The Rangers of Freedom: Chapter 1 'Circling The Wagons'

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16339

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#1  Edited By batkevin74

Continued from: http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic/8/the-rangers-of-freedom-origins-introductions/719823/

All characters in this work are public domain, owned by everyone & nobody at the same time. The story is mine, that's it. Rated MA to be sure. did the picture of Tiger Man (I did edit off the original symbol on his chest btw)

New York

The Cobra Kid crouched on the rooftop looking down at the six men unloading boxes from a truck. Cartons of cigarettes were never going to arrive at their destination. The kid checked his bungee line again before moving to the ledge, peering down on them again. He pulled out his crowbar, the word ‘venom’ carved into it and smeared with blood from previous missions. Slowly, almost casually he walked out into the air; and plunged towards the ground. The bungee cord went tight and The Cobra Kid unloaded on the nearest thug before rocketing back up, flipping off the cord and landing flat on the roof of the truck.

“What the #@%! was that?”

“Nick’s bleedin’, geez, his head’s all smashed up!”

“What happened?”

“I happened!” growled The Cobra Kid as he leapt off the truck, hitting the closest man in the throat with a flying kick. This was followed by a nasty clubbing of his knee, the sick sound of metal on bone.

“Kill this $#%#!”

The Cobra Kid smiled as they started to draw guns. He threw his crowbar at the thug on the left, catching him square in the forehead and knocking him out cold. The remaining thugs looked at his three downed friends and that this blue and green clad man was responsible; they turned tail and ran in opposite directions.

“Bastards!” The Cobra Kid gave chase, scooping up his weapon as he chased after the one who went left. He took a quick shot with his phone at the man fleeing to the right as he poured on the speed after the slowing thug.

“I give man!” panted the thug as he stopped, hunched over, trying to catch his breath.

The Cobra Kid slammed the crowbar across the back of his knees, sending the man into a partial somersault and crashing onto the ground “Do you think this is a game?” snarled the Cobra Kid as he drove his knee across the man’s throat “Well do you?” The man’s sweaty face started to turn purple, The Cobra Kid stood up and slammed his boot into his kidney as he pulled some cable ties from his belt and trussed the man up like a turkey

“Stay!”

No Caption Provided

The Cobra Kid turned to see a blonde man in a white cape holding a struggling thug by the ear. The blonde man smiled broadly. “I believe this is yours” he said

“...Thanks” said The Cobra Kid suspiciously as he gripped his crowbar tighter.

“You can have him, provided you don’t hit him with your crowbar” said Eternal Man hesitantly. The Cobra Kid lowered his weapon and the thug was released. The Cobra Kid shot forward and smashed his elbow into the man’s teeth, cracking calcium and sending teeth and blood across the alley. Eternal Man’s jaw dropped.

The Cobra Kid shrugged “What?”

“I was coming to ask you to join a group I’m forming,” Eternal Man scratched his head “But after seeing that…”

“I’m doing my job!” snapped the kid as he dragged the man to a lamppost and cable tied him to it “Besides, I work better solo”

“I may have some useful information…”

“What? That these guys are working for Jaspar Crow, I know that? Everyone knows it! Proving it is the…”

“Dr Diabole” said Eternal Man. The Cobra Kid stopped cold. He looked over at Eternal Man, grabbed his crowbar and marched over towards him.

“What did you say?”

“I have information about Dr Diabole.” Eternal Man looked straight into the young man’s eyes “If you’re willing to talk and possibly expanding your horizons,” Eternal Man handed over a white business card “Then give me a call. Otherwise I’ll leave you to your overly violent vigilantism”

Eternal Man turned and calmly walked away. The Cobra Kid looked down at the card, a tear leaking from his eye as thoughts of his brother came flooding back.

North Carolina

“Mom? Dad?” Peggy Shane walked through her parents house “Anybody home?” She saw the note pinned to the fridge “Peggy, gone to the Ketchum’s house. If you do go out, please be careful. Love Mom & Dad” She smiled as she poured herself a glass of milk and turned on the television.

“…re rages from the apartment block in Washington DC. Fire crews are on scene but this, Chuck, looks to be a tragedy”

Peggy looked at the images on the tv and shook her head. “Hang on folks” she said as she put down her milk, pulled out the rough hewn gold heart that was around her neck and stepped out into the backyard.

