Well, it is January 20th, and after a rather rocky start to the new year, which combines having a case of the flu in the first week of the year, and then several slow weeks at work, combined with indulging in some old and new game titles, I managed to get a new chapter together in my adaptation of this rather mature minded game, (with rather immature thoughts running through it). In this chapter, Larry managed to succeed in his one goal. Note that with this particular title, I tend to indulge in certain formatting options that aren't easily available on FanFic and AO3. Regardless, enjoy this posting, as I couldn't keep myself from snickering to myself when I thought up this chapter.
Again, in due time, this fic will get an updated look to it. I just need to figure out how it will look.
|General LSL Disclaimer|
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Leisure Suit Larry, or any of the characters from the franchise. I do not fully know how everyone relates to one another, and this work is complete fiction. I am not making any profit on this publication, and do this mainly out of a love for the games. Also, the fourth wall will get demolished, and it's repair cost will be all on you.
The Modern Day Casanova
|First Chapter||Let's Meet The Man|
|Chapter 2||Lost Wages|
|Chapter 3||Newbie at the Bar Scene|
|Chapter 4||Bathrooms and Back Rooms|
|Chapter 5||The Realm of Typhoid Va-Jay-Jay|
|Chapter 6||The American Institution|
|Previous Chapter||The Slightly Safer Street of Lost Wages|
Chapter 8: The First Conquest
As the cab sped through the streets of Lost Wages, an old adage came to Larry’s mind. It was the old war time phrase ‘There are no atheists in foxholes.’ The truth in this statement, since any person in a situation such as war would want a higher power watching over them. Often, soldiers are known to pray that they get through the war alive, and back homes to their families. Larry was saying a few prayers as the cab headed to its destination. Larry prayed that it would make it safely, so he wouldn’t face a fate worse than death; dying a virgin.
Now, I know all of you reading this is wondering how dying a virgin is a fate worse than death. When one considers the amount of cultures in the history of the world that did human sacrifices, and the belief that they prefer sacrificing virgins, and couple that with the tragedy of an infant’s death, it is a very sad thing. I could mix religion into this, reminding that some of the faiths state that the big power said, “Go forth and multiply,” furthering the tragedy of the death of a virgin. Now, I remind you that the virgin in question at this point was Larry, and it is possible that his death would be a public service.
Still, it seemed that Larry had managed to pray just hard enough, or that maybe the supreme being decided that the people of Lost Wages needed punishment, because the cab pulled up outside of Lefty’s. Larry quickly paid the cabbie, and got out. He looked up at the building, glancing up at the one window of the room Typhoid Va-Jay-Jay was in. Larry knew his primary reason to coming to Lost Wages was going to be complete. (This should be noted as one of the costliest ways to lose ones virginity in the world. As the cab fees to go to Lost Wages would have been in triple digits, if he was lucky.)
Larry made his way into the bar, but instead of heading to the naugahyde door, he went back to the rest room. He was determined to at least make sure he was presentable (by his standards), and decided to wash his face, and freshen his breath. He was even tempted to use the facilities, but he didn’t think that would hinder his performance (showing how little he knew about the subject). He then checked his pockets, to make sure he didn’t lose his lubber.
Once he was sure he had everything, and freshened his breath with his breath spray, he left the bathroom, and paused. It wasn’t because he was scared (even though he was scared like any virgin when it came to what he was about to do), but because he spotted something he hadn’t seen before. It was a rose in a small vase. It seemed so beautiful, and out of place, that Larry knew he had to claim it. While it might be too good for the working girl, he was sure he’d find a woman who’d love it.
As he grabbed it, and headed out of the room, the drunk who was in the room, looked up, and then pulled out a special walkie-talkie. While he was currently down on his luck, he was aiding a special group of criminals operating in Lost Wages, that is until another unfortunate ended up broke in Lefty’s, and got kicked out. All he said into it was, “Yesssshh, he jusssht took the rosssshe.” Larry was unaware that he had been marked as the current victim for that groups con.
Larry, by this time, knocked on the naugahyde door, and waited for a moment. He was about to knock again, when he finally heard a grumble, and the pimp came over and asked, “What’s the damn password? Answer quick because I need to get back to the show.”
Larry didn’t hesitate, but as he uttered the password again, he inwardly thanked that the pimp was too obsessed with the television. The door flew open, and as Larry stepped through, he saw the pimp running back to the television. For a moment, Larry wanted to linger, and even catch a glimpse of what was happening, but didn’t. He figured that if he had, the pimp would remember that Larry hadn’t paid in the first place. (In all honesty, the pimp might not have noticed him as the current movie on was the one that contained the record breaking scene that involved the most performers, and what ended up being the messiest set, and that was before the scene started.)
As luck would have it, Typhoid Va-Jay-Jay was still laying on the bed, chewing her gum. When she saw Larry, she smiled, and said, “You got back just in time. I was going to tell him to charge you again when you got back.” He circled around the bed as she continued. “Since this is going to be your first time, that means it just going to be plain vanilla, nothing fancy. Got that?”
