Mr. Giraffe in the Pink Safari Hat and Yu

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wildvine

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#1  Edited By wildvine  Moderator

This is a story a young friend of mine told me. Originally it was about me. I changed 'You' to 'Yu' to make things slightly less confusing. Words in [-] are my editions to aid in streamlining. Words in (-) are things she felt needed to be clarified. Words in caps were also per her instructions. Sentence formatting is by me to aid reading. The first part reads like a recap partly because that was how it was presented, and partly because she had to recap the story from the beginning once I realized I HAD to write this down.

Part 1

Yu and Giraffe trespassed on the lumberjack's land. Giraffe wears a pink safari hat. The lumber jack begins to chase Yu and Giraffe and Yu climb a tree to escape the lumberjack. The lumberjack begins to chop down limbs. Yu [was] on one of the limbs and Yu (FELL). Yu broke [their] back and [one] toe and got a sandy leg [Sand in yu's knee] The Giraffe records Yu falling out of the tree. This video goes viral while you are in the hospital. The giraffe can't get into the hospital because it's too big. Yu [is] on the third floor, the Giraffe stands at the window. While the Giraffe is standing at the window talking to Yu the Giraffe was hit with a crane. (The kind for heavy equipment) the Giraffe's face hits the ground, technically his whole body hits the ground. He has a concussion. Since the hospital was too small for the Giraffe the Animal hospital was called, but they didn't know it was a Giraffe, so they sent a regular ambulance. A (GORILLA) was driving the ambulance. But they had to send the big ambulance for Lions and Elephants and Snakes and Giraffes. They loaded Mr. Giraffe into the ambulance but not his pink safari hat. It had fell and blew in the wind...

They were taking Mr. Giraffe to the animal hospital, but they heard another siren. It was another big ambulance, but not as big (it was medium size) The ambulance was blocked by a train, with card behind them, trapping them. The Gorilla had road rage.

A lot of road rage.

Mr. Giraffe was being cared for by Ms. Flamingo and Mr. Frog. The train keeps passing by and it's like 50 cars long, and meth addicted demon possessed [human] train-hoppers begin jumping off the train. They start attacking the ambulance. The train finally passes, and the Gorilla floors the gas. They make it to the animal hospital safe. Yu [had] to have back surgery. Yu [makes] it out of surgery and does food.

Addendum: The lumberjack also had a concussion. That didn't get written down.

Part 2

This part is where she took over the writing portions herself. Her unique writing style is presented verbatim.

The next day everybody is good and The nurses come in and take there vidals. Then they ask if they need anything the lumber jack says yes and everybody else says no. The lumber jack wanted some orange juice an pancakes. 15 minutes later the nurse comes back with milk and a ham biscuit. The lumber jack told the nurse that he did not order a ham biscuit. They go back and forth then finally the lumber jack screams "I AM VEGAN," with a flame of fire behind it.The nurse stood in shock.

"Your vegan?!?!" Screamed the nurse.

"Yes so can you bring my food now. The right one."

"Yes Sir Sorry for the miscommunication." the nurse said heading out the door. 60 minutes later, She comes back with the right food.

"Well, it is about time. I ain't even hungry anymore." Said the lumber jack.

"I'll just take it back then," the nurse said walking out the door. Later the doc comes in to check up on the lumberjack

"My head hurts really bad!" Said the lumber jack

"Ok I will get the nurse in here to give you a shot of painkillers. the doctor leftthe room and the nurse stood there.

"Your going to pay for what you did" said the nurse Walking over to the lumber jack with the shot in hand.

"What did I do." said the lumberjack.

"You hurt my friend" said the nurse was setting up to give a shot.

"He was trespassing on my land," said the lumberjack.

"It was not your land it was my fathers," said the nurse injecting the shot without letting the air out of the syrenge. "This will make the pain go away. " Walks away.

Later that day the news traveled around that the lumber jack had died.

The end 😊 I am done

Addendum 2. The vegan thing had a pay off that didn't make the writing. The nurse tried to poison the lumberjack, and brought him the wrong meal. The second meal was correct but then he was irate. Hence the needle air bubble plan. This was explained to me but again, didn't make the first draft. My bad

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cbishop

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@wildvine: Okay, I looked at the title, and who posted it, and a smile crept across my face, because I knew that it was going to be something weird and fun. Now that I've read it, I've L'dMAO, and exclaiming "WTF!" I don't know what kind of painkillers your friend is on, but kudos to you for getting this insanity in print. ;) <3