Marvel Nexus: Spider-Rogue

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Posted by wildvine (14888 posts) - - Show Bio

Anna Parker was born cursed with the mutant power to absorb memories, powers, and even DNA. Then, on a routine school field trip she was bitten by a radioactive spider. Now armed with super strength, speed, and the agility of a spider. And the abilities to climb walls, and create organic webbing, she fights crime between school and social life as....

The Spectacular Spider-Rogue.

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"Ugh, how do you eat like that and maintain your figure?" Mary Jane Robbins asked with a combination of jealousy, and mild disgust, while she pointed at Anna Parker's chili fries.

"I have killer metabolism" Anna replied around a mouthful of food.

"Killer metabolism or not, greasy food kills" MJ replied, like she was the authority on such things.

"Quick, put that on a t-shirt. You'll be rich". Anna joked. "And I should be so lucky to die of cholesterol. Sinister Octopus will probably be the end of me."

"Shush, someone will hear you." She slapped Anna's hand, and looked around as if expecting to see spies all around them.

"Yeah for sure. Cause I'm so sure he employees high school students." Anna rolled her eyes.

"About as likely as a superhero in high school." MJ snapped back.

"Jeeze, what's got you so edgy today?"

"I'm, ah, trying out for the squad again." She stirred her yogurt, avoiding eye contact, and blushed slightly.

"Pep squad? Really? I could call you fat and worthless right here, and save you the effort." Anna offered helpfully.

"Mmmmm, yeah but your heart wouldn't be in it." MJ smiled. "So can you come by later and help me with my English paper? Its kicking my button. Or are you patrolling tonight?"

"I'm gonna make the rounds, but I could swing by your house first." Anna smirked.

"That joke has never been funny. Ever." She swiped a cold chilli fry from Anna's plate and popped it in her mouth.

"Greasy food kills" Anna said.

"Think I read that on a T-shirt somewhere." MJ replied, and they both laugh.

Later...

"Gee, robbing the jewelry store, now that's thinking outside the box." Spider-Rogue commented from the store front as the three goons hustled out.

"Its that Spider-Dame, shooter." One of them yelled, presumably the leader.

"Spider-Dame? Is this a 1940's gangster movie?" Spider-Rogue flipped forward from her perch, and kicked the thug in the face before he can get off a shot. "The foot bone connects to the....jawbone. the jawbone disconnects from the...face bone." She said in a sing-song voice, webbing the stunned crook to the ground. "Evening. I will be your superhero for tonight. The special is a serious butt-kicking, served with a side of embarrassment, and your choice of soup or salad." Spider-Rogue said, her hands planted on hips in what she hoped was a heroic, yet intimidating pose.

"Uh....what?" The big guy asked with an ape-like lack of comprehension. Which suited his ape like build very well.

"Its a joke. You know, kinda my thing. Thought y'all knew me. Uh, now then," She tried to recapture the moment "I'm going to give you two the chance to go ahead and give up now."

The two thugs exchange a look of disbelief.

"It won't make you guys any less villainous to quit now. I'm just saying, this is my whole night. I got a lot more thugs to thwart. So what do you guys say?"

The closest one pulled out a wicked looking knife. "I'm gonna peel you like a banana." He grinned.

"You peel bananas with a knife? That's kinda weird. You're weird man."

"Shut up!" He lunges at her swinging the knife wildly. Spider-Rogue blocks with one arm and slashes into the leather sleeve.

"Hey, this was on sale!" She yelled, and twisted the goons wrist with one hand. Her spider-sense tingled, and she ducked as the lead pipe swung over her head, and smashed knife guys nose, knocking him down.

"Vinnie you stupid mother--" He swore loudly, blood gushing from his nose. The big guy "Vinnie" looked stupidly at the pipe in his hand. Maybe that was his default expression.

"Hey thanks Vinnie" Spider-Rogue said cheerfully, as she webbed up knife guy with one hand. Vinnie charged at Spider-Rogue rather then running away, which would have the smart thing to do. "Criminals are the most optimistic people." Spider-Rogue commented as she dodged left, and drove a punch into his stomach. Spider sense tingled a little too late as the pipe smashed into the back of her head.

