops of buildings, admiring the unattractiveness of New York, the Jungle of Stone. Suddenly, the adventurer heard a screech and car crashes, an assault, probably a super powered being trying to panic the city. Our hero goes house by house, jumping roof by roof, until he reaches the place, it was a grey demon, with a horn in his forehead, he looked like an animal, probably Rhino. The hero stopped over the shadows of a top and stared the colossal beast, that couldn’t see him duo to horrible vision, set by his powers, our champion exclaimed:”
“Hey, horned hippopotamus, stop right there, if you wanna fight someone, it shall be me”
“Who’s there? Spider-Lame?”- answered the gray brute.
“Ourhero was offended, the monster told him he was an idiot spid…” “Cut it out, man, we’re going to fight.” “Sorry, I was trying to make this more interesting.” “With all those lies, we were two blocks from here when we heard the noise, not on the roofs, do you want to trick the readers?” “Shhh, the battle will begin, say something idiot.”
“Who am I? How you dare not to know, I’m the one that will kick your ass, I’m the one that rules” – said Deadpool pointing to the sky- “and he, The Writer knows that I do!But now, let’s stop talking and start the best part, the one that I beat you”
“Wilson!!!!! You’ll die really fast, I don’t even care about your healing, it won’t help you when I’m done with you.”
“Oh, hipo, I didn’t knew you were so sensible, but I don’t care.”
He, then, picked both of his katanas on his back and put himself in a fighting position. Rhino started scratching his left foot on the ground, ready to tackle. Both ran to the brawl, Deadpool jumped while Rhino was trying to hit him with his horn and landed in his back and managed to be carried by him, saying:
“Now I feel like Donkey Kong!”
“Shut up, Wilson or I’ll make you swallow your own words with my fists” –menaced Rhino, angrily.
The villain was able to reach Deadpool’s leg and pushed him out of his back, throwing him in a wall. Deadpool recovered fast enough to see Rhino’s next move, being able to avoid it, he took his katana and sliced one of the villain’s legs, making him fall.
“I always knew that you couldn’t do nothing while your legs are hurt” –commented the “hero”, chopping one of the gray brute’s leg of.
“Aargh!!” –yelled Rhino.
The pain was intense and the blood spilling was even more intense, the civilians were terrorized and started scream even more, calling for help, unexpectedly, they stopped and started pointing to the sky. Deadpool looked up the sky as well, Iron Man and Spider-Man had arrived.
“Oh my God, look at what that bastard did to Rhino.” –said Spidey.
“I knew the Sinister Twelve escaped today, so I wanted to help you.” –replied Deadpool
“Help us by killing him?” –answered Stark
“I only cut of his leg, I didn’t killed him.”
“Did you know that in the legs, there is a vein that is one of the most important to our bodies?” –asked Spider-Man
“B-B-But he was attacking civilians!”
“This made you a villain, Wade, we were even considering the possibility that someday you would become a hero and not an assassin and join the Avengers, now that possibility does not exist anymore.” –said Tony
“This made you an enemy to all heroes. Are you happy now?” –completed Spider-Man
“But I didn’t mean to kill him…”
“It doesn’t matter, you already did it.” –answered Iron Man, now you’ll pay
He didn’t even got time to think or apologize, Stark pointed his repulsors at him and shot, luckily he evaded it. Than Spider-Man stuck him on the ground with web, but Wade could easily cut the substance and break free. Iron Man flied in his direction, willing to hit him in the back, but Wilson jumped right in time so both Avengers hit each other, confusing both of them. Than Deadpool came closer to Stark and took both of his repulsors before he could get up.
“What are you doing, Wade? Stealing is also crime.” –said Spidey
Spider-Man went, as quick as he could, in direction of Wade, but he was still puzzled, making him an easy target, Deadpool pointed one repulsor to him and fired it, hitting him right in the head.
“One out, one to go. They would kill me anyway.”
“Wade, what are you doing? They are the Avengers, you can’t just kill them.” “Yes, you can, they menaced you and were going to kill you anyway, but you should be prepared, Hulk and Thor will probably come to avenge them, we need to be prepared”, Wilson turned back, Iron Man was getting up, “That’s our chance, kill him!”, Deadpool took one of his katanas and moved quickly to Tony, hitting him with the sword right in the electronic hearth he had, the armor shut down and he fell to the ground, the debris of the explosion were coming to his hearth really fast. Deadpool took of his mask and said:
“A man in with an electronic hearth, take it away, what are you?” –than he completed- “You are dead.”
The assassin turned his back to the public, that was terrified with their heroes deaths. He dropped the repulsors and thought to himself “The Avengers always kept us from doing the right thing, villain extermination and, when we help them, what do we get? The notice that we are villains and that we should die, from now on, nobody will escape from you, show our rage to the people, show how capable we are, show them that their heroes won’t be there to save them, but you will. From now on, the Avengers are the enemies and the targets and we are the hand of justice and nobody escapes from justice”
“Will this continue second voice?”“Of course it’ll”