"When dealing with psychopaths, rules become secondary and people become fertilizer."
New Orleans, NOT The Doomhound-Verse. Just in case you continuity hounds were wondering.
Sharpshot groaned as he felt a hand smash him across the face. Slowly he opened his eyes and looked around to several figures staring down at him. He was tied to a chair, with his arms and legs being tied to the arm rests and chair legs.
"That's kinda strange." He muttered. "Don't remember paying THAT much for the private dance!" He chuckled to himself at the joke he'd made. The strangers staring down at him didn't seem to find it as funny.
"Ah. There's that sense of humor I've missed." A stranger dressed in a spandex costume said. On his chest was a large D surrounded with a yellow circle. He was wearing a bow tie pinned to his neck and a green cape stuck to his back. "Do you know who we are?"
"Girl scouts?" Sharpshot asked with a look of disinterest. "Hey what happened to Crystal and Sapphire? 'Cause last I remember I was-"
"Ew! Gross!" One of the strangers yelled. "Don't even mention that! I really don't want to remember it!" The man gave a look of disgust while his friend nodded slowly in agreement. It took a second before Sharpshot realized what they meant.
"Wait a sec... are you guys... shapeshifters?!" He almost yelled. The silence was answer enough. "OH MY GOD! WHAT HAVE I DONE?! WHAT KIND OF MONSTERS DO THAT TO PEOPLE?!!" Sharpshot started rocking the chair he was tied to in terror. "WHY?! WHY WOULD Y-"
"Enough!" The green caped man yelled. "How do you not remember me?! We're arch enemies!" The man said with a look of disappointment. Sharpshot slowly shook his head.
"Doctor Doom?" Sharpshot asked with a frown.
"No! How do you not remember me?! It's me! Doctor Domestic! We've fought a bunch of times! I blew up your house!"
"Yeah... so did Ben Kingsley." Sharpshot replied with a sigh.
"You shot me in the arm! I had to have surgery for Seven hours! Hell! You stole my girlfriend from me!" Doctor Domestic gave a look of pure hatred at Sharpshot. "How do you not remember?" He asked sadly.
"Because..." Sharpshot said slowly. "I... AM A SUPERHERO!" He stood up easily tearing the ropes apart. He raised his arms into the air and cheered. "And... possibly suffering a hangover." He sighed as he sat back down. "Do any of you guys have a painkiller or something?" He asked. Doctor Domestic pulled a gun out of his utility belt and placed it on Sharpshot's forehead.
"This should kill the pain!" He said with an evil smile. He waited a second for a witty retort. "...Aren't you going to insult me?" He asked with a puzzled look.
"Look dude. This is a fan fiction! Of which I am one of the main characters! I'm PUURRRRTTTTY sure I'm not gonna die! Especially not in the first issue of a major crossover event!" Sharpshot burped catching him by surprise. "Sorry. Must be the alcohol talking." Sharpshot muttered. "Anyway! Considering my experience I bet you... my 5 seasons of Breaking Bad that something is going to interrupt this scene"
Doctor Domestic smiled. "It's a deal!" His finger tightened over the trigger.
"WHAT THE FACK?!" Domestic yelled as the side of the warehouse wall exploded sending the two shapeshifters flying.
"Told ya..." Sharpshot muttered as he glanced around lazily. Doctor Domestic aimed the gun towards the wall with a frown. After a few seconds a figure covered in shadow stepped through the hole.
"Oh ALLLLIIICCCEEE! Where are YOOOUUUU?" Killer Rabbit yelled in a sing-song voice as she skipped casually into the warehouse. A rocket launcher hanging casually on her shoulder.
She glanced around at everyone with a look of complete insanity. "Oh hey!"She said as she started to smile. "Nice to see you! Unless you''re not real... in which case... nice to imagine you!" She sighed as she slumped to the ground. "Have any of you seen Alice?"
"Who the hell are you?!" Doctor Domestic yelled angrily. His pistol aimed at Killer Rabbit's chest. He waited a second for an answer. However all he received was Rabbit muttering 'Alice' under her breath.
"Hey jerk." Sharpshot said. Doctor Domestic turned round as Sharpshot's foot smashed him in the face knocking him to the ground. "Maybe you shouldn't turn your back on the guy you were trying to kill." Sharpshot said as the Doctor slipped into unconsciousness. "Hi there!" Sharpshot said as he turned towards the Rabbit. She looked up at him with a crazy look in her eyes. "Thanks for the rescue there! Like the ears!" Killer Rabbit stood up slowly causing Sharpshot to stare in surprise. "Nice costume!" Sharpshot said with a smile. "As in.. you're not wearing one! And you're pretty hot!" Sharpshot waited awkwardly for a reply. "Nice ears!" He said again.
"Are you... Alice?" Killer Rabbit asked as she stared at Sharpshot with large, open eyes.
"Alice? As in Alice in Wonderland? As in Lewis Carol? Am I Alice?" Sharpshot looked at himself in confusion. "Well... I'm not wearing a sexy blue dress..." He pulled his mask off and stroked his hair. "And I'm not blonde. I'm actually brown haired if you were wondering Wildvine! And..." He pulled out his wallet from his pocket and pulled out a picture of a black fluffy dog. "I've never had a cat in my life!" Sharpshot's eyes widened. "Oh! Perhaps I'm the Mad Hatter!"
"Not... Alice?"Killer Rabbit said slowly. Her head was slightly shaking slowly.
"Ooh! Are you the Easter Bunny? Cause I sure as hell would like an egg from you! ...how do Bunnies lay eggs?"
"Bunny?" Killer Rabbit replied slowly, sounding more confused then manic now. "No. Rabbit. Rabbits were Alice's favorite. You're not Alice, but maybe you will be if I get all that ugly skin off you..." She pulled two long knives from her jacket.
"Aw crap..." Sharpshot muttered slowly. "Why do I always get the crossover events?"
To be continued!
Sharpshot owned by Me.
Killer Rabbit owned by @wildvine