New Prime

Avatar image for sentryssj4
sentryssj4

455

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#1  Edited By sentryssj4

The year is 2045, Emperor Laboosh warns the Earth that the sun is dying. Within ten months the Earth will be dead too. The inhabitants of Earth were immediately evacuated to the nearest sustainable planet, New Prime. The year is now 2047, Earth remains and an inter planetary terrorist named Phantom, threatens to assassinate New Prime, given a reward of 500,000 quarts. Special forces have been unable to capture the terrorist so a bounty of 250,000 quarts has been placed up by the government for the capture of Phantom. Against the Emperor's wishes many people have returned to Earth but tens of thousands still remain on New Prime. Two bounty hunters, Feris and his partner Dutch have their sights set on capturing Phantom and splitting the quarts between them.  
 
Episode 1: 
Faris and Dutch run through the woods before stopping abruptly. 
 

Dutch: "We had em on the hook Faris, and we let em off." 
 
 Faris: "Dutch, What kind of a fish are we dealing with here?" 
 
Dutch: "I know." 
 
 Faris: "That was a question Dutch." 
 
Dutch: "Yeah I know." 
 
 Faris: "Dutch, hand me some of that ray juice."  
 
Dutch: "I know!' 
 
 Faris: "Ray juice!" 
 
Dutch: "He is a heck of alot more slippery than he looks." 
 
 Faris: "I know." 
 
Dutch: "The Phantom." 
 
 Faris: "Yeah I know." 
 
Dutch:"Slippery." 
 
 Faris: "You said that already, Dutch." 
 
Dutch: "Like a fish." 
 
 Faris: "I asked you what type of fish we are dealing with." 
 
Dutch: "Its not a bear." 
  
 Faris: "A bear isn't a fish Dutch! We are talking about fish." 
  
Dutch: "I had the most delicious salmon last night." 
 
 Faris: "Your flying off the rails Dutch!.. Do you remember a couple seconds ago when I asked about that ray juice." 
 
Dutch: "Vaguely." 
 
 Faris: "Why don't you vaguely get me some ray juice. I wasn't bluffing Dutch!" 
 
Dutch: "See I thought you were bluffing.. Did you say you wanted some ray juice?" 
 
 Faris: "YES DUTCH!" 
 
Dutch: "You're asking me for the map?" 
 
Faris: "NO, unless that map leads directly to ray juice, or the Phantom."
 
Dutch: "So you do want the map?" 
 
 Faris: "No I want a sip of ray map." 
 
Dutch: "You are playing ray games with me." 
 
 Faris: "I am not playing ray games with you, I misspoke." 
 
Dutch: "Well I forgot the ray juice." 
 
 Faris: "How is that even possible Dutch?" 

Dutch: "I was taking a shower, and I got in my car.. and I must have forgotten the ray juice." 
 
 Faris: "Did you bring anything else to drink." 
 
Dutch: "No.. but I do have a packet of soy sauce." 
 
 Faris: ".........Literally the worst possible thing.. You know that right." Faris spot something behind a tree "Whoa!" 
 
Dutch: "What is it?!" 
 
 Faris: "I thought I saw something."
 
Dutch: "Its probably a grey fox." 
  
 Faris: "You didnt even see it." 
 
Dutch: "Exactly, its quick." 
  
 Faris: "Alot of things are quick Dutch."
 
Dutch: "Like?" 
 
 Faris: "Like snails." 
 
Dutch: "Snails arent fast!" 
 
 Faris: "Not if you throw them."  
 
Dutch: "So its a gray fox throwing snails?" 
 
 Faris: "Dutch fox's cant throw snails they dont have opposable thumbs." 
 
Dutch: "Neither do snails!" 
 
 Faris: "Shut up!" 
 
Dutch: "Fine just admit there is a chance." 
 
 Faris: "Quit dipping your toes in my mind butter Dutch" 
 
Dutch: Dutch spots the creature. "Woah!" 
 