“Heart of Gold!” Peggy exploded in bright golden light and was transformed into Golden Girl. She smiled, her muscles rippled with the strength of a thousand Aztecs and she leapt up a quarter mile into the air towards the nation’s capital. Two hundred and two steps later, Golden Girl landed beside the fire truck as it pumped water onto the burning high rise apartment block. She tapped the Fire Chief on the shoulder “Excuse me sir, how can I help?”

“Golden Girl!”

“At your service”

“There’s people trapped up on the fifty second floor. Smokes too thick for the chopper!” he yelled over the sound of the sirens as he wiped his brow “If…” He trailed off as she leapt easily up to the fifty second floor and crashed through the window.

**

Golden Girl sat on the back of the ambulance, wrapped in a blanket “I’m fine!” she protested as she pulled off the oxygen mask.

The Fire Chief pushed the oxygen mask back into its proper place “You may be a super hero missy, but you went into that inferno twelve times, rescued thirty-five people who probably would’ve died and took in copious amounts of smoke, ash and good knows what else, you still breath like the rest of us! Mask stays on”

“Yes sir” she replied quietly “Any idea who would do something like this?”

“My guess would be the Torcher” They both looked up to see a handsome blonde man in a white cape standing beside the ambulance. He smiled at both of them, a genuine broad smile. He extended his hand to the chief

“Eternal Man, sorry I couldn’t get here any quicker chief. Is there anything I can do?”

“Um no” The Fire Chief was taken aback ‘We got it under control, thanks to Golden Girl”

Eternal Man extended his hand to her “You’re amazing!”

“Thanks…no big deal”

“No Golden Girl, you’re a big deal! When you’re free, please give me a call. I could use someone of your talents” He handed her a small white business card.

Golden Girl looked a tad confused as she looked down at the card “Okay” She looked up and he was gone “Where’d he go?”

Yonkers Raceway

Robert Benton sat in his corporate box sipping champagne opposite George Benson, the ‘legitimate business man’ known behind his back as Fish Face. Several large men, well shaved apes in designer suits, stood around the room.

“My answer is still no Mr Benson,” said Robert “I will not be selling Tang to you or anyone”

“Nobody tells me no!” seethed George through his misshapen teeth “You’re gonna sell me that wonder horse!”

“No, no I’m not” said Robert smiling

“Then,” George snapped his fingers and the monkey-like men drew pistols “You’re just gonna give him to me! You get me?”

“Whoa!” Robert quickly stood up and backed up, hands in the air “Let’s not get carried away here”

No Caption Provided

“Let’s go get that horse!” snarled George as he sculled his champagne. Suddenley the box went dark “What’s going on?”

“You should’ve listened to Mr Benton!” the voice was a low rumble, seemingly coming from all around “Now you have to deal with me”

“One of you idiots get the lights!” barked George. There were sounds of a struggle, several gunshots and breaking glass. The lights came back on as a man in a stylized tiger costume grabbed George by the collar and yanked him off his feet.

“Welcome to my jungle Fish Face!”

“T-tiger man!” squealed George

“I thought I told you to leave town?” Tiger Man looked him up and down “Seems I’ll have to teach you a proper lesson!”

The lights went off as George Benson screamed.

**

Scarsdale

Robert Benton drove up the long driveway to his manor in his Lamborghini to see a man standing in his way. He hammered the horn and yelled “Hey buddy! This is private property”

“I know, Tiger Man”

No Caption Provided

Robert furrowed his brow and shut off the engine, slowly getting out of the car, his feline senses on high alert as the headlights bathed the man “You lost or drunk?”

“No Tiger Man,” replied the handsome blonde man in the white cape “I’ve come to ask for your help”

“Look buddy,” Robert got up in his face “Tiger Man is an urban legend like chupacabra or the sasquatch. Now you best get out of here before I call the cops!”

The man smiled a warm smile “I’m not here to out you Robert; I’m here to ask for your help. But it seems this is a bad time”

“How do you know my name?”

“You’re one of the richest men in America Robert, your face was on the cover of Principia this week with a spread about your house…you’re a public figure!” said the man “And not that subtle. It took me twenty four hours to work out you and Tiger Man were the same person”

“Who are you?” snarled Robert grabbing him by the forearms

“I’m Eternal Man” he replied “And I come with a proposition. Do you want me to tell you here or inside your dining hall that can seat eighty six people?”

