Part 1: http://comicvine.gamespot.com/forums/fan-fic-8/u-n-x7-part-1-1550198/
Part 2: http://comicvine.gamespot.com/forums/fan-fic-8/u-n-x7-part-2-1550825/#7
Most people think of the United Nations as a toothless tiger, a novel idea. U.N X7 was formed as the last act of outgoing Secretary-General Kofi Annan in 2006 as a counterpoint to the US’s almost underhanded ways of manipulating the UN.
A small, secret, multinational team answering to the Secretary-General operating out of Geneva was formed. These are there stories…
*
*
“Bit weird you want a threesome in the middle of a war zone?” replied Jessie, known to her parents and the Canadian Security Intelligence Service as Lauren Foxberg, as she unzipped her suit. “But you only live once.”
Lisa’s puzzled expression matched Kelly’s as Zack begun to undress. “We need these guys to have their attention and their eyes on us. Being naked will get their attention. Which is when we hit them with the Dazzler.”
Kelly shrugged and stripped off. “Looks like you’re on shot, Lisa.”
The French operative nodded. “And if it all goes wrong at least you won’t get blood on your uniforms.”
Zack threw the PHASR, or Personal Halting and Stimulation Response rifle, to Lisa. “We distract them…”
“With your Chatte and Arbre show,” she giggled checking the weapon.
“You blind them, then call in for extraction.”
“What do you want me to do?” asked Screech over the comms.
__
{I seek to bring death to the West!} Slater said.
{How did you get here?”} barked the nearest Sudani Liberation Front member.
{He speaks funny. Like an American.}
Slater gulped. “Any time guys,” he whispered through his comms. {No, not American. English. I am English.}
Another Sudani Liberation Front member grabbed his hair and threw his head back. {Let us see if he really knows al-Qurʾān or is Western dog! The Mother of Believers?}
{Blessed is Sawda bint Zamʿa} Slater stated. {Second wife of the Prophet. Glory to Allah!}
“Slater, best close your eyes, and get ready to hit the deck” said Lisa.
“HEY!”
The group turned to the noise to see two naked women and a naked man dancing and shaking their arms.
{What is that?} asked Hassan as he pointed them out to his brother Mohamed.
Za-kow! Za-kow! Za-kow!
Blasts of light ripped across the landscape hitting the Sundani Liberation Front in the face, the instensity so bright it short circuited the optic nerve. They screamed and fired wildly but only managed to either hit air of each other in their sudden blindness. Mohamed grabbed his blinded brother and ran in the other direction only to be knocked to the ground by Screech, who slammed the jeep into them.
“Did Slater get fingered?” Screech asked as he stood up on the drivers seat. “And woo hoo, get a load of you …”
Za-kow!
__
Secretary-General of the United Nations, Klaus Ekéus, paused as he looked at his watch as a text message ran across it. [The bell has been saved]
“Everything alright?” asked John Kerry, the US Secretary of State, whose mouth was full of onion cake.
“Just my personal pedometer telling me I am four thousand steps short of my daily target,” Ekéus expertly lied. “How is your zwiebelkuchen?”
“Amazing!” Kerry replied, specks and clumps of food jumping from his lips.
“Yes,” Ekéus replied at his guest’s table manners. “Yes it is.”
__
“You shot me in the face!” roared Screech as he lay in the troop tansport that was flying the U.N.X 7 team back from Chad. His eyes had iced bandages over.
“Think of it as karma,” Lisa said from the other side of the transport. “For all the horrible, mean things you do and say. And actually you were told to stay put.”
“Those sand people would’ve escaped if I hadn’t!” he yelled slamming his fist accidentally into the side of the plane. “Ah F$#@!”
__
Slater, also known as Tareq Traoré, paced back and forth in the bomb bay of the plane. {At this point in time, you are both dead. Whoever tells me what I need to know will get to keep their life. So Hassan? Mohamed? Who is going to talk?}
“Allahu Akbar!” Hassan screamed as he charged forward, only to be halted by the belly chain connected to his feet, and he smashed into the ground.
__
“You look pretty good naked,” Jessie smiled at Zack.
“I’m guessing you do to,” Zack replied.
“That was a terrible compliment,” Jessie huffed.
“Honestly, I was focused on our objective. Maybe when we hit terra firma I could get a proper look?”
__
The Netherlands Embassy in Cairo
Mr Belvedere looked at the team, all freshened up and rested from their mission to Chad. “Good work. Why the shades, Screech?”
Screech shrugged and glanced at Lisa. “I look cool.”
“You have a three day leave pass before we’re sending you to Moldova in the Baltics. The mission generator has chosen a new show and codenames for us.” Mr Belvedere said. “When we next speak, I will be Mr Cunningham. Have a Happy three days. ”
“If I’m not Fonzie, I am going to punch you in the %$#k!” Screech swore.
To be continued eventually...
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