One More Chance Redux

Beginning Chapter (Rough)

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Here goes: Peter and Mary Jane are back together (courtesy of Nick Spencer). They've been together a while (several months) and so far its been great. Then Peter starts recalling his past with Mary Jane, how there was a lot of will they won't they, a lot of close calls, a lot of on and off. It all goes back to what would have been his wedding day and his unforgivable screw up by not attending (curse you OMIT). When Peter tries to have a more serious talk with Mary Jane about them and their future, Mary Jane deflects.

One day Peter confronts Mary Jane wanting to discuss their renewed relationship and its goals. Mary Jane tries to reassure Peter but doesn't give ground on being more serious relationship goals or anything, she's trying to keep things as they are. Peter expresses that he doesn't just want to be with Mary Jane and not plan for life together, not taking the bigger step. He tells her he's always regretted how he screwed up on their wedding day as that was the eventful moment in their lives that changed their relationship forever. But Peter just doesn't want to be with Mary Jane knowing their relationship won't amount to anything more than just being lovers again and with Mary Jane not responding he leaves.

Mary Jane slowly drops to the floor and says that she knows what Peter means. But that she can't go through with what he wants, what she also wants for fear of the death of their loved ones. For fear of the death of May Parker because of the deal with Mephisto. In here she confirms she remembers everything (kinda like Iris in the last Flash comic) about her past life married to Peter. She looks up and says that there's something else more important than even May's life that's keeping her from divulging what she knows. In front of her is an apparition of Mephisto with a young redheaded girl in his possession. Its her and Peter's daughter, the one they would have had if they hadn't made the deal with Mephisto.

The girl, whom Mary Jane called Anna May Parker, was born to her shortly after she left Peter for California after his identity had been restored. Mary Jane was pregnant by that time and had a healthy baby girl in secret in LA. This period was an intersection, a space time distortion between the Married Timeline, what would have happened if they hadn't dealt with Mephisto, and the Altered Timeline, in which they didn't marry but she became pregnant by this time nonetheless. Both these timelines were occurring at the same time. A point of convergence. And this was Mephisto's true stake in his desire for Peter and Mary Jane's unconditional love, their fated child, the embodiment of a love so powerful it stems from TOAA. When Mary Jane had the child, she was taken away by Mephisto who went on to tamper with Mary Jane's memories and remove any trace of her birth.

Mary Jane regained her memories of everything, her marriage to Peter, the birth of her daughter, when she and Peter rekindled their relationship. Mephisto did this purposefully to keep her in line and maintain the pact with him lest he loses the greatest prize he has ever acquired.

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I'm sold on the title alone.

great work man

@eto: Cool! Any feedback you wish to impart? On what you liked, disliked or how to proceed!?

@eto:

MJ deflects and refuses more commitment because if she completely renews herself to Peter and get remarried or something, then May will die because the deal will be broken and Annie who is in Mephisto's possession will be lost to her forever.

Its Annie instead of Mayday. MJ lost Mayday canonically and Annie is the child they would have had if OMD hadn't happened.

There will be a Peter/MJ/Mephisto standoff. Also in my story Mephisto has their daughter and May's life force and their matrimony. So what you say you want is after they've defeated Mephisto.

@ursaber: awesome

@eto:

You don't have your own OMD killers?

Nice

Any feedback you wish to impart?

@ursaber: Not really, your solution to OMD looks pretty good to me.

@animehunter, @zariusii, @marvelman92, @eto

Well I'm stuck at the beginning. I still don't have a proper middle and end.

I suppose the middle part would involve Mary Jane trying to somehow communicate to Peter that she remembers their marriage and life together without Mephisto finding out. Peter is still ticked that MJ is noncommittal but still understands and sympathizes with.

I'm thinking of having Doctor Strange play a role here. Maybe with his help Mephisto's magic can be warded off temporarily. I think I'd also have Mary Jane confess everything to May since she's the prime reason for the OMD deal and the assured casualty which would lead to May wanting to sacrifice herself for Peter and Mary Jane's future and their daughter.

