Mr Mxyzptlk invades Star Wars Part 1

Avatar image for masterjohn
MasterJohn

2663

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#1  Edited By MasterJohn

Rated PG-13.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these characters, they are owned by Lucas Arts and DC comics. I am just doing this for fun.

Mr Mxyzptlk is sucked through space-time after tampering with the continuim. He ends up in the Star Wars Galaxy! Here is his story.

"Hmm, what a humid place" Mxyzptlk said as he stood in the middle of the dune sea.

A group of desert sailors with Garmorrean guards and pirates pull up next to Mxy.

"Hello!" Mxy said in an exciting tone.

Pirate 1: Look, a little man..Jabba will like this one..

Pirate 2: Let's get him.

Mxy: Might I warn you, I am "hard to get". Mxy then jumps up into the sky and onto the barge, standing in the middle of the ship.

Pirate 1; BLAST HIM! The crew opens fire, and holes get into mxy.

Mxy: Oh my..These just won't do... He then pulls the blast holes out of his body, and throws them over the crew, and then throws the holes overboard, only leaving the guards remaining

Mxy: Well, I did tell you I was hard to get....

The guards then charge at Mxy

Mxy: Oh my, oh dear what will I do? He clicks his fingers and the guard's axe's come alive, and chase them off the barge.

Mxy then looks out into the distance and sees a small palace, he clicks his fingers and appears in the middle of it

Jabba and his criminal gang stare at mxy. "What's your name?!" one of Jabba's aids shouted.

Mxy: The name's Mxyzptlk! And I am taking over this place..

*A rodian in the crowd shouts* You have no right to!

Another person in the crowd shouts "Send him to the rancor!"

Under mxyzptlk a small trap opens and he falls into the pit. He sees a terrifying monster looking at him

Hmm..What a nice pet.. Hey pet! "mxy snaps his fingers" I want you to go up there and get those people.. "He clicks his fingers and the rancor is in the middle of jabba's throne room.

Enjoy your pet! Mxy then clicks his fingers and appears above Tatoonie.

A group of imperial vessels circulate above tatoonie, spotting Mxyzptlk.

Captain 1: What is that little creature floating in space?!

Captain 2: I don't know, but it seems threatening! Open fire!

The guns fire up, and Mxy comes under fire

Mxy: Oh my.....A group of spaceships firing on me......This ball of dust should keep them warm.. "he then takes tatoonie with his bare hands, and rolls it at the imperial ships like a bowling ball.

Ship worker: Sir! Sir! Tatoonie is rolling at us..

Captain: Evasive action! Load up the es- At that second, Tatoonie hits them and knocks them into the voidness of space.'

Mxy: I could get used to this..

Meanwhile, at the Imperial palace in Corucsant, a black phantom is overlooking the city, channeling the dark side with his anger.

Darth Sidious: I feel a disturbance in the force..."Walks to the hologram and contacts Darth Vader's flaship.

Vader's hologram then comes on.

Vader: Yes my master?

Darth Sidious: I feel a strong disturbance in the force....I see a small little man, who is a threat to our rule..We have also lost contact with our ships in the Tatoo system..

Darth vader: Small little man?

Darth Sidious: A very powerful small thing. I am sending you to track him, and end him, once and for all! Hear me vader, I am The Dark Lord of the Sith, and this will not continue in my galaxy!

Lightning then sparks over the Corucsant city line.

To be continued...

Avatar image for jameskm716
JamesKM716

2018

Forum Posts

1

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 4

#2  Edited By JamesKM716

Well, not as bad as before :D

My main problem with this, is that it is almost all dialogue. Further, you don't do Dialogue correctly. Example, you wrote:

Captain 1: What is that little creature floating in space?!

Captain 2: I don't know, but it seems threatening! Open fire!

What it should have been.

"What's that little creature floating in space?" One captain commented, scratching his head.

"I don't know, but it's threatening us! Open fire!" A second captain commanded.

Do you understand the difference? obviously our styles are different, but i hope you get the point.

On another note, for cross-over stories of all types, i much prefer to have a reason why one character crosses over to the next.

Avatar image for masterjohn
MasterJohn

2663

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#3  Edited By MasterJohn

@JamesKM716 said:

Well, not as bad as before :D

My main problem with this, is that it is almost all dialogue. Further, you don't do Dialogue correctly. Example, you wrote:

Captain 1: What is that little creature floating in space?!

Captain 2: I don't know, but it seems threatening! Open fire!

What it should have been.

"What's that little creature floating in space?" One captain commented, scratching his head.

"I don't know, but it's threatening us! Open fire!" A second captain commanded.

Do you understand the difference? obviously our styles are different, but i hope you get the point.

On another note, for cross-over stories of all types, i much prefer to have a reason why one character crosses over to the next.

Well, he was tampering with space-time, and he ended up in the Star Wars universe.

Thank you for your advice on the captain thing, I'l be sure to apply it.

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

15462

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#4  Edited By batkevin74

@MasterJohn said:

Ship worker: Sir! Sir! Tatoonie is rolling at us..

Bwhahahahahaha but wait@MasterJohn said:

Captain: Evasive action!

Where you going to go? It's a planet :)