"Ow, okay. That, ow" Shes groaned from the ground.

"Now I'm gonna mess up yer pretty face."

"Well I'm gonna fix yours." She hit him in the face with both webs. "There! Already an improvement!" She sprung to her feet, and delivered a wicked uppercut that knocked him through the unbroken store front window.

"Ooopsie. Well, that's what insurance is for" She shrugged to herself, and swung up to a high place. She watched the scene until NYPD's finest arrive, then swung away, unnoticed by all but one....

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#1 Posted by Sideslash (6154 posts) - - Show Bio

Very nice. I see the mistake I caught was corrected.

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#2 Posted by jack16ichigo (521 posts) - - Show Bio

Nice,I see you changed the bit I brought up ;)

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#3 Posted by CapFanboy (5590 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine:

"Pep squad? Really? I could call you fat and worthless right here and save you the effort" Anna says helpfully.

OH HELL NO!

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#4 Posted by wildvine (14888 posts) - - Show Bio

@CapFanboy said:

@wildvine:

"Pep squad? Really? I could call you fat and worthless right here and save you the effort" Anna says helpfully.

OH HELL NO!

Pardon?

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#5 Posted by RazzaTazz (11948 posts) - - Show Bio

Good stuff, is there more coming?

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#6 Posted by CapFanboy (5590 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine said:

@CapFanboy said:

@wildvine:

"Pep squad? Really? I could call you fat and worthless right here and save you the effort" Anna says helpfully.

OH HELL NO!

Pardon?

Nothing.

@RazzaTazz said:

Good stuff, is there more coming?

Yeah wildvine, is there more coming?!

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#7 Posted by wildvine (14888 posts) - - Show Bio

@CapFanboy said:

Yeah wildvine, is there more coming?!

As i told Razzatazz, it depends on popularity. I do have a few more Spider-Rogue stories regardless. And some spinoffs, Captain Iron and Hell Rider to name a few.

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#8 Posted by Jonny_Anonymous (45774 posts) - - Show Bio

Ha nice concept, the banana comment actually made me LOL

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#9 Posted by lykopis (10845 posts) - - Show Bio

I really like the idea of mixing up popular heroes into one -- haha -- you have my Rogue in there which is pretty cool.

Really fun read (your stories always are) and I hope you decide to continue this. I gotta know who that person is at the end.

Oh, I loved a lot of parts but Sinister Octopus got me giggling. :)

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#10 Posted by Sideslash (6154 posts) - - Show Bio

@CapFanboy said:

@wildvine:

"Pep squad? Really? I could call you fat and worthless right here and save you the effort" Anna says helpfully.

OH HELL NO!

When I read it, I thought:

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#11 Posted by batkevin74 (15451 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine: Nice, looking forward to you revealing more of Sinister Octopus

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#12 Posted by poze (289 posts) - - Show Bio

wow I really wish to see more and some enemies! bref I like it

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#13 Posted by wildvine (14888 posts) - - Show Bio

@poze said:

wow I really wish to see more and some enemies! bref I like it

Yeah, wanted to wait on the Villains. Next time though...

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#14 Posted by poze (289 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine: well that's why I will continue reading this I like the idea

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#15 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (2023 posts) - - Show Bio

With Rogue's powers, you almost didn't need the spider to bite her. Good work, let's see a Darecrawler or a Punisholossus or a Moonclops :)

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#16 Posted by Joygirl (21036 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine: *narrows eyes, tilts head to the side*

There are multiple (very minor) issues with punctuation here, but they are minor. I will deal with those another time.

I'll start off by saying this is better than... 79.3% of what I see on this site. Your characterization is very strong -- Anna shows a perfect blend of Spidey's playful arrogance and Rogue's sass, and they work very nicely within a single character, making me wonder why you chose these two to combine -- if you anticipated this blend in character traits, then you don't get enough credit for forethought. :P

An issue I have is the person/tense combo. Now, these things are pretty subjective, to be totally honest... but subjective or not, from my experience, stories written in third person and present tense generally sound a little bit off, a little unrefined. Your best bet is generally first person/present tense ("I laughed, and take another bite.") or third person/past tense ("She laughed, and took another bite."). This gripe is relatively minor, but I would encourage you to play with other combinations of writing style.