But I don't know how to put it into paragraphs or a story sequence.

Further thoughts or feedback?

@ursaber: I'm like you on that front, I can come up with pretty cool plots and ideas, but when it comes to writing dialogue, I just can't do it, I can't place the words, just ideas.

@eto: @thor_parker82:

Here's an idea for the second part. Mary Jane and Mephisto have a disturbing conversation about the deal and keeping her in line. Mary Jane needs to find some way of communicating everything to Peter without Mephisto knowing. She decides to instead talk to Aunt May and confide in her everything how her life hangs in the balance and the truth about her marriage to Peter.

... That's all I gots!

@ursaber: I know that isn't your intention, but one could think or misinterpret that MJ is secretly trying to guilt Aunt May into giving her life in exchange for her marriage back, and that is something MJ would never do.

That is the exact intention. Aunt May is old. She should have died already and made way for new life.

If Peter or Mary Jane have to choose between the life of Aunt May and the life of their living daughter, they would choose their daughter. If they chose otherwise they'd be horrible people and even Aunt May would despise them.

I don't know man, I just don't see MJ telling Aunt May she should die already, though I didn't think of their daughter, just their marriage, that changes things.

Aunt May is like, say a loophole for Mary Jane and her demonic predicament. The one she can't get back together with or make aware of her whole scenario is Peter because he's the other half of their once in a millennium love that Mephisto wants.

Considering she and Peter made a deal with the devil to preserve her life but that its now cost her her own future with Peter and the life of her living daughter in the possession of a demon, I'd say that changes things. And its not like she's telling Aunt May to die but to reveal the truth to her.

Aunt May would give her life in a split second for Mary Jane, Peter and her granddaughter. Hell if she found out that Peter and her made a Faustian pact with Mephisto to keep her alive in exchange for their marriage, future, happiness and progeny, she would be absolutely horrified. She would be the first to say that her old life is not worth that of Peter's or MJ's or their future and happiness.

On that, I absolutely agree with you.

But what about the rest?

I like the self sacrifice part on Aunt May, it is completely in character, what I'm not sure about is MJ telling her, the more I think about it the more it makes sense because her daughter is at play, but the way you make MJ bring up that conversation to May is what will make it good or bad IMO.

Any thoughts on how I might approach that?

Maybe Mary Jane is feeling distraught and suddenly gets a call from May who is aware that she and Peter are back together. While snacking with May and talking, May brings up how she's always hoped she and Peter would end up together and start a life. This in turn makes Mary Jane emotionally conflicted so much so that she tells her everything about the deal.

How's that?

Much better, that way it doesn't feel like MJ is trying to make May feel guilty, she is just letting out something that is killing her inside.

This is perfect. Exactly the wording I wanted to use.

So, premise for One More Chance.

• Peter and Mary Jane are back together, but after months of reunion, Peter starts to recall his history with Mary Jane and why things ended last time and how he screwed up his wedding day which in retrospect feels odd (OMD temporal alteration influx here). He confides this with Mary Jane how he wants more out of their relationship than just dating and being together with no plans for a future or life together. Mary Jane does not reciprocate prompting Peter to leave. We then see Mary Jane admit she wants more too, that she wants it back because she remembers they were married and had a life together. But she can't bring herself to undergo that for fear of Aunt May's life and now the life of her daughter in Mephisto's grasp whom he's using against Mary Jane in order to maintain the devil deal.
  
  
• Spider-Man swings around New York thinking about what recently transpired and how he can convince Mary Jane to give their relationship another chance for a future and life together. He is summoned by Doctor Strange who senses mystical energies permeating New York and requires his assistance. Mary Jane gets a call from May inviting her to lunch. After a conversation where May brings up her hopes for Peter and Mary Jane's relationship, MJ can't hold back what's killing her inside and confesses everything to May, the deal with Mephisto to save her life and the life of her daughter and that she and Peter were married.
  
