Marvel Mayhem: The Fantastic Mister Fish

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“Mister Norris, a quick interview.” The young female reporter called as the burly fish like man dressed in a business suit stood on the steps of the chapel. “Your duet with Sheryl Crow just reached number one in the European chart list, and claimed another week in the country charts, how do you feel?” She asked as cameras flashed and Norris gave her a shark toothed smile, albeit a good natured one.

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“I feel awesome Miss Tilbury.” Norris replied. “For a guy like me to get that accolade, not to mention the privilege to sing alongside one the music business most recognised names is amazing and I’d like to thank my fans for their support.” He added.

“Call me Trish.” Tilbury told him with an adoring smile. “May I ask why you’re here at this humble little chapel?”

“I’m paying my respects to a friend, she and her sweetheart are getting married. About time too, if anything the government was too slow to legalise gay marriage.” He added as he gave Tish a quick wink. “Still we’re here now and the couple are simply deliciously cute together.”

“With your conviction of cannibalism overturned are you sure that’s the right type of language to use?” Tish asked. “Your fans would be crushed if you were sent back to prison, I know I would be.” She stated as a sad look began to spread from the edges of her smile.

“That incident with Bullseye was an accident, and to be honest nobody cared, Daredevil even baked me a cake.” Norris replied as a fan broke ranks and ran up the stairs to the fish like superstar holding a poster with his face and the words ‘Mister Fish Was Right’ written underneath it.

“Mister Fish can you sign this!” The fan squeaked as Norris shook his head before removing a blue pen from his jacket and drew a quick fish under the words, his actions causing his fan to scream with excitement. Posing for a few more photos Norris retreated into the church and walked up to the two beautiful brides, their hair elegantly styled.

“Bill you made it!” The red headed bride cried, as she and her partner hugged Norris.

“Course I did, wouldn’t miss this Elouise, I was just telling the reporters how you and Kim were such a cute couple.” Norris replied as he was quickly released from the two beautiful women and their tight embrace. “I’ll just take my place.” He added, as the priest cleared his throat. “Sorry for the interruption father.” He mumbled.

“Actually I was hoping to get a selfie.” The priest asked as he removed a flip phone. “It’s for the Pope, he’s a big fan.” He added, as Norris and the two women moved into the shot and smiled as the priest took the photo.

“Tell his holiness to come round for tea if he’s every near Harlem.” Norris told the priest as he finally took his seat, only for a pounding sound to echo around the church as something or someone who was very large thundered towards the doors before smashing them open. “Oh no it’s that dastardly Luke Cage!!” Norris gasped. “He’s come to stop the wedding that fiend.”

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“Rah, fiddle faddle and Sweet Christmas!!” Luke Cage, a brutal looking thug dressed in a yellow shirt supporting anti-gay marriage slogans and tattered blue jeans roared as he thundered down the aisle. “Fiddle faddle no rights general bigotry!” He added as Norris went to intercept the attacker, his blow staggering the thug, albeit only for a few seconds. With a grunt and a roar Cage picked up the gallant defender and slammed him into the font, holy water anointing the fish like hero, as did a rather nasty looking red bruise on his head.

“Bill help us!!” Elouise and Kim screamed, as Luke Cage separated them and pulled a pair of balloons with bow ties clipped to their strings and male faces drawn on them from somewhere under his shirt.

“You marry properly.” Luke Cage snarled. “Or you get fiddle faddled rah!” He added, as he forced the balloons in between the two women. “Do it father marry people properly!” He ordered as Norris recovered and got to his feet.

“Forgive me father.” Norris asked as he swung the font and slammed Luke Cage in the face, the force of the blow causing one of his eyes to pop out slightly.

“You are forgiven.” The priest sighed as Norris sprung forward and sunk his teeth into Luke Cage’s arm, his shark like teeth penetrating the thug’s skin.

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“But unbreakable fiddle faddle skin?” Luke Cage grunted in surprise.

“I have unbreakable teeth.” Norris replied.

“Then I can’t win, Sweet Christmas and fiddle faddle I give up.” Luke Cage groaned as he held his hand up in surrender. “How can I be as good as you and half as good looking?” He added as the brides popped the balloons and went and hugged Norris.

“Let goodness into your heart and maybe one of these delicious snack cakes.” Norris replied as he winked to an unseen audience before handing Cage a cake from his jacket pockets. “Here try one Luke, you’ll feel better.” Biting into it Luke nodded in agreement before standing up and joining the embrace.

“I am most sorry ladies, I had no idea that love like this could exist.” Luke Cage stated in an upper class British accent. “Will you forgive me?” He added as the priest picked up the font and dumped it onto Norris and his new found friend.

“Norris wake up!!” An angry voice stated, the tone snapping Mister Fish out of his day dream and into reality. Looking down the table he saw his teammates all looking at him with slightly annoyed looks on their faces, especially Diamondback who looked like she was ready to wring his scaly neck. “So that’s the plan, does anyone have anything to add.” She asked as she sat back down next to her husband 8-Ball.

“Nope, Spectre and I know what we’re doing.” Overrider stated in a bored voice. “Although I suspect Norris may have missed most of it since he was humming Sheryl Crow songs under his breath and drooling throughout the entire planning session.”

“Bill do you want us to go over this again?” 8-Ball asked, as he rested his head on his hands.

“Fiddle Faddle.” Norris groaned before giving his teammates a thumbs up and falling back to sleep, a contented look spread across his face.

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TommytheHitman

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Very funny, a character I have honestly never heard of, yet you have left me wanting more of him. I'm genuinely confused by some elements of this though, however I am sure that all will be well.

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ImpurestCheese

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@tommythehitman: Ah well it's Mister Fish simply having a day dream as a one shot. Basically in his dreams he's awesome whereas in real life...not so much.

Still he was nice enough to come to a parody of my upcoming (next year) wedding so he can't be all bad ?

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Oh no, I don't want to be fiddle faddled

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ImpurestCheese

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@avenging_x_bolt: Yeah nobody does! All praise Mister Fish from stopping that Brute. Thanks for the comment ?