**

Avatar image for razzatazz
RazzaTazz

11948

Forum Posts

234582

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 1887

User Lists: 79

#2  Edited By RazzaTazz
@batkevin74: Very nice, I like the names, kind of old-school comic book names.
Avatar image for blackreaper
BlackReaper

601

Forum Posts

162

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#3  Edited By BlackReaper

It's different, but really good. I couldn't comment on the introduction because I have a posting limit.

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16339

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#4  Edited By batkevin74

@RazzaTazz: Thanks. They're all from the 30's and 40's even Tang the Wonder Horse is

@BlackReaper: No worries man, glad you liked it

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16339

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#5  Edited By batkevin74

If you peoples get a chance, cast an eye over this for me. Thanks

Avatar image for 4donkeyjohnson
4donkeyjohnson

2063

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#6  Edited By 4donkeyjohnson

@batkevin74: Very good. You're setting up quite an interesting world here

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16339

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#7  Edited By batkevin74

@4donkeyjohnson: Thanks!

if you get a chance, have a look at this please

Avatar image for evilvegeta74
evilvegeta74

4674

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#8  Edited By evilvegeta74

@batkevin74: I like this! Multiple introductions to characters, pretty cool.

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16339

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#9  Edited By batkevin74

@evilvegeta74: Thanks man

Avatar image for youngjustice
YoungJustice

7717

Forum Posts

204

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 1

#10  Edited By YoungJustice  Online

Awesome.

I could see this as an actual; comic.

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16339

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#11  Edited By batkevin74

@YoungJustice said:

Awesome.

I could see this as an actual; comic.

Why thank you, that's what I'd also like :) Let's hope

Avatar image for mrdecepticonleader
mrdecepticonleader

19694

Forum Posts

2501

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 3

Cool

So much interesting works in the fan fic forum.

Avatar image for joshmightbe
joshmightbe

27561

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 13

#13  Edited By joshmightbe

Cool, is it bad that Cobra Kid sounds like a cowboy name to me?

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16339

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#14  Edited By batkevin74

@joshmightbe: He was invented in the 1940's, sidekick to the Black Cobra, but yeah it's cowboy-ish. I am planning on making that whole thing into a joke in the upcoming chapters, which the bad guys arn't going to find that funny

@mrdecepticonleader: Oh yeah! You should stop by more often, we got lots of stuff to read. We're like a library but cooler :)

Avatar image for mrdecepticonleader
mrdecepticonleader

19694

Forum Posts

2501

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 3

@batkevin74: Ha ha that's a good way of describing this forum.

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16339

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#16  Edited By batkevin74
No Caption Provided

Bumped

Avatar image for wildvine
wildvine

15170

Forum Posts

2609

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 3

User Lists: 50

#17  Edited By wildvine

I like it. But we're still pretty much in the intro stage. When we get the 'Assemble' story?

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16339

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#18  Edited By batkevin74
Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16339

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#19  Edited By batkevin74

Hey if you get a chance/time too (as I know you're under the covers reading Demon Knight) cast a discerning eye over this for me

No Caption Provided
Avatar image for joygirl
Joygirl

21037

Forum Posts

482

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 43

#20  Edited By Joygirl

I don't trust Eternal Man. He seems too squeaky clean... and too knowledgeable. He is up to something.

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16339

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#21  Edited By batkevin74

@Joygirl said:

I don't trust Eternal Man. He seems too squeaky clean... and too knowledgeable. He is up to something.

Love a healthy bit of skepticism :)

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16339

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

Avatar image for cbishop
cbishop

16711

Forum Posts

361212

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 75

User Lists: 1091

@batkevin74: Yeah, I saw this last night, but I haven't had the chance to read it yet. I will though. :)

Avatar image for 4donkeyjohnson
4donkeyjohnson

2063

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

@batkevin74:

Here's another example my friend. Excellent set up, excellent new-ish characters and then......(crickets, tumble weeds) nothing. You write well but your lack of finishes and completion rate is well annoying. I don't mean to dig but hopefully you see my point.

