Now a Message from Our Sponsor: Turner D. Century Cigarettes.

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stumpy49er

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#1  Edited By stumpy49er

“..and that concludes our broadcast of Chattanooga Boogie here on Old Timey Radio. Next, stayed tuned for another exciting installment of Sergeant Fury and His Howling Commandos; as narrated by actual Howling Commando himself, Jonathon Juniper. But first a message from our sponsor:"

Turner D. Century Cigarettes.

The Way Smoking Used To Be!

“Hi! I’m Clifford F. Michaels, founder of Turner D. Century Cigarettes. Some of you may remember me from my more colorful days as the costumed crime fighter Turner D. Century. Ha ha, recognize the name? You may have seen footage of me on my flying bicycle or tussling in the streets of San Francisco with that fearsome menace, Spider-Woman.

After years of fighting crime and lax morals, I’ve since given up my crime fighting ways, after one fateful night I had in a Bar with No Name. It was my intention to gather information on the scoundrels of this bar, so that I could bring these criminals to justice, but before I could, I was shot by a serial killer known as Scourge.

Those were dark days for yours truly folks. While I lay in my hospitable bed recovering from my wounds, I came upon a revelation. Instead of fighting crime and the loose morals of today’s youth with just a flying bicycle and an umbrella, I could fight it as a business man.

That’s when I founded my very own cigarette company. A company dedicated to the morals of yesterday; the morals of the turn of the century. Heh heh no, not this century folks. Last century. The early 1900’s.

Did you know that in the early 1900’s, cigarettes were the largest growing enterprise in America? Now, that was a time when people had decency, good morals, and great taste.

When you smoke a Turner D. Century cigarette, you’ll take a trip back to a simpler time. A time when a man could smoke wherever he wanted and he didn’t have any nancy boys telling him it was ‘bad for his health’ or ‘cancerous’.

Take back the America that once was. Stand up to these nancy boys who tell you not to smoke.

Grab a pack of Turner D. Century Cigarettes.

The Way Smoking Used to Be!"

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stumpy49er

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#2  Edited By stumpy49er

The inspiration for this was when I was writing some fan fic and a character of mine was smoking a cigarette. I wanted to name the brand of the cigarette but didn't want to use any existing brands. I'm a big fan of Quentin Tarantinos method of using fake brands in his movies, like Red Apple Cigarettes and Big Kahuna Burger; so I came up with my own fake cigarette company. If anyone would like to use Turner D. Century Cigarettes in their fan fic, by all means, I'd be honored. My only rule is that it should only be used for Marvel fan fic, as Turner D. Century is a Marvel character.

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batkevin74

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#3  Edited By batkevin74

@stumpy49er: Next a word from Doctor Hank Pym on how good Thalidomide really is for babies and we talk to Professor Charles Xavier of the Xavier Institute, about the rise in mutations here in America and abroad, but first a word from our sponsors Vi-Rex, the rays that will make you vital, compelling, and magnetic!

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dngn4774

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#4  Edited By dngn4774

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joshmightbe

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#5  Edited By joshmightbe

Gambit just hasn't looked as cool since Marvel took his smokes away.

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4donkeyjohnson

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stumpy49er

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Oh wow, I thought this disappeared with the site changes.

@4donkeyjohnson: Thanks!

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stumpy49er

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I've written a short story about a young man getting his first job at Turner D, Century Cigarettes. I'll post it some time when I have time.

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ImpurestCheese

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#9  Edited By ImpurestCheese

@stumpy49er: Ha I love it, but then it brings two of my passions together; old timey radio and Z-List villains

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stumpy49er

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@impurestcheese: Awesome. Thanks for commenting.

I'm hoping I can find that notebook where I wrote the companion piece to this.

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ImpurestCheese

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#11  Edited By ImpurestCheese
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FicOPedia

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@impurestcheese: Awesome. Thanks for commenting.

I'm hoping I can find that notebook where I wrote the companion piece to this.

Did you ever find it? :^)

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KrispyAllen

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As funny as it gets honestly XD 4/5