  
• And for this act, both Peter and Mary Jane's stories would collide, with Doctor Strange's help they would combat Mephisto, get their daughter back but at the cost of Aunt May's life who willingly sacrifices her life force to sever the pact between her nephew and the demon. Well... something along those lines.

@ursaber:

• Peter and Mary Jane are back together, but after months of reunion, Peter starts to recall his history with Mary Jane and why things ended last time and how he screwed up his wedding day which in retrospect feels odd (OMD temporal alteration influx here). He confides this with Mary Jane how he wants more out of their relationship than just dating and being together with no plans for a future or life together. Mary Jane does not reciprocate prompting Peter to leave. We then see Mary Jane admit she wants more too, that she wants it back because she remembers they were married and had a life together. But she can't bring herself to undergo that for fear of Aunt May's life and now the life of her daughter in Mephisto's grasp whom he's using against Mary Jane in order to maintain the devil deal.

So far, very good, I like it.

• Spider-Man swings around New York thinking about what recently transpired and how he can convince Mary Jane to give their relationship another chance for a future and life together. He is summoned by Doctor Strange who senses mystical energies permeating New York and requires his assistance. Mary Jane gets a call from May inviting her to lunch. After a conversation where May brings up her hopes for Peter and Mary Jane's relationship, MJ can't hold back what's killing her inside and confesses everything to May, the deal with Mephisto to save her life and the life of her daughter and that she and Peter were married.

At this point, May doesn't know Peter is Spider-Man, so MJ would also be telling her that on top of her nephew being Spider-Man, they made a deal with the devil to save her life, but that costed their daughter, poor Aunt May, that's too much to wrap your head around in a meeting that was supposed to be a simple lunch hehe.

• And for this act, both Peter and Mary Jane's stories would collide, with Doctor Strange's help they would combat Mephisto, get their daughter back but at the cost of Aunt May's life who willingly sacrifices her life force to sever the pact between her nephew and the demon. Well... something along those lines.

Great, I just hope that when May exchanges her life, she doesn't end up with Mephisto having her soul, she should just go to heaven and rest in peace knowing that she lived a good life, finally reuniting with both Jay and Ben (would be kind of weird and funny though :P)

That's the end game for May. Going to the afterlife with Ben. I don't know how I'm gonna save her soul from being snatched by Mephisto since he did save her life after all.

Another idea I had was"

1. A simple time travel adventure that sends him to the past, exactly to the day he was supposed to marry MJ and knowing how he screws up, makes it so that the then-Spider-Man isn't struck by a brick and makes it back to wedding.

That's an easier but somewhat un-original idea, it's a good solution, but doesn't have much room for a good story, if you know what I mean.

But at this point I'd take the simple solution if that means the disaster that was OMD and OMIT go away lol.

@thor_parker82:

Me too. BTW, don't you have your own concept of how the two might get remarried?

Not really, I'm not much into making fan-fics, so I have never really given much thought as to how I would solve OMD.

@thor_parker82:

Out of curiosity, is there anything, any nitpick, any behavior, character trait or mannerism of Spider-Man/Peter Parker that you do not like?

I don't like when writers make Peter act like a man-child or that he never appreciates what he has in front of him due to having his mind on spider related problems, another annoying thins is that sometimes the Parker luck is just too much to the point that you stop enjoying reading about Peter's life and just genuinely feel bad for the guy.

It also annoyed the hell out of me how when he was in high school, every single time he tried to stand up for himself against Flash and his croonies, some dumb shit happened that made Peter look like a coward or something along those lines, I would have loved to see Peter put Flash in his place, you can't imagine the smile I had on my face when he actually did that in the Ultimate Universe and broke Thompson's hand.

@thor_parker82:

I don't like when writers make Peter act like a man-child or that he never appreciates what he has in front of him due to having his mind on spider related problems, another annoying thins is that sometimes the Parker luck is just too much to the point that you stop enjoying reading about Peter's life and just genuinely feel bad for the guy.

