Splicers: The Orwell's Chapter 1

  • 57 results
  • 1
  • 2
Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16325

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#1  Edited By batkevin74

Nexus Parental Planning Office, Hawaii. 2014.

“So you want the deluxe?” said Dr Benjamin Schultz as he looked up from the computer. The middle aged Jewish doctor was better on the business end of a microscope than dealing with clients, but when Mandy, Leilani and Jacinta had called in sick he was on the desk.

“Is there better than deluxe?” The man was excited, almost methamphetamine excited. He had good reason to be, he was Thomas Orwell “The Luckiest Man Alive”. Thomas was a nobody until three years ago. He was just one of the vast numbers that make up a population, a face in the crowd, a background player. He bought a ticket in the Super Mega Jackpot and the Millionaire Ball lotteries. And he won both! The sole winner of $924,755,200.12 after taxes; an almost instant billionaire.

Thomas was hounded by the press, everyone wanted a piece of him. So he did what any sensible person would do; he ran. He moved to the Cook Islands because no one their cared who he was and they were a tax haven. He then put all his money stupidly into a little company called In-Gen which was on the cutting edge of genetic testing and after a $900,000,000 investment saw the company boom and Thomas made even more money. He sensibly pulled out and watched as In-Gen merged with Beyond Tomorrow and eventually became Nexus, the pharmaceutical company that could make designer babies.

“If you have the money you can have whatever you like” said Dr Schultz, totally oblivious to who his client was. Dr Schultz had chemical compounds on the brain.

“Okay I want them to be sporty like Federer…no Nadal…no Connors, Connors at his peak was good…maybe Sampras with seven Wimbledon’s but Federer did five in a row…hmmm? Can you do that?”

“I don’t know who you are talking about?” replied Dr Schultz, tapping his pen on the desk

“What can’t you do is probably a better question?”

“Mr Orwell…”

“Thomas. Or Tommy”

“Mr Orwell” continued the doctor looknig over the top of his glasses “The sky is the limit. If you have the money I can design whatever you like”

“Really?” Thomas had a big smile on his face

The Animal Farm, Avarua, capital of the Cook Islands 2028

Fourteen year old Blair Orwell stood on the surface of the swimming pool. She didn’t know what to do. She’d run after her younger brother Arthur and he’d dodged away and Blair ran out onto the water like it was solid. Arthur looked at her in shock, awe and amazement

“WOW!” exclaimed Arthur

“Go. Get. Dad” said Blair petrified at the fact she was doing the impossible

“Okay” said Arthur who ran off into the mansion “DAD!”

Avatar image for joshmightbe
joshmightbe

27561

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 13

#2  Edited By joshmightbe

Great start

Avatar image for awesam
AweSam

7530

Forum Posts

2261

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#3  Edited By AweSam

Good job, maybe your guy can lend my guy a few... millions?

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16325

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#4  Edited By batkevin74

@joshmightbe: Thank you

@AweSam: Thanks. Sure just give me your account details and he'll wire them over from his Nigerian bank :)

Avatar image for tomdickharry1984
tomdickharry1984

842

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 1

User Lists: 1

#5  Edited By tomdickharry1984

This is great! Is this a new world thing? Looking forwrd to more

Avatar image for joshmightbe
joshmightbe

27561

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 13

#6  Edited By joshmightbe

@tomdickharry1984: We started this the other day. Its brand new and the characters are all originals

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16325

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#7  Edited By batkevin74

@tomdickharry1984: New, original stuff like @joshmightbe: said

Avatar image for joshmightbe
joshmightbe

27561

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 13

#8  Edited By joshmightbe

bump

Avatar image for project_worm
Project_Worm

4360

Forum Posts

16

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 6

User Lists: 0

#9  Edited By Project_Worm

Really great job batkev!

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16325

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#10  Edited By batkevin74

@Project_Worm: Thanks!

Avatar image for utotheg38
utotheg38

19295

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#11  Edited By utotheg38

Nice

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16325

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#12  Edited By batkevin74

@utotheg38: Thanks :)

Avatar image for the_poet
The Poet

8646

Forum Posts

116846

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 84

User Lists: 99

#13  Edited By The Poet  Moderator

@batkevin74: very cool

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16325

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#14  Edited By batkevin74

@The Poet: And thank you, I am up to chapter 3 if you're keen or interested :)

Avatar image for the_poet
The Poet

8646

Forum Posts

116846

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 84

User Lists: 99

#15  Edited By The Poet  Moderator

@batkevin74: I'm catching myself up, so I will check it out soon...

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16325

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#16  Edited By batkevin74

@The Poet: Sweet

Have a look at this

Cast an eye over this dude

Avatar image for joygirl
Joygirl

21037

Forum Posts

482

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 43

#17  Edited By Joygirl

Where is chapter two? Eh, nevermind, I'll find it.

I liked this bit so far, though I'll withhold complete judgment until I finish the entire thing. It's a very fine start, and well-written. Engaging enough for me to get a great sense of activity despite being distracted by these bedamned interwebz.

