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#1 Edited by basicfan30 (1362 posts) - - Show Bio
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Tien is powering up as he searches for Nappa. Lucky for Tien Nappa now has remember who he is and is powering up to fight Yamcha because Yamcha had tricked him. *Yamcha in his fighting stance charging up also* " But I saved you" Tien crashes down between them knocking them both several feet back. Tien turns to Yamcha "I'll deal with you next" as he rush Nappa with a flurry of attacks. Nappa "O it's you I thought I squashed you already" Nappa dodges a few hits takes a few hits and starts returning a few hits. Yamach is relieved and shocked as he watches their epic very even fight. Far off their is a crash that takes Yamcha's attention for a second * The crash turns out to be Vegeta's ship which returned to it's last destination as no destination was set.* Vegeta stretching " I survived?.......Where am I?.........That power?...Is that Nappa?...Maybe I didn't survive? " As Vegeta traveles towards Nappa's energy he realizes what has happend and how much trouble their all in *believing that Frieza must have killed Kakarot not believing his own memory of feeling the Super Saiyan* At that same moment Kami mentally connects with Piccolo to tell him about Tien and Nappa's fight which he needs to stop or end quickly as Tien needs to train for the coming battle with the Cold family. Piccolo and Vegeta arrive at the same time and literally pull apart Tien and Nappa as Nappa is bear hugging Tien. Vegeta " Nappa your growth in my absents is better than I thought but it's still not enough come with me we have training to do." Piccolo " Tien I know he deserves to be punished for what he did but a monster and his whole family are coming to destroy earth and take the dragon balls." Tien " Kaioken x3 and Rushes pass Piccolo He will pay for what he did" Vegeta pushes Nappa out of the way of Tien's rush. " Perhaps a fight is the best way to see how far you need to come to help me against the Cold's." Piccolo flashes in between Tien and Nappa " Vegeta you know King Cold has an army. We will need every fighter we can get to stop them." Piccolo turns to Tien " Tien, Goku realized that both Vegeta and Nappa only fought us because they were order to by Frieza. Frieza is the Monster that killed Goku and he and his family is coming to kill all of us and steal the dragonballs. You don't have to like it but we need to fight together or this family of monsters will kill us all." Tien drops the Kaioken but stays in his fighting stance. Vegeta " I'd like to see you fight Nappa but the green one is right a numbers disadvantage isn't something we need right now." "Lets go" Nappa " Awe come on" Vegeta starts to leave " Now Nappa" They leave. Tien " Power up ""green one"" I'm blowing off some of this anger right now"

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#2 Posted by Jexsu (1083 posts) - - Show Bio

I think it was suggested a few times that you should put your stories into a several paragraph form instead of one single paragraph. It'd actually be easier to read if you did.