June Parker opened her email account, and was not in the least surprised to see an email from her roommate, and partner Punky.
She wouldn't email just to say 'hey.' Something had gone wrong. The credit cards were maxed out again, or the house had been converted to a shelter for homeless animals, again. June was convinced there was still a loose raccoon somewhere in the house, in spite of Punky's insistence that they were all gone. "You said I could have a pet." She had whined that day, "And they were homeless..."
'They' Were a family of a dozen raccoons.
"They're wild animals! The wild is they're home! And I said you could have a goldfish Punky." June had explained patiently, if a not a little annoyed that she had to replace her couch, again.
"Raccoons are kinda like goldfish. Big, furry goldfish." She grinned, revealing a set of fangs that looked amiss on her slim, pretty face. For an undead predator, Punky had a soft spot for the living. Especially animals.
'Its fine. If she's online, then the house is probably intact. Probably.'
Taking a deep breath, she opened the message.
Email: To June Parker.
Wait, do you start emails like that? Or is that just letters? I'm going to google email etiquette after this. Also, the origins of forks. Right, soo, whats up? Enjoying Florida? Getting plenty of sun? Ooh! Idea! A photo book of sunburned old peeps. I had the idea a while back, but not a lot of sunburned old peeps out at night ya know? C'mon June! We'll split the profit. (Vampire face) ---> : C
That's not really why I'm emailing you. Well, not totally anyway, but think about the photo book kk? Yeah, so, I'm working a case now. Grave defiling. Also eating. Had to stake a few of these peeps to keep them from coming back as, ya know, like me. So, heavy juju if they're trying to walk after being munched, right? So, probably a Ghul yeah? Hope so. Really hope its not a witch, eeeyuck.
KK, gonna go stake out the bone yard. Get it? Stake out? Ha! Morbid vampire humor.
Well, if Punky was on a case, then she had something to keep herself distracted. Which was important. A bored Punky was a dangerous thing. Like a poodle with a stick of dynamite. A ghul in Skyblake was an odd occurrence though. A magic user was unlikely, given the eating. Unless it was a hoggoth, which was basically a cannibal witch, or wizard. Hoggoth's usually preferred fresh meat though. Ghul fit the profile.
June felt a little bit sorry for Punky. For a vampire, the girl was strangely squeamish about grave yards.
Email: To Punky
From: June Parker
Punky, you can start an email anyway you want, Its like texting. No to the photo book. Just...no. According to what you told me, it does sound like a ghul. If its raising walkers just through contact, then its a type two ghul. Incoporeal. A spirit form, in other words. Take the silver lined knife. Don't cut yourself this time. Remember, as a vampire, you are very, very allergic to silver. Try not to be seen. And be careful, ghul's can be nasty things. Keep me updated.
The minute she hit send, she regretted it. Punky would email her now, about every single thing that crossed her mind, under the pretense of 'updating'. She traded her reading glasses for sun glasses, and walked to the beach. She was on vacation, she was not going to worry about Punky. Or the house, or anything.
A very burned old man walked past her spot, and she found herself thinking about a coffee table book, of interesting sunburns on old people.
'Good grief, she's in my head now.' She forced all thought's of Punky, and red skinned senior citizens from her mind, and focused on her own tan.
Later that night....
Email: To June Parker
Subject: Re: Re: Hey
KK, this was weird. Even for us. It was a ghul alright. But I sliced him Julianne style, like supernatural fries. Oooh! Good idea! That's not the weirdy bit though. This thing wasn't digging up the dead peeps. It was lurking by an empty grave, just waiting like. Before I could unleash my vampire karate on this thing, a white van pulls up. Like the kind creeps always drive, ya know? What's up with that anyway?
This two coats jump out and toss the body into the grave, then peel out. Then, as I mentioned already, I went all Kung fu: The legend of Punky, on the thing. Btw, does ectoplasm wash out? Cause its all over your black t-shirt now. Don't be mad. I needed something black to wear for cameo. I think they were feeding this guy to hide what they were doing, which apparently, was harvesting organs.
Coat one and, two don't know I killed their pet, so I figure they will be back tomorrow. So I guess I'm gonna be out there tomorrow too. So, any thought's on this late breaking weirdness?
