Well, during my first moments of villainy, I really didn't know how to start off my career. It was 1971 and all I did was rob some burglar alarm factory and a candy bar from a local gas station ( I was hungry that day ). But my adventures into the world of villainy would start when I was coming home from the local bar.
I really dont remember much that night because I somehow lost all my money at the bar. ( Wonder how that happened? )
Anyways, I was shlammered, thats right shlammered, and the last thing I remember was talking to some Army recruiter in the back alley. He was saying some stupid crap like " Chop one head off, two would grow", "Hail hydro", "Baron Structure this, Baron Structure that". But for some reason, I thought that he was a ghost and I decided punch him to see if he was, which he wasn't by the way. From what I remember, for some unknown reason that made him happy and stopped ranting stupid crap, telling me that I got what it takes to be in the Hydro Army. But what really caught my interest was when he mentioned the payment.
That and remembering him mentioning free food, free rooming, free television, free cable, free, free, free, and more free. Well, little did I know how dumb I was to be fooled by all this free offers when I woke up with a huge hangover in some waiting room. First thing I did was check my stomach to see if there was any scars, any sign of missing kidneys or body organs. Everything is right where it should be on my body and nothing is taken, boy was I happy not to be in another bad situation like last summer ( dont ask ).
So im in something that looks like a white waiting room, for a second I thought I was in the hospital until I noticed the nurse behind the glass window. Some dude wearing a pickle suit with a huge H on his chest and filing paperwork? Well, as I asked him what happened to me last night and how the hell I got here, the pickle just looked at me stupid and said " Hydra recruit 13456, your undying loyalty requires you to take a seat and wait for your brief from the Supreme Hydra"
Well, for a second I thought I was in some hospital in Mexico again, but as I try to find out where I was, I didn't get much out of pickle suit. For some reason I kept getting the feeling that Rod Serling was in the room somewhere narrating an episode of the Twilight Zone.
Well, by telling pickle suit that I was out of here, professionally ( okay, I told him to f*** off ), I decide to leave the joint, but I couldn't because the damn door was locked. Now thats what didn't scare me, what scared me was when pickle suit tells me " Hydra recruit 13456, all Hydra members are loyal to Hydra and only way to leave Hydra is through death"
Okay, now I know that im back in Mexico in some hospital.
Three hours go by and im still waiting for my supposed training, I can't get over the NO SMOKING signs that this room displays and the Womens magazines as the only reading material in that room. But the one thing that really had me almost laughing was the huge poster above pickle suits window, a poster that had a cute puppy with the words NEW WORLD ORDER under it, help make a change for a better world, HYDRA.
Okay, now its official, I am in the Twilight Zone
Well, after almost four hours, a weasle looking guy in another pickle suit comes in through the locked door and says "recruit 13456, your brief with the Supreme Hydra is ready"
To be continued