the black lagoon #0.1

Avatar image for dcdyno
dcdyno

148

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

"My dad studies fossils or something. What about you?" I ,Rich Arnold, replied.

"I'm here because my dad is a photographer. I guess we are both going to the Amazon. right?" the Hispanic boy answered. "My name is Jose Carlson"

The conversation headed in the same direction for the next ten minutes ,but the boys both got sucked into their different websites for the rest of the flight to Manaus ,Brazil.

Once we arrived we each loaded our single suitcase onto two different Jeeps of a convoy that headed into the jungle. Until, we stopped at a port. The scientist and other people who are going to the fossil dig site, such as Jose's father, ate lunch. The children ate fast and then played before they had to get on the small ship waiting to swim us up the Amazon.

The ship powered the passengers to the dig site just before dark. Because we were late, we rushed to set up camp.

The camp was setup on a clearing just off the coast of the Amazon and about a hundred yards down stream from a tributary. The ground was muddy ,but since I'm gonna spend my next two weeks here I won't complain.

I'm going to sleep early ,because I have no idea what is in store for me tomorrow.

Avatar image for mrdecepticonleader
mrdecepticonleader

19691

Forum Posts

2501

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 3

A little short but a good start.

Avatar image for cbishop
cbishop

15809

Forum Posts

350090

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 54

User Lists: 1068

#3  Edited By cbishop

The title grabbed my attention, so nice job there. The second paragraph switches narration tense. The rest of the story is in first person - the character telling the reader the story. The second paragraph is a narrator (not a character) telling the story. You can fix that by saying "but we both got sucked into our different websites..." or "but us boys both got sucked into..."