Sharpshot/Killer Rabbit #3

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#1 Edited by TommytheHitman (6941 posts) - - Show Bio

Issue 1

Sharpshot/Killer Rabbit 2

Previously... Sharpshot got kidnapped by a couple of Shapeshifters after they tricked him into an... unpleasant situation. In a totally badass moment that wasn't ripped from the Avengers, Sharpshot is interrogated by his arch enemy... DOCTOR DOMESTIC! Destroyer of decent retail developments! Even though Sharpshot doesn't remember him in the slightest. Just as the "good" doctor is about to kill everyone's favorite anti-hero, some... other person arrives and gets into a fight with him. This person who possibly enjoys Rabbit sexual orientation is quite annoying... that is until Doctor Domestic blows up the place they were fighting in.

Oh and also there's a sentient Mount Rushmore.

Edits/snippets of dialogue by Wildvine.

"...the white rabbit..." Killer Rabbit smiled in her state of unconsciousness.

There had been an explosion or something like that. Maybe that was a dream. Maybe this was real. She was sitting at a long table with a small girl and a fellow wearing a black and yellow costume, and a huge top hat. Briefly she wondered how he was sipping tea through his mask. Now everything was fine though. She was here with Alice finally. She could finally stop looking.

"Are you dead?" The little girl asked. "You must be. Are you staying this time? You never stay for long."

"I... don't understand." Killer Rabbit replied in confusion. She was often confused, but this was different. "Why would I leave?" She asked.

"Because we never stay dead. We always wake up...." It was the voice she always heard in her head. But it was out side her head now. Killer Rabbit looked around and saw a young woman wearing a pair of white, fuzzy rabbit ears on her head. Killer Rabbit felt tears on her cheeks, and wondered why she was crying.

"Move your butts!" The Hatter said standing up and moving the Killer Rabbit's chair, Rabbit now finding herself in the little girl's seat, sitting on a pile of story books. Alice was nowhere to be seen.

"Wait, where is--" Killer Rabbit looked around frantically before seeing the little girl chasing the white rabbit woman. "Nonononono" She tried to high jump after them but her powers didn't seem to be working. She watched in horror as the girl slipped head first down a hole after the woman.

"Sometimes the system goes on the brink, and the whole thing turns out wrong." The Hatter said from a new seat at the table, and took another swing of tea.

"What?" Killer Rabbit asked and turned to find herself starring up at a half destroyed warehouse ceiling.

"I said, I like your back." A voice replied snapping Rabbit out of her dream confusion. The siren wale of fire engines and police cars rising in the distance.

"Alice?" She asked as she tried to stand up only to notice two arms wrapped around her waist. Then she felt something else. A body behind her.

"Crap... last issue didn't have any movie quotes..." A shrill voice (that sounded like someone had been kicked in the balls) rang out. "Uh... Zed's dead honey." Sharpshot said as he tightened around Killer Rabbit's charred body. "Zed's de-"

"Alice?" Killer Rabbit called as she broke free from Sharpshot's grasp jumping up into the air. Sharpshot stared at her in surprise.

"Uh... hi Killer Bunny!" Sharpshot said as he pushed himself away from the bewildered looking Rabbit. "Do you mind if I keep you?" He asked. "You're useful for explosion protecti-" Sharpshot paused as he noticed Killer Rabbit began to shake her head back and forth in apparent confusion.

BRAKABRAKABRAKABRAKA!!!!!!!!!

Sharpshot dove for cover as Killer Rabbit pulled a handgun from what (was hopefully) a pocket. The majority of her costume had been torn to shreds. However somehow the Comic Codes Authority had managed to come up with an excuse for her to keep her top on. Goddamn it Nick Fury! MARVEL GETS AWAY WITH EVERYTHING!!!

"Where did she go! I found her! I found her where is she!!" Killer Rabbit screamed.

"SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!" Sharpshot yelled as he returned fire with one of his pistols. The bullet missed entirely and smashed into an oddly placed picture of a duck that had somehow survived the explosion.