 Faris: "Who is there?"
 
Creature: "Hello, Howdy." 
 
 Dutch: "AAAAHHHHHH!!!"
 
 Faris: While dutch continues to scream. "Dutch rip it down, down Dutch! smooth it down Dutch!! Remember who you are Dutch! Stop Dutch! Quiet! Dutch!! DUUUTTCHH!! lock it up Dutch."  Dutch stops screaming.
  
Dutch: "Its locked"
 
The creature starts writing on a small black board.   
 
 Faris: "What the crab is he doing??"  
  
Dutch: "I dont like this guys attitude..."  
 
Faris: "Dont worry Dutch."
  
Dutch: "He is summoning spells." 
 
 Faris: "He is not writing down spells." The creature continues to write noisily on his chalk board. "Enough of this crab Bob!" 
 
Dutch: "Bob?.. Are you guys old school mates?" 
 
Faris: "No he just looks like a Bob... that was a school mate." 
 
Creature: "I have been named..."
  
 Faris:
 "I wasnt naming you." 
 
Bob: "I am BOB." 
 
Faris: "You are not Bob!"
 
Bob: "Bob." 
 
Faris: "Bob!" 
 
Bob: "BOB."  
 
Faris: "Bob, you are such a ninny." 
 
Bob: "A last name" 
  
 Faris: "NO, Dangitt." 
 
Bob: "As a thank you I will give you a destination." Bob lifts up his chalk board an reveals the word Plickets before disappearing. " 
 
Dutch:  "Plickets?" 
 
 Faris: "Yeah its in an ancient city in Warpus." 
 
Dutch: "Warpus, what does that mean?" 
 
 Faris: "It means next stop Twarpus." 
 
Dutch: "Twarpus, why Twarpus."  
 
 Faris: "Because from Twarpus we take a train to Warpus, Dont be dense Dutch"  
 
Dutch: "All I am trying to do is subtract confusion from the equation, but you keep adding misunderstandings. While I am trying to add... understandings."  

 Faris: "Rev it down Dutch. we Have twenty four hours before Phantom assassinates New Prime." 
 
Dutch: "And our bounty along with it" 
 
 Faris: "right-o, lets go." 
 
Dutch: "Hehe that rhymed." 
 
 Faris: "It did rhyme."
 
 
To be continued... possibly.

Avatar image for redglassbowl
redglassbowl

27

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#2  Edited By redglassbowl

what? 

Avatar image for sentryssj4
sentryssj4

455

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#3  Edited By sentryssj4
@redglassbowl:  
Ah dude I am sorry if this is not clear, but I mean i actually got a little confused writing it. So if you have any questions feel free to ask. Also if you have any Ideas on how I could make this clearer.
Avatar image for capfanboy
CapFanboy

5590

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 1

#4  Edited By CapFanboy
@sentryssj4: That was pretty cool, sorta confusing, maybe clean up the dialogue a bit? but interesting idea! 
Avatar image for redglassbowl
redglassbowl

27

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#5  Edited By redglassbowl
@sentryssj4: Yeah, it's definitely a good idea. I really like any sci-fi plot that has to do with leaving Earth. But, your dialogue is written in an odd way. NOT A BAD WAY, mind you. Just odd. I would at least put the person who is speaking's name before their dialogue instead of underlining. Like -  
 
Francis Ford Copolla: Gosh, that grey fox sure would be a good casting agent for one of my movies. Eh, Fuhrer? 
 
Fuhrer: He sure would, Francis Ford Copolla.  
Avatar image for sentryssj4
sentryssj4

455

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#6  Edited By sentryssj4
@CapFanboy@redglassbowl:  
It is fixed!.. I mean if you still wanna waste time re-reading it...
Avatar image for capfanboy
CapFanboy

5590

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 1

#7  Edited By CapFanboy
@sentryssj4: See! Much Better!