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16339

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#25  Edited By batkevin74

Ancient history bump

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16339

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

Historical bump

Avatar image for ficopedia
FicOPedia

2587

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 226

@cbishop said:

@batkevin74: Yeah, I saw this last night, but I haven't had the chance to read it yet. I will though. :)

Annnnnd 2 years, 4 months later, I am a man of my word! :} Great stuff. I keep toying with the idea of plundering the Public Domain names, but so far the only one I've used is Black Terror, and that in name only- bears no resemblance to the original, but it worked for a character I had.

Avatar image for cbishop
cbishop

16711

Forum Posts

361212

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 75

User Lists: 1091

@batkevin74: Nearly 6,500 views? On Public Domain characters?! This is seriously awesome.

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16339

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

@cbishop said:

@batkevin74: Nearly 6,500 views? On Public Domain characters?! This is seriously awesome.

I know, if I knew the formula to get that many views consistently I'd make one of those buzzfeed style ads and sell it to saps! :)

I keep meaning to come back here and at least finish a story arc, I feel the Green Giant from here needs some room to grow both literally and metaphorically

Avatar image for cbishop
cbishop

16711

Forum Posts

361212

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 75

User Lists: 1091

Ho, ho, ho...
Ho, ho, ho...

@batkevin74: I can't help chuckling every time I see that character, because...

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16339

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

Avatar image for cbishop
cbishop

16711

Forum Posts

361212

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 75

User Lists: 1091

#32  Edited By cbishop
Sprout
Sprout

@batkevin74: No, it's a brand of canned vegetables (I feel like we've done this before, long time ago [oh well]). The commercials used to be cartoons, and at the end, the Green Giant would be straddling the valley of the GG farm, and in a very deep voice, he'd sing, "Ho-ho-hooo..." And a jingle chorus would finish, "Green Giant!"

The Giant's voice was so deep and booming for that ending that it would actually scare kids sometimes, so y'know, whiney baby parents who didn't want to have to take the time to comfort their kids (orrr maybe wanted to protect their kids from being frightened to begin with- you decide) complained. This was way before the Internet, so this required letters and calls. In that era, one voiced customer opinion equalled ten thousand unvoiced, soooo GG silenced the Green Giant's bellow in favor of a little green squirt named Sprout- basically a cartoon kid that real kids could laugh at. Sprout kind of edged the Giant out of his own brand name, but I think the "Ho-ho-ho" came back eventually... or maybe it never quite left, but Sprout was enough to placate scaredy-cat kids and the whiney parents that spawned them. :)

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16339

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

Bumped

Avatar image for blueecho
BlueEcho

1154

Forum Posts

18020

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 92

User Lists: 13

@batkevin74: This is a pretty cool story, you should get some more of them going.

I think that a big problem with a lot of the Golden Age Public Domain character is that they don't have the same characterization and back story that a lot of modern characters do, and what is lacking is stories like these that make them feel more full. I am pretty sure that a lot of PD character could be repurposed if people actually wanted to do so.

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16339

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

@blueecho: Yeah I should...must get off my large ample butt :)

Also HOW is this creeping up to 8000 VIEWS?!?!?? That's amazing.

Avatar image for cbishop
cbishop

16711

Forum Posts

361212

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 75

User Lists: 1091

@batkevin74: Holy crud, dude! Whoever your fan is, I want to borrow them for awhile! Either someone is hitting you with an autoclicker thing, or someone has linked you to the right group of readers. These views are outstanding! And this one? On a public domain reinvention? Just...wow. Maybe someone is (justifiably) watching your writing? A scout-type person, I mean? Step it up, man! :)

Avatar image for impurestcheese
ImpurestCheese

12542

Forum Posts

2824

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 14

@cbishop: Yeah know how you feel, some people get all the luck.

Avatar image for cbishop
cbishop

16711

Forum Posts

361212

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 75

User Lists: 1091

@impurestcheese: I'm not really envious of him, Imp'. Just amazed. I'm really surprised that you, Joshmightbe and TommytheHitman haven't been hit with those kinds of views.

Avatar image for impurestcheese
ImpurestCheese

12542

Forum Posts

2824

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 14

@cbishop: I'm too specalised in my writing to get this kind of attention. Not sure about the others TBH, my work isn't that great compared to theirs.