so Jake is a vampire hunter that is also a vampire?"
Would an arrow to the head kill a vampire? No
An No he isnt a Vampire hunter, why would he drain a vampire."
oh, well I was sort of having trouble following the post, lack of sleep may have had something to do with it...I thought he used a stake through her heart :P
so Jake is a vampire hunter that is also a vampire?"
Would an arrow to the head kill a vampire? No
An No he isnt a Vampire hunter, why would he drain a vampire."
oh, well I was sort of having trouble following the post, lack of sleep may have had something to do with it...I thought he used a stake through her heart :P"
"lol, yeah, he's the one who supported me into doing my fan-fics :D
I'm so excited to do one with him soon!!
and this is a good fan-fic on your part and his Lady Red, but I wouldn't call it your first xP your bio, and practically any story you've ever written is a fan-fic which might I add are also good"
Its Mistress Red Az, and yeah i suppose.. though its my firs offical fan fic
"lol, yeah, he's the one who supported me into doing my fan-fics :D
I'm so excited to do one with him soon!!
and this is a good fan-fic on your part and his Lady Red, but I wouldn't call it your first xP your bio, and practically any story you've ever written is a fan-fic which might I add are also good"
Its Mistress Red Az, and yeah i suppose.. though its my firs offical fan fic"
sorry -_- MR, it just always feels akward to call someone Mistress, it makes you think of...well, you know *moves on from topic*
maybe if you get enough confidence and enjoy it enough you'll make one yourself someday, I'd love to read it if you do :D"
it was nice and dark with the lovely twisted imagination that i know it Redheads lol
it's got a unique layout and thats what threw me at first with the 'bold and italic' being used for speech while normal text for actions, that did throw me a bit as i am so used to a standard writing layout.
one thing i will advise, just to make writing easier for both DC and MR... use this template as a standard for paragraphs...
speech -> action -> description or emotion
you need all three for a good paragraph, that's how a lot of writers do it, Final Arrow might be able to give you some better hints but using those three for paragraphs will give you a nice flowing style and allow you for plenty of action in your story.
it was nice and dark with the lovely twisted imagination that i know it Redheads lol
it's got a unique layout and thats what threw me at first with the 'bold and italic' being used for speech while normal text for actions, that did throw me a bit as i am so used to a standard writing layout.
one thing i will advise, just to make writing easier for both DC and MR... use this template as a standard for paragraphs...
speech -> action -> description or emotion
you need all three for a good paragraph, that's how a lot of writers do it, Final Arrow might be able to give you some better hints but using those three for paragraphs will give you a nice flowing style and allow you for plenty of action in your story.
it was nice and dark with the lovely twisted imagination that i know it Redheads lol
it's got a unique layout and thats what threw me at first with the 'bold and italic' being used for speech while normal text for actions, that did throw me a bit as i am so used to a standard writing layout.
one thing i will advise, just to make writing easier for both DC and MR... use this template as a standard for paragraphs...
speech -> action -> description or emotion
you need all three for a good paragraph, that's how a lot of writers do it, Final Arrow might be able to give you some better hints but using those three for paragraphs will give you a nice flowing style and allow you for plenty of action in your story.
the way DC layed out the first bit of text was like this...
Now the ones that scream mmmm Licking his lips with the thought those are the ones you keep your eye out. Their bodies almost tell you exactly what they will do, whether their scream will be heard or just a whimper that only you hear.
"So when do we get him? We know hes down here, Why havent we made the first strike?"
Jakes head tilts to the side as he looks down from the ceiling of the subway at a group of three
now, this is fine for reading, don't get me wrong, it's just a little confusing as the speech doesn't have any tags or emotes attached to it.
to make it easier for reading, this is the way i'd write it...
Jake smirked as he watched the three, Licking his lips he let the thought of the blood that was currently flowing through their veins, it wouldn't be long until it was burning down his throat and quenching the hunger that burned through his body.
"Those are the ones you keep your eye out for. Their bodies almost tell you exactly what they will do, whether their scream will be heard or just a whimper that only you hear." Jake explained in a soft voice as he leaned against the wall, his face hidden by the shadows as a passing light glinted off the preternatural white of his eyes.
"So when do we get him? We know hes down here, Why havent we made the first strike?" Chaz asked in a soft voice, her nervous nature betraying her true age as she fidgeted in the comforting darkness and waited for the instruction from the elder that was watching her carefully.
Jake tilted his head to the side in thought as he stared down from the ceiling where they were hidden, the dark shadows of the subway were the perfect camoflage for the pair of killers as they both stared down at their prey, the three 'children' that they had been following, stalking, hunting. Soon the wait would be over, the prey would soon be theirs and they would feast.
it's a basic tennent, speech always goes first on a paragraph, then a tag to explain who said it, try and avoid the word said though, there are so many other more versatile words that can be used that also explain a bit about the speakers motivation, attitute or emotions. After the tag you either need an action or an emotion, either of those will finish off the paragraph perfectly and are a nice way to lead into the next paragraph of speech or action.
"not really, you and DC have very similar writing styles...
wether this was because he posted first and you just followed his format i don't know, but the comments i made go for both chapters
M"
sweet thanks, i think i have watched.. DC and Arrow and flow that way but yeah my writing is yet to find its true voice so i tend to flow from others writing
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