The Arrival of the Recruits #2

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dragonrampage

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#1  Edited By dragonrampage

The Arrival of the Recruits

By borderline comics

Auburn was pacing in front of Golgotha Mountain waiting for the recruits to come. Pacing on all this stony, uneven ground was getting painful and she hated the mountain looming above her like that. Instead of the foot of the mountain being where she would meet them she should have done the top. That would have made it easer for the recruits to see her. Cassic sighed and kept waiting.

It was almost the end of the day, but she finally saw a silver flash in the sky. As the dragons got closer Auburn saw large black wings then the bodies became visible. A sea blue dragon led, followed by an icy blue dragon and in the back a black dragon with massive wings and a small body. The sea blue dragon saw her and flew down toward Auburn. He landed and morphed into human form followed by the other two.

The first dragon who had morphed wasn't overly tall or short; he had short blond hair and blue eyes. He had a massive grin on his face. "Hi Miss Cassic I'm Nathan, Nathan Rush." He looked around and asked ," What should I do Ma'am?"

"Just call me Auburn." Nathan should be nice to work with Cassic thought with a smile. "What's your name dragon of ice?"

"Hello miss- no I mean Auburn, my name is Jake Johnston." He looked around after awkwardly finishing his statement.

"Must be nervous," Cassic mused. "What about you, the shy one in the back?" Auburn wondered why no one wanted her she seemed fi- she was cut off in mid thought by the black dragon.

"Listen to me lowly peasants, I am not shy, after all you are unskilled and inexperienced compared to me," growled the dragon.

Auburn decided to mention something to put this dragoon in her place, "I saw in your file you have only mastered two martial arts, you are far behind the others and basically have no reason to say that."

The response was a low threatening growl.

Nathan began to laugh, then trying to cheer up his comrade stopped and said, "You're skilled, talented, and experienced you'll catch up in-"

"Silence you dog," was the only response he got from the disgruntled dragon.

Auburn decided that that was the last straw, "You are in massive trouble now for act-"

"I might as well fly back," the disobedient dragon stated.

"Well you can't , you'll stay here until your training is completed. The only one who is responsible for being here is you. No one wants you except for me, but I'm rapidly regretting my choice.". Auburn looked at the others and ordered them to come inside, as she turned she heard a stream of cussing directed at her.

"Now you will get your mouth washed out with soap, come with me." Auburn now saw why nobody wanted this as a recruit.

The response to her command was the profanity worsening, with an added growl. Cassic turned around and saw she was unrepentant of her behavior. "No small wonder why no one wants her," Cassic thought.

"Follow me." Auburn barked at the recruits, while glaring at the small figure in the back. She went toward the mountain and pointed at a crack in the side. "Remember where this is , because this is the entrance to the headquarters." Auburn pulled at the crack and a small passageway opened up. Cassic waited for everyone to pass and closed the door making sure that the last one wasn't flying back.

"Everyone will come with me on patrol except for you," pointing at the dragoon who was still saying curses at Cassic.

" Why?" demanded the small black figure.

"Four reasons you are too young and are disrespectful, you act like you're 8 and are a complete jerk to everyone." Cassic wondered what the response would be

"I'm a good fighter and have powers beyond all of you put together," stated the belligerent pre-teen.

"The part about powers may be true, but you're still young and they drain you of a lot of energy. As for the warrior part I've been alive and fighting for over 200 years." Cassic was amazed by the level of disrespect. She knew that this dragoon had been punished often and hard.

"I'm not getting my mouth washed out with soap," was the response to Cassic.

"Well, I'm going to take you there.". Auburn knew a fight was on its way.

"You'll have to drag me."

Cassic sighed, "Fine."

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"Keep close, this is a maze and I don't want to look for anybody in here." Cassic sighed, this was getting hard. Between the struggling dragoon and helping Nathan carry the luggage, it was tiring navigating the tunnels.

"LET GO OF MY HAND!" shouted the young dragoon.

"For the sixteenth time no and don't ask again." Cassic went over the list of punishments, "Lets see kp, bathrooms, soap in mouth for 30 minutes, a good spanking, no treats for a month, clean all floors for half a year...why are you STILL fighting me?". Cassic was just exasperated at the level of rebellion in one person.

"Did you know that I'm your guardian until you're 18, dragon? Or that I'm your commander until you're 25 and will take the throne? Thank goodness for laws and the trial that you have to pass. I would hate to see you on the throne because of your behavior." Auburn shuddered at the thought as well as Nathan and Jake.

Finally the dragoon stopped struggling and talking and walked on in shocked silence. After another turn they entered the Hall. After the small twisting Maze it seemed even larger.

"This is where you'll eat, train, and learn lessons.". One side of the Hall had a stream running through it. Other than that the cave was dry. Nathan walked over to the stream and saw a trout swim by. He liked the sound of water in the cave. Looking up he saw stalactites and torches on the ceiling providing indirect lighting. There was a torch about every 10 meters on the walls .

The ceiling and walls were almost completely left alone in natural patterns. Only the floor had been smoothed out into a flat grey surface. There was a gymnasium set and a table with six chairs. There was a mat in the middle of the cave floor and one banner hanging from the ceiling.