Larry nodded as he started to slip out of his leisure suit. “Of course. And how long will I have before I…” While the question might seem rude in the sense of being with someone you love, Larry was more worried about exhausting his funds before he got more. (Which will soon be revealed to be hardly any concern at all.)
Once Larry was out of his clothes, it was obvious how ready he was for this as he put on his protective. It caused a slight smile from Typhoid Va-Jay-Jay as she responded. “Don’t worry. The virgin offer covers until you go off.” In her experience, the combination of nerves and inexperience, when combined with her own skills, usually meant that virgins would last a significant amount of time to cover the cost of an hour.
When Larry was ready, he literally jumped into the bed. Now, there are three ways to describe what happened during that moment. Those are as what actually happened, the events from Larry’s point of view, and the events from Typhoid Va-Jay-Jay’s point of view. I shall present these in that order, so this first description is for those readers who may be reading this one handed.
Once Larry jumped onto the bed, (and so I don’t get any details that were provided about their naked bodies wrong), imagine a large box covering them, with the word censored stenciled on it. The box started to contract and expanded on its smaller side, like someone was pushing down on it, and it sprung back up. Eventually, it turns upside down, so you would have to read it proper while standing on your head. It thus did the same as when it was right side up, as if the two figured switched position. It then righted itself, before finally disappearing, showing Larry back at the side of the bed, Typhoid Va-Jay-Jay lying under the sheet, and engaging in an after moment cigarette (which given the preferred vices out there, is one of the less dangerous vices out there). (Also, for those immature readers who are still reading this, I BET YOU WERE EXPECTING THIS TO BE VERY DETAILED. SORRY, BUT YOU RUINED THIS FOR THOSE READING THIS WITH ONE HAND DOWN THEIR PANTS!)
Now, from Larry’s point of view, he presented it in the following way. He stated that the working girl was surprised by his expertise when it came to sexual encounters. He said she proclaimed him a natural, and hardly believed he was a virgin. He said the encounter lasted for what had to be an hour, maybe two, as he demonstrated his prowess in bed. He even claimed that she had to have had at least two climaxes by the time he was done.
Typhoid Va-Jay-Jay’s account of things differ greatly from Larry’s account. According to her, the whole encounter lasted less than two minutes. His inexperience was evident, even though he was physically ready where it counted. The whole encounter didn’t even last a minute before he, to use politer words than she used, popped his cork. Given her profession, as well as her total experience, I would give more credit to her account of what happened than to Larry‘s account.
Regardless of the accounts, Larry quickly got dressed in his leisure suit, and also carefully removed the spent lubber (there has been a few reports of mishaps involving snapbacks of lubbers. The pain was legendary. One yelp from a snapback that happened in Austin, Texas was heard in Pierre, South Dakota), and disposing it promptly since there have been reports of unscrupulous people using the contents of a spent lubber to their advantage (while using the contents of Larry‘s spent lubber would be proof of insanity.)
Larry thought again about going back down the steps, but since he hadn‘t paid in the first place, he didn‘t think it was wise. As he pondered that, he heard the working girl say, “Listen. Since it was your first time, go ahead and take that box of chocolates.” It was a two-fold gesture on her part, since she didn‘t want them since they were given by Julius Bigg for taking care of one of his risk taking employees, and it would make up for the waste of money she thought Larry had spent.
Larry nodded in gratitude, especially as he saw how high caliber the chocolate were. With the ring and rose he found earlier, he was certain he could woo a woman with them. Given that he had now enjoyed relations with a woman, he wanted something more. He wanted those relations to have more meaning to them. He pocketed the chocolate, thanked the working girl, and with as much dignity as he could manage, climbed out the window again.
Having made his speedy retreat, he continued his dignified departure by again diving in the dumpster. This time round, while Larry didn‘t see it, several rats held up signs ranking his fall with the following scores: 8.7, 9.0, 8.5, 8.0. and a 3.0 from the Russian rat. (I personally would have only given Larry a 3.0). Larry then got out of the dumpster, and again checked his funds. He was certain he had enough for one trip, and maybe one small item with a few bucks left over. He needed to increase his funds.
Larry recalled one place the one cabbie had mentioned, and knew where he had to go. He needed to go to the casino, certain that certain types of games would be there. If he was right, (and in this case, he was), there would games like Video Poker and Video Blackjack there, and being in the computer programming profession, he was also in the right circles to know certain tricks.
Larry quickly made his way to the curb, now a bit emboldened after his time with Typhoid Va-Jay-Jay, (and in this case, rightfully so for surviving not knowing the real risks), hailed another cab. In no time, the cab pulled up, and as he got in, Larry uttered the phrase that has been the doom of many naïve individuals. “Take me to the casino. It‘s time to get rack in the dough.”
|Next Chapter||Larry's Luck|
|Chapter 10||Checking out the Casino|
|Chapter 11||To The Hippest Joint In Town|
|Chapter 12||Here Comes The ... SUCKER|
|Library Page||RichGenX's Library - The Modern Day Casanova|
Current Cost of Fourth Walls Shattered: $1000000 (You know, fixing this fourth wall will be cheaper than the proposed border wall.)
|(If there are any concerns, please contact me, and please be polite)|