The Legend of the Lion-Man #1

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the_red_viper

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#1  Edited By the_red_viper  Moderator

Chapter One: The Contender

Ka'ash was laying in the tall grass, the sun warming his back. He watched as two of his cubs threw themselves playfully at one another, nibbling at each other's necks with their small teeth. He has lead his pride as the alpha-male for many moons, but he knew it would all be over soon. He was old, and not as fast as he used to be. His unusual size still made him superior in combat to most males in his pride, but not all.

Na'ad was almost as big as Ka'ash. He was young, fast, and brutal. Ka'ash knew in his heart that it will come to him fighting against Na'ad for the alpha-male's title and, sad as it was to admit, he knew in his heart that the odds were not in his favor. Na'ad will most likely kill him.

That was not what was upsetting him, though. That was the way of nature, he knew. Just like he had killed the former alpha-male, Za'ak, he knew that the day will come when another male will defeat him and take the mantle for himself. And he was always at peace with this fact, for that is the way things were.

But Na'ad was the one male he would not want to lead the pride. He was young, powerful and energetic, and a phenomenal hunter. But he was arrogant and foolish. He rarely thought before he acted, and he has put himself and the rest of the pride in danger more than once. Better a leader who knows how to lead, but not hunt, than the other way around, he always preached.

He growled quietly to himself and watched as his cubs kept playing. He will miss that.

***

"Let me give you a hand with that," Jericho said and rushed forward, toward Flynn who was struggling with a large metal briefcase. He grabbed the briefcase from one side, while Flynn grabbed the other. "Ready? One, two... three!" he said as he and Flynn lifted the briefcase onto the back of the old Land-Rover.

"Jesus, Flynn, that thing weighs a ton!" Jericho said, his face red from effort.

"Or maybe you're just getting old," Flynn mused.

"If I hadn't come to help you that thing would still be on the floor, you little damsel," Jericho said. "What the heck's in it, anyway? Since when do cameras weigh THAT much?"

"It's not just the camera," Flynn explained. "All my gear's in there, too. The tripod alone is almost 30 pounds."

"Well," Jericho said. "Let's just hope this old piece of junk can carry it without falling apart."

"That 'piece of junk' can carry much more than you'd imagine," said a woman's voice behind them. Jericho and Flynn turned around.

The woman who stood behind them was a native. Her skin was dark of course, and the dozens of thin braids in her hair were tightly gathered behind her back.

"Sorry," said Jericho. "I don't believe we've met."

"Chagina," she said, smiling, and reached out a hand. "I'll be your driver."

"Jericho Steele," he introduced himself. "And this here's Flynn."

"Nice to meet you,", she said, her native accent barely noticable. "which one of you is the celebrity?"

Flynn let out a snort. "Sorry to disappoint you ma'am, unfortunately there are no celebrities here today. But that snot over there would be the closest thing we have to offer." He pointed toward the small hut at the end of the clearing. "The man, the legend-Ryan Jordan."

Chagina and Jericho turned to look themselves. Jordan was just leaving the hut, which was luckily far enough so he wouldn't hear Flynn's venomous remark. He wore a pair of bage cargo pants and a blue, long-sleeved buttoned shirt. A pair of expensive sunglasses covered his eyes just beneath his cowboy hat.

"I see," Chagina said. "I take it you don't like him?"

"Now what makes you say that?" Flynn said cynically. "Better get going, looks like RJ will be ready to leave once he finishes giving autographs to that flock of birds." He climbed onto the Land Rover. Jericho couldn't help but smile at that last joke.

"Flynn is Jordan's cameraman," Jericho explained. "He's been working with him for quite a while. He doesn't really like him."

"To put it lightly, it seems," Chagina said. "What are your thoughts on him?"

Jericho shrugged. "Never worked with him before."

"Oh. What is it that you do, exactly?" Chagina asked.

"I'm here to keep him safe," Jericho said. "I work as an animal catcher back at home. Jordan's guy called in sick in the last minute, so Flynn who's an old friend of mine offered Jordan to ask me if I'm interested. I'm not a professional or anything, but Jordan pays me less than he pays his regular guy and seems like money's his first concern. It's more than I usually make back at home, so I said 'what the hell', y'know, and here I am."

"Sounds like a fun change," Chagina said. "Oh, and who's this child?" She pointed toward the Land Rover.

"Oh," Jericho said, his voice weaker than before. "Yeah, this is my son."

***

Ka'ash roared, and the entire pride fell silent and looked up at him. He watched them for a few short moments, to make sure he has all the attention. His mate, Zila'a, was sitting by his side.

"Today, we hunt," Ka'ash started. He looked at one of the pride's strongest lionesses. "Jona'a, you will lead the hunt."

Jona'a stood upright and bowed her head in respect.

"You will take four more with you," Ka'ash continued. "You will venture west, toward the riverbank. There, you will wait for suitable prey to cross and..."

"No."

Ka'ash turned his head to see who dared interrupt him, although he already knew. "Na'ad, it is not your place to question my decisions."

