Red Tool: One Shot

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Guardiandevil83

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#1  Edited By Guardiandevil83

"What do you mean you're outta beef?!"

Red Tool stood in line at the nearest Deli to his apartment.

The line had been quite long, however he presevered, now after nearly an hour he had finally made the register, however, it all seemed to be in vain.

"You heard me. I got chicken, fish and some kinda vegan meat alternative," The butcher said with a grimace, "Sorry, PETA makes me sale that crap. But like I was saying, I ain't got no beef."

"But.. but I really wanted taco salad!"

"Sorry man," the butcher replied with a shrug. "Nothing I can do."

Defeated, the costumed soldier dropped his shoulders, and sighed, as Red Tool turned to leave, he was stopped in his tracks by the arrival of a white skinned, tatooted, green haired newcomer.

A local hood calling himself "The Baby Joker." No one knew for sure if his claims to be the Joker's kid were true, and, in reality, nobody gave a damn. But people didn't want to run the risk of it actually being fact. So nobody stepped in to put a stop to his nonsense.

Until just that afternoon. Until Red Tool moved into Bludhaven.

"Well what do we have here Mr meaty man!" Shouted Baby Joker, "Did I hear you right? Uh? You ain't got no beef?! You ain't got no beef?!"

"Aw c'mon BJ I don't want any trouble."

"Yes, well, maybe trouble wants you!" Baby Joker pulls out a small thirty two and waved it above his head, oblivious to the costumed crimefigter standing no more than four feet away. "Let's get this party started!'

"Yeah, let's dance Jared Leto!"

"Uh.."

TWACK!

With a mighty swing Red Tool cracks the imitation clown across the head with a baton he'd had strapped to his back. Normally, he'd have cut the idiots head off, but he was trying to be a kinder, gentler, Red Tool.

The green haired hood spun in place like a professional ice skater before slamming into a display of fake sausages. The gun falling harmlessly from his hands.

"Well, that was boring," sighed Red Tool as he scooped up the pistol, taking the gun into his free hand, popped it open to check for bullets, then angrily tossed it to the ground in front of the fallen goon. "Damn, guns faker than his tatoos."

"Thanks Red, uh, you think I should call the cops?"

"Why? Just take a few photos and make sure they go viral," Red Tool placed his baton back in place and began walking towards the door, stopping to say, "Besides that whole gangster rapper, Joker thing is punishment on it's own."

The End.

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cbishop

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Guardiandevil83

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@cbishop: It just came to me. I actually liked his portrayal. But I haven't written in a while so the idea box is rusty. Lol

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#5  Edited By Guardiandevil83

@cbishop: I liked him since I saw him in Harley's book and just wanted to something with him.

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@guardiandevil83: Ah, so he's an established character. I hadn't heard of him, so wasn't sure if he was original or not.