The banner had a dragon breathing fire with three symbols. Looking closer, he was happy to find that one was draconic another Norse and the last Japanese. The draconic one meant destruction of evil , the Norse rune meant justice and the last one was punishment. He had seen this banner in Antarctica. At the home of the dragoons, it was their banner. Dragoon uniforms also had the dragon head with the runes. Nathan went over to tell Jake what the runes meant because he knew that Jake only spoke three languages.

While Nathan was telling Jake about the banner Auburn took the dragoon down a small corridor which had four doors. Cassic paused and opened the first door on the right. "This is my room," Cassic stated. She walked over to a small built in bathroom and picked up a bar of soap from the small sink. The small dragoon began to back up, but stopped and took the soap whist glaring at Auburn.

To her surprise there was no large protest. After a while there was a muffled sound from behind the soap. After removing the soap the dragoon said in a very gruff tone, "Its been thirty minutes."

Cassic nodded and took out the soap. "No more swearing," Auburn simply stated. "Go to the Hall."

She just walked out the door into the hall. Cassic followed after closing her door.

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"Everybody come over here please," Auburn bellowed. All of the students obeyed and walked over. "What would you like to eat?"

The black dragon said,"Food". Nathan eagerly began listing dinner, "Let's see...seaweed salad, with say, sushi?". Then Jake popped up with the suggestion of caviar with crackers, red wine , and a sea food platter say, tuna or shrimp and throw in the seaweed salad for Nathan.

Cassic said,"PB&J?"

After a while they all sat at the table. They were all thinking about each other. The black dragon, who yet had to speak her name, was finished in less than 3 minutes. She took off her hood and gasps came from all over the table. Her face on one half was normal, except for a small whip scar that was less than an inch long on her lower jaw. The other half was very scarred. The cheekbone wasn't right and a two inch wide and three inch long scar went from her cheekbone to the jaw.

She growled and put the hood back up. She then morphed back into her dragon form and curled up on the darkest ledge. Looking down on the group from her perch the black dragon began thinking about the others.

" Look at them! Especially that sea dragon chatting away. He's so loud...wonder how I can wipe that stupid smirk off his face. That ice dragon...Jake...he's just too nuetral for my liking. He automatically blends into the group...I don't trust him. Best keep my guard up around him. Oh yes, Cassic, the one who served my parents. She is most interesting. She is extremely patient with me and ... and her whole demeanor changes when she's talking to me. I must watch them all," mused the black dragon.

Meanwhile Jake was wondering about her as well. "Up there lurking above us in the shadows, she might actually be shy like Auburn said. I'll try to do something with her later. Now there's ditzy over there a.k.a Nathan. Ice dragons would never act so causal. The way that shadow dragon wolfed down her sandwich made you think she was starving! At least Nathan is friendly unlike miss creep over there. I wonder how Cassic stayed sane being alone for ten years without anyone else. She's glad to have us minus you know who."

Nathan worried, "I wish she would stop glaring at me like that or is it just staring? Hard to tell with that dragon, wonder what I did to her? She's looking at me like I was named distrust! Better avoid her for a little while. Wow, Auburn is really chatty. Most likely because she's been alone for ten years. Jake seems cold, but that's how ice dragons are supposed to act. We might get along fine as a group ... minus Stalker over there."

Auburn also worried inside her head. "Lady Wyoming-no no, Samantha is very dark. Her behavior is also horrid. That won't be fun to discipline out of her. Should I tell her to stop glaring at the world? Nathan, he's nice. I hope I'm not chatting his head off. It's just that I've been so... lonely ever since ... ever since the death. But it was 50 years a go. No! No! No! Stop thinking about it Cassic. Back to Nathan, there that's better. He's training for doctor maybe he can help with the wounds that stupid thing in the swamp gave me. I hope Jake isn't coming off as cold or snotty to the others. Ice dragons are very formal at all times. This might be a disaster."

Cassic saw everyone needed to rest and showed them to their rooms. Then she announced that in the morning would be lessons after lunch.

Before everyone closed their doors the black dragon stopped and turned to face everyone. "I'm Samantha Wyoming," then shut the door behind her. The others stared at the door in shocked silence.

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Tell me what you think . Would love constructive critics and reviews.

Coming out soon

Legend of the Chaga, Cassic's solo

The Klan of evil full team

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dragonrampage

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Trying to release one story a week

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ImpurestCheese

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@dragonrampage: A few things that may need to be looked at...

First of all Borderline Comics is a brand, it should be in capitals because of that.

Secondly, unless its a date or something of that ilk, we generally write numbers, this is literature after all not maths

There are also some parts where the dialogue was hard to distinguish who was talking, or where there was no indication of who it was at all. You could also use a little connectivity between sentences, the majority are short, which (for me) makes everything seem grinding and halting when I read it, which ultimately lessens the merits of the story.

Also do a quick punctuation check, there feels like there's some quote marks missing, but they might just be me.

As for the story, I have no idea what's going on, and while that's partially since this is the first piece of work I've read of yours, its also because I've never been coaxed or convinced to read anything of yours. A call out may attract readers and commenting on their work is a sure fire way to get them to return the favour.

Hopefully these offer a helping hand and keep up the writing.

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dragonrampage

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@impurestcheese: Thanks for this advice . Would doing stories as a poll be a bad idea if the message part was a story,but the poll part would be a way of rating the story?

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ImpurestCheese

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@dragonrampage: It may work, but writing stories as a poll means that you can't edit the story if you have to, in other words it has to be right first time