June did have some thoughts. None of them good. Two coats, Punky had called them. Guys wearing lab coats no doubt. Not just slashers then. No. It sounded like the cult of Frankenstein had surfaced again. She and Punky had dealt with theses creeps before. They were obsessed with replicating Victor Frankenstein's one successful case of reanimation. Of course, the ghul was probably a wandering spirit that the Cult of F had waylaid, then kept it around with easy meals, to hide the organ thefts. Pretty crafty actually.
Email: To Punky
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Hey
From: June Parker.
Punky, you do not have vampire karate. Also, lots of business'es use white vans, like floral shops. That's besides the point. Why were you wearing my shirt? I know for a fact, you have a closet full of black clothes. Yes it will wash out. Soak it in holy water immediately. About the guys in coats though, its the Cult of F, as you probably thought of already. And no, they will not be back till a fresh body is buried. In the mean time, start looking for possible hideouts. Hit the Coffin for info, and be careful.
Skyblake was a windy, coastal town. Quiet, picturesque. Also a nexus of weirdness. And when that weirdness got thirsty, it went to the Coffin. Punky did not like the Coffin. It was a place emo vampires hung out. Those sad peeps who had given up on having any kind of normal life. Sad really. Not sad like, sympathy. Sad like you wanted to avoid them, or risk catching their gloom. Punky wasn't like that. She imbraced life, or unlife rather.
The place was dark, and dirty, and smelled like self pity. The dark was not a problem for her, being a vampire and all. But the ambiance simply had to go. 'Bring me to life' was actually playing on the jukebox, for crying out loud.
"What a sad puddle of posers." Punky muttered to herself, knowing everyone in the bar could hear her. She walked brazenly to the jukebox and dropped her quarter. She selected a song that better fit her life outlook. "That's more like it."
"Hey princess, I was listening to that." A pale hand with long, black nails fell on her shoulder. Gross. When has old peep nails ever been fashionable?
"Careful there Hans, you'll break a nail." She said calmly, and evenly. The vampire behind her took her tone as submissive, and tightened his grip on her shoulder. Bad idea. Lightning fast, even for a vampire, she grabbed his hand, and jerked him forward. She drove her left arm into his chest hard enough to stop his heart, had it been beating. Then she smashed her fist back, busting his fangs out. They would grow back, but none of his friends would hassle her now.
"KK then. I need the 411 on the Frankenstein boys." She shoved the Twilight reject back to his buddies. "Now, normally I do this good cop/bad cop style. But the good cop is in Florida. So, what's the deal for real?" The bar is silent. Even the song has stopped. Then she hears it. A faint heart beat. Totally out of place here. Scanning the scene, her vampire hearing targets the sound coming from a back corner booth. Of course it would be him....Dexter Campbell.
"Dex! As I don't live or breath! Bit cliche, sitting in the back corner booth, don't ya think? Plus, aren't booths for parties of three or more?" She dropped across from him without awaiting a reply.
"Pardon me for not adhering to the movie script in you mind Punky." He replied dryly. Dexter Campbell was a Dhampir. A half breed, in vampire circles. Half vampire, half human. He was also a monster slayer for hire. He had almost killed her once, years ago, when she was walking the dark side. Quite a feat for half a vampire. Punky respected that. She also dug his gunslinger outfit.
"I'm looking for the 'steiners' Dexy, help a girl out. Hold on...Barkeep! Bag of blood over here, type A, low fat please." She turned back around, "So then...about that info..."
"You know me better then that Punky." He smiled, or frowned a little less, which was his version of a smile. "Information isn't free."
"Mmmm, I got Discover card. Cause they give cards to anyone." She rifled through her purse.
"I don't take plastic Punky."
"Good, cause I think its maxed anyway. I got...um...ten dollars."
"That's a dollar with a zero drawn on it."
"Ooh, someone works at a bank. C'mon Dex! Throw me a bone. I will tote's owe you big." She pouted, something very hard to pull off with fangs.
"Frankensteiner's are very old school. If they were resurrecting a body, they would rely on lightning. Which requires a tower..." He let it hang in the air.
"What is the radio station!" Punky almost yelled, as she hit the table with her hand. Dex raised an eyebrow questioningly. "Sorry. I had a Jeopardy moment."
"Right. Well, this has been different. But I'm actually meeting a client. So..."
"Gosh Dex, what a chatter box you've become! Love to stay and gab, but that's what Facebook is for. Oh, you should tote's friend me. I'm Punkgirl26. Gonna go get a radio show now, and maybe save the world. Peace out Dexy!"
"Peace out Punky." He replied quietly after she had left. "And good luck."