"You've been a bad girl Alice..." Killer Rabbit said as she slowly approached the table. Her gun still firing at full force.

"I'M DON'T KNOW ANY ALICE'S!" Sharpshot yelled as he popped up from behind cover at an attempt of an epic moment only to drop back down again when Rabbit fired another shot directly at him. "GORRAM!" Sharpshot yelled. "THAT GUN HAS A LOT OF AM-"

KLICK!

"-MO!" Sharpshot yelled as he stood up and fired a bullet directly at where Rabbit had been standing. Only to realize she'd disappeared. "What the hell?!" Sharpshot moaned as he looked around in surprise. "Don't go pulling a Christian Bale on me!" He paused and glanced around for the target however Killer Rabbit was nowhere in sight. "Aw... hockey pants..." Sharpshot muttered with a hint of sadness in his voice. He sat down on top of a piece of debris. "Why does everyone I shoot at leave me?" He was quiet for a few moments as if he was trying to answer the question himself. "No idea." He decided.

"...help... me..." A voice groaned from somewhere in the burning warehouse. Sharpshot's head cocked up. His face turned to where the voice was coming from.

"Somebody there?!" He yelled. Silence replied. "Come at me bro!" He said as he trotted casually towards the groans of pain. "Well, well, well..." Sharpshot muttered as he stared at the figure lying before him. "LOOK WHO IT IS!" He said cheerfully. Doctor Domestic looked up at him with pure hatred.

"You're... still alive?" He gasped. He was lying beneath a large piece of debris. "Goddamn it..." Domestic whispered before sighing.

"Wait." Sharpshot said as he crouched over Domestic. "You didn't protect yourself from your OWN explosions?!" He asked. "Dude. No wonder you're C-List!"

"Why do you think I'm one of YOUR arch enemies?!" The Doctor replied back. Sharpshot seemed taken aback by this comment. His eyes widened as he thought about what had just been said.

"...touche." He muttered. Sharpshot stared down at Domestic. He stared back at him. "So am I supposed to help you or something?" He asked.

"Of course you are!" Domestic yelled angrily. "YOU'RE A SUPERHERO!"

"Hey, hey, hey, hey. I prefer the term... 'costumed adventurer.' The term..." He paused. "...superhero..." He whispered. "Is currently being trademarked by two certain comic book companies and-" Sharpshot pulled his phone from his pocket showing a Text Message from an unknown publisher.

CEASE AND DESIST!

"See?!" Sharpshot yelled. "We're lucky they aren't suing the whole site for this!" He placed his phone back in his pocket. "JESUS HOW DRUNK AM I?!" He screamed.

"So are you going to help me or not?" Doctor Domestic asked.

"Probably not." Sharpshot admitted. He reloaded his pistol even though it has unlimited ammo and smiled beneath his mask. "Y'see Doctor... I'm hunting wabbits."

___________________________

Meanwhile...

"Son. What year is this?" The head of Abraham Lincoln asked.

Highball twitched nervously as he stood carefully on the giant Mount Rushmore's hand. 4 heads stared down at him. 4 heads belonging to some of the most important people in the history of the nation. Each of them had been dead for many years.

"Why do we need to know what year this is?" Roosevelt replied.

"Because it's important!" Jefferson yelled. "If we don't know what year this is how are we supposed to know if our families are alive or not?!"

"They're riding Mystical flying beasts Jefferson." Washington pointed out. "I'm pretty certain our families are dead now."

"Oh shut up you rasci-" Lincoln started to say.

"Uh... excuse me!" Highball yelled up at them. They each turned their heads towards him. "Hi." He muttered. "Uh... can I just say... I have no idea what's going on... at all." He admitted. "Now I-"

"Son." Abraham Lincoln interrupted. "Where's the President nowadays? Is he still up in Washington?"

"Washington?" Highball repeated. "Uh... no." He said. "Why?"

"I'm getting in a killing mood." Jefferson said. "Which is weird. Where's the President nowadays then?"