"Not my place?!" the bold lion said angrily. "You lead us toward starvation. Your age clouds your judgement."

Ka'ash was taken aback by that last statement. He has known Na'ad was bold and arrogant, but he didn't think he would be this disrespectful. Still, he controlled his temper.

"My age has granted me experience," Ka'ash said calmly. "I have lead this pride for many moons. I know what I am doing. Now, be quiet, young one." Although he tried not too, he couldn't help but add a small, barely noticable tone of condescension to his remark, which obviously caught Na'ad's attention.

"There will be no prey at the river!" Na'ad exclaimed, angrier than before. "It is not yet the season. Jona'a should go south, to the lake."

"Hold your tongue," Ka'ash said, now far less calm. Back when he was the contender to old Za'ak's position, he never treated him with disrespect. He has held respect to his former liege even to this day. "There will be plenty of prey at the river. I have been hunting there since long before you drew your first breath. I know when to strike. If Jona'a goes to the lake, she would probably not return. You yourself were in luck to have survived the encounter you had there with the hippopotamus you so foolishly attacked."

That seemed to anger Na'ad. "You old fool," Na'ad growled. He started to pace forward. "Face me."

All eyes were on Ka'ash now. Such disrespect was never seen or heard before.

Ka'ash could not ignore that. He stood up and looked at Na'ad. He was larger than him, but not by a large margin. Na'ad was muscular and his mane was dark brown, whilst Ka'ash's has long since started to show streaks of grey. They began circling each other.

The two largest lions in the pride roared, and the trees seemed to shake in fear.

Then they charged at each other, and the tall grass was painted red.

**********

@cbishop@richgenx@wildvine I would love to hear what you guys think! =)

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batkevin74

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@the_red_viper: He. He. he. He. he. His. him. his. Eight He's, His's and Him's in the first paragraph. It's a bit of an overload don't you think?

phenomenal hunter. Okay a lion fact (and before @impurestcheese takes you to task on animals) that male lions don't hunt. They sleep and shag and roar and occasionally chase off hyenas but they leave the hunting to the lionesses because they're lazy hairy bastards :)

Then they charged at each other, and the tall grass was painted red. Nice line

Not a bad opening chapter but a little lacking in Lion Man but I presume that turns up next chapter where Jericho and Ka'ash get fused together via ancient African magics and he takes his new skills to the urban jungles of New York or possible London. :)

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the_red_viper

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#3 the_red_viper  Moderator

@the_red_viper: He. He. he. He. he. His. him. his. Eight He's, His's and Him's in the first paragraph. It's a bit of an overload don't you think?

phenomenal hunter. Okay a lion fact (and before @impurestcheese takes you to task on animals) that male lions don't hunt. They sleep and shag and roar and occasionally chase off hyenas but they leave the hunting to the lionesses because they're lazy hairy bastards :)

Then they charged at each other, and the tall grass was painted red. Nice line

Not a bad opening chapter but a little lacking in Lion Man but I presume that turns up next chapter where Jericho and Ka'ash get fused together via ancient African magics and he takes his new skills to the urban jungles of New York or possible London. :)

As for the too many he's, I'll try to improve on that next time, thanks for the notion. English isn't my first language and although I'm fluent and have read many books in English, writing is a different matter altogether, lol. One of the reasons I'm writing is to improve my language skills.

As for the lion-fact, yeah I'm aware of that (hence why Ka'ash chose a lioness to lead the hunt) but as far as I know male lions do hunt on occasion (rarely but still).

Glad you liked it, hope to see your comment on the next chapters and my other stories as well ;)

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the_red_viper

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#4 the_red_viper  Moderator

@batkevin74: Oh and forgot to ask, you only commented on Ka'ash's POVs. What do you think on Jericho's POV (the middle part)?

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@the_red_viper: Hey, I like this one tons better than the last one I read. I had the same thought about the lions- every animal show I've ever watched says the females do the hunting. Tarzan lied to me- seems all the males do is lie in the grass and wait for dinner to be served. :)

I'm curious to see how your Lion-Man character comes to be. I have a very similar idea on my "to write" list that is set in the US slave era.

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the_red_viper

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#6 the_red_viper  Moderator

@cbishop: thanks for your positive comment. Yeah, as I said I am aware that the females are the hunters usually.

But I did do some reading. Male lions actually do hunt when it comes to larger prey, like buffalos ir giraffes, in which cases the females' strength would not suffice and there is need for the larger, more powerful males.

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cbishop

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#8 the_red_viper  Moderator
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I liked it. Nice job. @the_red_viper

As for the multiple he's, his's, and him's in the first paragraph, try thinking of other ways to start a sentence. For example, you could have replaced some of the he's with the name of Ka'ash in order to avoid that problem. (I had the same exact problem when I started writing but it has gotten better.)

But the rest is good, amazing, and well organized. You clearly have an idea of overall where your story is leading. Nice first chapter.

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#10  Edited By the_red_viper  Moderator

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