Poker Night!

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Undergroundgod

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#1  Edited By Undergroundgod

Death: I have been at this for a very, very long time, but it's the momments like this that make it worth while. As I stand here on the end of this dock, and smoke my cigarette, I look across this lake I see a white house with green shutters and a wrap around deck. Up in the top floor window I see a little girl holding what I assume is the family pet cat, a white cat with a pink bow on its little fat head. I look at my check list and read a name "Anabelle." I finish this smooth smoke and drop it into the lake, then I make my way across the lake. There are benifits to being The Grim Reaper, one of which is mobility, sure I could just will myself into the room, but I enjoy walking, and I always do what I enjoy. 
 

Inside Gods House -  A group of well known people gather for poker night. The group of which is made up of Jesus, Superman, Santa Cluas, The Easter Bunny, Cupid, and The Tooth Fairy, God is in the kitchen making cookies for everyone, he has a Kiss the Cook apron on. The group is waiting on a late arrival, as they make small talk. 
 
Jesus: Well look at the time, and look a empty chair, every time we do this, who is always the last one to show? 
 
Santa: I thought we agreed last year that we just wasn't going to invite a certain person to this years game? 
 
Superman: Me, you guys are talking about me, arent you? 
 
Jesus: No, Superman we wouldn't dream of doing that to you, look around the room, who is not here?

 

The Easter Bunny: I'm here. 
 

Santa: You don't say. I thought It was these amazing cookies that J.C.'s daddy made us, that had me seeing a seven foot tall, four foot wide, pink and blue talking easter bunny. 

The Easter Bunny just stares blankly at Santa. 

The Easter Bunny: Really?

 

Santa: No, not really you retard! 
 
God: You boys ready for some more cookies? 
 
Santa:Yes! 
 
Jesus looks up at the clock on the wall.

 

Jesus: Where the hell is that ass, I want to get this game started already? 
 

Back in town, Death is heading towards his next mark. 
 
Death: As I walk down the side walk, I see my next stop. I read the big glowing neon sign it say "The Foxy Box." A strip club right smake dab in the middle of this little town, thats a little weird even for what I am used too. I go in. 

Back at Gods House. 
  
The Tooth Fairy: So I was in this kids room, and I got the Tooth in hand while... 
 
The Easter Bunny: Was there any colorful eggs in his room? 
 
The Tooth Fairy: First of Peter Cotton Tail, it is rude to ask questions while some one is telling you a story. And second you are getting my gig mixed up with your stupid little holiday again. 
 
Santa: Like anybody cares about your tooth story Hector, its the same damn story every year, the only reason good old Pete over there listens to your lame ass story is because he is, well...stupid.  

Jesus: Chris, really man for my sake, leave poor old Peter alone, its not his fault he is a talking bunny, and news flash your a Saint for my sake.   
 
Santa: Oh just because I am a Saint, I have to be some kind of goody little two shoes, and knock it off with the for my sake crap, we all know your Christ. 
 
Jesus: Superman, can you see where our late arrival is? 
 
Superman: Let me see... Yep. 
 
Jesus: Well?

 

Superman: Well, what? 
 
Santa: He wants to know where Death is, Clark...God. 
 
God: Did some one need me?

 

Santa: Sorry God, I forgot you were here. 
 
God: No big deal, everyone does. 
 
Superman:You know I was just thinking, you guys all know who I am, who I really am, I'm just not used to it... is all.

 

Death: Hi everyone, sorry I am late. 
 
Jesus: No, you are not. 
 
Death just pokes Jesus in the shoulder. Jesus's head falls dead onto the poker table, and then a few momments later he springs back to life. 

Jesus: I hate it when you do that, I can't die you moron! 

 

Death pokes him in the shoulder again, and again his head falls dead onto the poker table. 
 
Jesus: Everyone is here now, can we just play some fucking cards? 
 
Death is chuckling you can't hear him but you know, because he looks like he is. 
 
Cupid: Are we playing hearts?

 
Everyone shoots Cupid, a shut the hell up look. 
 
Death has a pink ribbon in his hands, and is playing with it. 

 Jesus: Oh that is a nice pink ribbon where did you get that? 

Death: From a cat. 

God: Who's  ready for some more cookies?   
 
Santa: I am!

 
The End.
 

 

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#2  Edited By sweatboy

HA HA! laughed my ass off! (except for the killing the cat part) "
 
Death just pokes Jesus in the shoulder. Jesus's head falls dead onto the poker table, and then a few momments later he springs back to life. 

Jesus: I hate it when you do that, I can't die you moron! 

Death pokes him in the arm again.
HA HA HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA 
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Undergroundgod

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#3  Edited By Undergroundgod
@sweatboy said:
"HA HA! laughed my ass off! (except for the killing the cat part) "
 
Death just pokes Jesus in the shoulder. Jesus's head falls dead onto the poker table, and then a few momments later he springs back to life. 

Jesus: I hate it when you do that, I can't die you moron! 

Death pokes him in the arm again.
HA HA HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA  "


Would you have liked it better if Death killed the little girl instead?
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Gjelaj212

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#4  Edited By Gjelaj212

HAHAHAAAA GREAT FRIGGIN STORY MAN. 
 

The Easter Bunny: I'm here. 
 

Santa: You don't say. I thought It was these amazing cookies that J.C.'s daddy made us, that had me seeing a seven foot tall, four foot wide, pink and blue talking easter bunny. 

The Easter Bunny just stares blankly at Santa. 

The Easter Bunny: Really?

 

I was laughing so hard when i read that...i just hope i don't get fired! But this story was worth me losing my job loll

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Undergroundgod

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#5  Edited By Undergroundgod
@Gjelaj212 said:
"HAHAHAAAA GREAT FRIGGIN STORY MAN. 
 

The Easter Bunny: I'm here. 
 

Santa: You don't say. I thought It was these amazing cookies that J.C.'s daddy made us, that had me seeing a seven foot tall, four foot wide, pink and blue talking easter bunny. 

The Easter Bunny just stares blankly at Santa. 

The Easter Bunny: Really?

 

I was laughing so hard when i read that...i just hope i don't get fired! But this story was worth me losing my job loll

"

Thanks man.