The story also shows minimal detail in actions and none in description or thought. It carries itself on dialogue, which is very strong and you seem to have a solid knack for. I'll PM you in a bit on some exercises you can use to help with that, the ones I started with.

Overall, the story was enjoyable, if not professional-quality. But you definitely show promise.

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#17 Posted by Joygirl (21036 posts) - - Show Bio

@4donkeyjohnson: Juggerlee. :D

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#18 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (2023 posts) - - Show Bio

@Joygirl said:

@4donkeyjohnson: Juggerlee. :D

Ha ha

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#19 Posted by Joygirl (21036 posts) - - Show Bio

@4donkeyjohnson: I think I'd pay money to see a Juggerlee comic. :P

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#20 Posted by wildvine (14888 posts) - - Show Bio

@4donkeyjohnson said:

@Joygirl said:

@4donkeyjohnson: Juggerlee. :D

Ha ha

I am missing the reference here...

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#21 Edited by Joygirl (21036 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine:

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#22 Posted by wildvine (14888 posts) - - Show Bio

That's an...interesting combo. Actually have plans for Juggernaut already though.

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#23 Posted by Joygirl (21036 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine: You WANT this kitten to cry, don't you?

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#24 Posted by wildvine (14888 posts) - - Show Bio

Well...i...no. care to argue the case or being silly?

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#25 Posted by Joygirl (21036 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine: I'm just being silly. You do whatever you like. ^_^

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#26 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (2023 posts) - - Show Bio

@Joygirl: How about Jubilnaut? Or does that change the dynamic...Cain Marko with Jubilee's powers as opposed to Jubilee with the Gem of Cytorak :)

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#27 Posted by andrewtheking (1004 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine:

amazing

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#28 Posted by wildvine (14888 posts) - - Show Bio

Bi duh Bump!

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#29 Posted by wildvine (14888 posts) - - Show Bio

Picture added

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#30 Posted by batkevin74 (15451 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine: Did you ever do more of this?

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#31 Posted by wildvine (14888 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74 said:

@wildvine: Did you ever do more of this?

Not yet. Though i plan to.

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#32 Posted by InnerAssassin (340 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine: Very nice! Question for a rookie writer! What do you use to write? Do you write it on paper then just type it in here? Also how do you correct and fix mistakes do you have a website? I make quiet a lot of mistakes...

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#33 Posted by Pyrogram (46545 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine: I instantly laughed at this - No idea why 0_0, seriously!

"I have killer metabolism" Anna replied around a mouthful of food.

"Killer metabolism or not, greasy food kills" MJ replied like she was the authority on such things.

I liked this, Very much. This obviously was some of your older works and still reads brilliantly ^_^ Well done! Again sorry I forgot to read this :'( I missed out big time!

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#36 Posted by ImpurestCheese (12542 posts) - - Show Bio
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#37 Edited by wildvine (14888 posts) - - Show Bio
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#38 Posted by ImpurestCheese (12542 posts) - - Show Bio
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#39 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (2023 posts) - - Show Bio

Bumped :)

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#40 Posted by cbishop (15750 posts) - - Show Bio

Hey, wv! I saw #2 in the forum, so came back to read #1. I'm enjoying this character very much. Is Marvel Nexus a group, or this something of your own?

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#41 Edited by wildvine (14888 posts) - - Show Bio

@cbishop said:

Hey, wv! I saw #2 in the forum, so came back to read #1. I'm enjoying this character very much. Is Marvel Nexus a group, or this something of your own?

Originally it was a personal project. The Marvel universe is a big playground though, so I'm letting a few people play in my sandbox.

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#42 Edited by cbishop (15750 posts) - - Show Bio
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#43 Posted by batkevin74 (15451 posts) - - Show Bio

Bumped as 3 is coming!

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#45 Posted by wildvine (14888 posts) - - Show Bio

Also bumped by request. Maybe I'll get back to it sometime

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#46 Edited by 4donkeyjohnson (2023 posts) - - Show Bio