I agree 110 percent. In fact, I stated this a short while ago:

My problem with Peter in older stories was that he never compartmentalized, he never administered his double life effectively despite having been in the superhero business for years on end. He also has a serious problem that he runs away from his problems and responsibilities to escape as Spider-Man. And he doesn't know when NOT to be Spider-Man. He also didn't take into serious account the feelings of his loved ones either, especially on Mary Jane. He was also plenty inconsiderate with Mary Jane knowing how she'd rather have more Peter Parker than Spider-Man but showing up as Spidey instead of changing first and asking about her before himself. And when he's not in costume all he can talk about is his superhero life and he dares to complain about not being enough Peter Parker time when he is the reason that is so. And he never learns. He experiences these negative traits over and over and never fricking learns.

He's just this naive, humble/modest dork.

I also one hundred and ten percent agree on the Parker Luck. Seeing Peter always failing to get cash or getting thrown out of his apartment, or generally anything that affects his living conditions that drastically, especially with MJ, it becomes too overbearing. And that last part about Parker luck being too much that one stops enjoying reading Peter and Spider-Man and genuinely feel bad for him, that is my exact perception on 90's Spider-Man and mid to late 80's Spider-Man.

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It also annoyed the hell out of me how when he was in high school, every single time he tried to stand up for himself against Flash and his croonies, some dumb shit happened that made Peter look like a coward or something along those lines, I would have loved to see Peter put Flash in his place, you can't imagine the smile I had on my face when he actually did that in the Ultimate Universe and broke Thompson's hand.

Well my answer to that is that the high school years of Peter Parker didn't last more than 30 issues. I think it was the first 28 or 29 when he finally graduated. And USM high school Peter is much better.

@ursaber:

I also one hundred and ten percent agree on the Parker Luck. Seeing Peter always failing to get cash or getting thrown out of his apartment, or generally anything that affects his living conditions that drastically, especially with MJ, it becomes too overbearing. And that last part about Parker luck being too much that one stops enjoying reading Peter and Spider-Man and genuinely feel bad for him, that is my exact perception on 90's Spider-Man and mid to late 80's Spider-Man.

I need to read some 90s Spider-Man, haven't really read his comics from that period, as for the 80s, while there were plenty of moments of Parker luck, there were also plenty of good moments, I enjoy 80s Spider-Man a lot, in fact, I enjoy Spider-Man regardless of the era, I love the character, of course there are better times than others, but there is always something good and worth reading.

Well my answer to that is that the high school years of Peter Parker didn't last more than 30 issues. I think it was the first 28 or 29 when he finally graduated. And USM high school Peter is much better.

Doesn't change that it was frustrating af haha.

@thor_parker82:

I need to read some 90s Spider-Man, haven't really read his comics from that period, as for the 80s, while there were plenty of moments of Parker luck, there were also plenty of good moments, I enjoy 80s Spider-Man a lot, in fact, I enjoy Spider-Man regardless of the era, I love the character, of course there are better times than others, but there is always something good and worth reading.

Well, from 1990 to 1993 (about three trimesters cause the last trimester of 1993 is Spider-Man being the insane Peter Parker No More) is a good year for Spidey. Both for just plain old Spidey and Spider-Marriage. There's also the BOON of Todd McFarlane's art.

The general consensus among comic readers and pros is that Spider-Man was at his best during the 80's. It was an era of expansion, change and development. It was the last decade where new memorable villains appeared like Hobgoblin and Venom with the 90's sole villain introduction being Carnage.

There are TWO eras or rather THREE where I cannot bear Spider-Man. The mid 1990's with the whole Clone Saga fiasco, Peter is the Clone, etc. The late 1990's with Norman's return and then the Howard Mackie run which was thankfully brief and finally the era I have heard about but will never read, Brand New Day.

Doesn't change that it was frustrating af haha.

But at least it doesn't last long in comparison to the other thousands of Spider-Man comics.