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16325

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#18  Edited By batkevin74

@Joygirl: I'm up to chapter three :)

Avatar image for csguterres
csguterres

253

Forum Posts

11

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 1

#19  Edited By csguterres

@batkevin74: Nice start, very good!

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16325

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#20  Edited By batkevin74

@csguterres: Thanks, I am up to 3 chapters of this so far if you're keen/interested

Avatar image for joshmightbe
joshmightbe

27561

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 13

#21  Edited By joshmightbe

bump

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16325

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#22  Edited By batkevin74

@joshmightbe said:

bump

Thanks! :)

Avatar image for 4donkeyjohnson
4donkeyjohnson

2063

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#23  Edited By 4donkeyjohnson

A homage, tribute to George Orwell I take it? Quite a captivating start with especially the end with: "Fourteen year old Blair Orwell stood on the surface of the swimming pool. She didn’t know what to do. She’d run after her younger brother Arthur and he’d dodged away and Blair ran out onto the water like it was solid. Arthur looked at her in shock, awe and amazement. “WOW!” exclaimed Arthur. “Go. Get. Dad” said Blair petrified at the fact she was doing the impossible. “Okay” said Arthur who ran off into the mansion “DAD!” I may have to read more, I rate this a B- mainly due to it's over a tad too quickly (don't pay too much attention to my ranking system...I am simply some person and not an ACTUAL standard to be measured against)

Avatar image for joshmightbe
joshmightbe

27561

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 13

#24  Edited By joshmightbe

bump

Avatar image for rusty_irons
Rusty_Irons

634

Forum Posts

38

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#25  Edited By Rusty_Irons

In-Gen has been mentioned. the dinosaurs are not far away. :)

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16325

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#26  Edited By batkevin74

@tmacximas: That's the Jurassic Park people! I just wrote In-Gen because it sounded like what a gene splicing company should be called...and Michael Crichton beat me to it by 22 years!

Avatar image for rusty_irons
Rusty_Irons

634

Forum Posts

38

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#27  Edited By Rusty_Irons

@batkevin74 said:

@tmacximas: That's the Jurassic Park people! I just wrote In-Gen because it sounded like what a gene splicing company should be called...and Michael Crichton beat me to it by 22 years!

It's still cool.

Avatar image for capfanboy
CapFanboy

5590

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 1

#28  Edited By CapFanboy

*poke*

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16325

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#29  Edited By batkevin74

@CapFanboy said:

*poke*

Only been poked on Facebook before, this is new strange and may just catch on. #thismaycatchon

Avatar image for syiar
SyIar

414

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#30  Edited By SyIar

POKE!

Also. Great start!

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16325

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#31  Edited By batkevin74

@SyIar: Well I'm up to chapter 5 if you're keen, eager or interested

Avatar image for syiar
SyIar

414

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#32  Edited By SyIar

@batkevin74 said:

@SyIar: Well I'm up to chapter 5 if you're keen, eager or interested

All three, thanks.

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16325

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#33  Edited By batkevin74

@SyIar: Sweet, hopefully chapter 6 today if my plans work out :)

Avatar image for joshmightbe
joshmightbe

27561

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 13

#34  Edited By joshmightbe

bump

Avatar image for revamp
ReVamp

23014

Forum Posts

8330

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 13

#35  Edited By ReVamp

Interesting read.

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16325

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#36  Edited By batkevin74

@4donkeyjohnson: Thanks

@ReVamp: Thanks :)

Avatar image for 4donkeyjohnson
4donkeyjohnson

2063

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#37  Edited By 4donkeyjohnson

Bump

Avatar image for tomdickharry1984
tomdickharry1984

842

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 1

User Lists: 1

#38  Edited By tomdickharry1984

bumo

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16325

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#39  Edited By batkevin74

And a casual bump, that's it :)

Avatar image for tomdickharry1984
tomdickharry1984

842

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 1

User Lists: 1

#40  Edited By tomdickharry1984

Bump'd

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16325

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#41  Edited By batkevin74

And a final bump

Avatar image for joygirl
Joygirl

21037

Forum Posts

482

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 43

#42  Edited By Joygirl

@batkevin74: COFFEE.

Psycho Eyes
Psycho Eyes
Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16325

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#43  Edited By batkevin74
No Caption Provided

Sexy bump :)

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16325

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

Bumped

Avatar image for joshmightbe
joshmightbe

27561

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 13

#45  Edited By joshmightbe

Bumped

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16325

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

Avatar image for cbishop
cbishop

16583

Forum Posts

361188

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 75

User Lists: 1090

The start seems a little jumbled, but the end makes me want to read the next chapter.

Avatar image for lykopis
lykopis

10845

Forum Posts

40100

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#48  Edited By lykopis

First off, talk about lucky! Secondly, are the Cook Islands really a tax haven? (I really don't know -- just curious) and thirdly, why haven't you added to this? Hmm? I am all curious and invested and you've left Blair standing there all this time!

Avatar image for lykopis
lykopis

10845

Forum Posts

40100

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0