Highball stopped as he tried to think. "Son." An officer said over his helmet's communication link. "It's your DUTY to lie to them."

"New Orleans!" Highball yelled as it popped into his head. "The President's in New Orleans!"

"New Orleans?" Washington asked. Highball nodded anxiously.

"Well then!" Jefferson said as Mount Rushmore began to march forward. "Let's go!"

To be continued!

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#2 Edited by wildvine (14888 posts) - - Show Bio
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#3 Edited by Joygirl (21036 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine: @tommythehitman:

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Kidding. :3

Alright guys, this chapter is the best yet. Like by a longshot. While it comes off as a little bit scattered, like more time could have been spent editing it perhaps, the dialogue and the humor all really hits home and this gave me a couple of really good laughs. The Wonderland scene is surreal and oddly touching, giving a feel of intimacy and affinity with Killer Rabbit that makes her character so much more multifaceted.

While Sharpshot seems a bit manic in this, I'm starting to come around to the idea that being written erratically is part of his character, as his humor style goes from subtle cracks to outright bizarre ranting (as it is in this issue) seemingly at random. It kinda works, but could use being played with and having attention drawn to it a bit. Dr. Domestic is a bland character but serves his purpose as the narrative's butt-monkey.

Sturdy grammar and punctuation, as well, make this easy on the eyes, though I could have done with less caps (using bolded text serves the same purpose without being quite as painful).

And then, y'know, Sentient Mt. Rushmore. I can't wait to see if that lives up to its potential or not.

Overall, Sir Ystin approves.

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#4 Posted by TommytheHitman (6941 posts) - - Show Bio
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#5 Posted by ImpurestCheese (12542 posts) - - Show Bio

Bump for reading when I wake up in four hours

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#6 Edited by cbishop (15748 posts) - - Show Bio

O.O

<shakes head to bring back his focus>

Okay, I enjoyed this, and...and...<shakes head again, tearing eyes away from hula hips> [does that make me hip-notized?] <shakes head again, bangs it against desk>

Joygirl's point about the way Sharpshot is written is entirely valid. I figured the same thing out a few reads ago, but it does throw the reader at first, for him to be written kind of sporadically. As the character has grown on me, I can't rightly say that it's a bad thing, but it's there.

So...um, yeah...I now return me to hula hips...

O.O

:)

P.S. Oh yeah! Added to my FF Long Box - Authors. :)

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#7 Posted by wildvine (14888 posts) - - Show Bio

@cbishop: That may be partly my fault. I think I wrote Sharpshot a lot in part 2, and honestly he's kinda hard to nail down to me.

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#8 Posted by cbishop (15748 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine: I don't think it was in this crossover that I noticed it, but it happens. I don't think it's really a problem. I mean, basically, Sharpshot is Deadpool (sorry, Tommy) and with all the voices in that guy's head, erratic writing isn't necessarily OOC. <--look at me, using Internet abbreviations- woohoo! ;}

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#9 Posted by wildvine (14888 posts) - - Show Bio

@cbishop: Rabbit is Deadpool heavy inspired too, but I left her voice out to avoid mass confusion.

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#10 Posted by cbishop (15748 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine: Yeah, I need to read some of her solo story stuff. She is way more confusing to read than Sharpshot. Actually, not so much confusing, as you just have to concentrate harder to keep up. ;)

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#11 Posted by wildvine (14888 posts) - - Show Bio

@cbishop:

She's mostly had RPG interactions. You can find the best ones on the About me page. She also had a one shot appearance in Hawker, and of course there is the Injustice profile in my FF library.

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#12 Posted by cbishop (15748 posts) - - Show Bio
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#13 Posted by Killer_Rabbit (213 posts) - - Show Bio

@cbishop: Yeah, this was an experiment to break into original stories.

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#14 Posted by cbishop (15748 posts) - - Show Bio

@cbishop: Yeah, this was an experiment to break into original stories.

GAH! Th-th-th-thanks.