Marvel Mashed Up Origins: Deadpool

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batkevin74

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#1  Edited By batkevin74

Welcome to Mashed Up Origins!

This is an experiment of mine that I was going to make into a group, but with the chaos that a group can bring I decided to go it alone. It’s short, sweet and basically a quick origin where one hero gets anothers origin, something to make you go “I’d like to see that!”

Winter Soldier: http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic-8/mashed-up-origin-winter-soldier-668997/

Thor:http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic-8/mashed-up-origin-thor-669004/

Ghost Rider:http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic-8/mashed-up-origin-ghost-rider-674739/

Juggernaut: http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic-8/mashed-up-origin-juggernaut-673025/

Fantastic Four:http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic-8/mashed-up-origin-fantastic-four-669169/

Ms Marvel:http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic-8/mashed-up-origin-ms-marvel-674174/

The Defenders: http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic-8/mashed-up-origin-the-defenders-675722/

Nova:http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic-8/mashed-up-origin-nova-675040/

Spider-Man http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic-8/mashed-up-origin-spider-man-676331/

Power Man: http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic-8/mashed-up-origin-power-man-674946/

Iron Fist: http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic-8/marvel-mashed-up-origins-iron-fist-1543904/

Punisher: http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic-8/marvel-mashed-up-origins-the-punisher-1545045/#2

Elektra Natchois the Sorceress Supreme: http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic-8/marvel-mashed-up-origins-elektra-natchios-sorceres-1545550/#3

The Lizard: http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic-8/marvel-mashed-up-origins-the-lizard-1545595/

Lord Doom: http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic-8/marvel-mashed-up-origins-lord-doom-1545900/

Quasar:http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic-8/marvel-mashed-up-origins-quasar-1546754/

**

Weapon X site, Canada

Victor Creed stood dumbstruck as he looked at the doctor “Yur $%#^ kidding?”

“I could tell you a joke, if you’d like,” shrugged the doctor from the Weapon X program “But I don’t want you to kill me. Look, here are the results. I hate giving bad news, especially to people with newly fused adamantium claws.” He thrust the pages towards Victor and took a step backwards “I’m sorry, please don’t kill me.”

Victor looked at the pages of medical jargon and the slide that showed purple blood “Just cut it out.”

“Okay, but…”

“NOW!” roared the mutant killer as he pounced on the doctor.

Chronic lymphocytic leukemiadoesn’t work like that!” screamed the doctor in terror, tears in his eyes, face red as a layer of fear sweat soaked his skin. Victor looked at the pathetic little man in his claws. It took all his strength not to rip him in half.

“Options?” huffed Victor as he let the man go.

“Dr Killebrew may, and I stress may, be able to help,” panted the doctor. “He runs a hospice attached to Weapon X.”

“Set it up.” Victor slumped into a chair and looked over the papers again.

**

The Hospice

Dr Ermys Killebrew looked at Victor strapped to the gurney as he flipped through a thick bundle of charts “We have burnt you. We have shot you. We have gassed you. We have electrocuted you, drowned you and we have put you through a centrifuge. We have reversed the adamantium bonding process. We have put you into explosive decompression. We injected you with the ebola virus. Still you live. Still you have cancer. We’ll try flushing your veins with polonium next.”

Victor mumbled something but the mouth blocks garbled the sound. Killebrew smiled and patted him on the forehead. “There, there. Your main problem is age and your healing factor. But we’ll keep ripping you apart until something changes.”

**

You should kill him

Maybe YOU should kill him.

“Maybe you BOTH could shut up!” snarled Victor as he held Killebrew by the throat against the wall “Now where was I?”

Well you were about three feet to the left.

Position Nazi!

Oh that’s it! I’m coming down there to kick your little yellow box in!

“All your tampering, tinkering…”

Meddling!

Snooping!

Tampering!

He said that already jackass!

“Playing with my body like it was some sort of…”

Jigsaw puzzle!

Voodoo doll!

Bea Arthur love slave

Ewwwww

“Personal playground has done something to me doc! Made me…”

Cray-zeee! Cray-zee for being so lone-leeeeeee!

That is the worst Dusty Springfield impression I’ve ever heard, and I don’t even know who that is!

Patsy Cline you yellow freak!

“Boys, could you shut up for a sec, I’m trying to…”

Talk to the animals! Just imagine it!

Next on the show tunes hour

“ENOUGH!” Victor gripped Killebrew by the throat tighter, his claws piercing the skin “You didn’t cure my cancer, you pretty much went all Mengele on me and probably drove me…”

Cray-zeee! Cray-zee for being so lone-leeeeeee!

“Insane! Any last words?”

Eitherthiswallpaper goes or I do!

You stole that from Oscar Wilde

“I was trying to help.” Killbrew wheezed.

“Well you ^%$#@ didn’t!” Victor raked the claws across his throat opening a huge gaping hole in his neck. Blood spurted everywhere as the demented doctor clutched his open wound and fell to the floor.

He fall down go boom

Just wait. It could be like Scream when he’s waiting to jump back up at the end and scare us.

Victor waited and watched “How long do I keep looking at him?”

A little while longer

Best to be safe than sorry

He’s a tricky trickster

“How about I just rip him limb from limb? Or I just jump forward a few issues and see if he comes back?” Victor rubbed his chin “Anyone else hungry?”

Si senor!

Since when do you speak Spanish?

No comprende amigo

“Let’s go get a burrito,” snarled Victor as he kicked Killebrew’s corpse “And then we’ll find that little runt Logan! I could do with a laugh.”

A death laugh

Who writes your jokes?

Some fat Australian guy with glasses actually

Well he sucks!

Victor Creed kicked open a window and left the dead pool at Killebrew’s hospice, heading back towards civilisation for the first time in a year.

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ImpurestCheese

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@batkevin74: Ah poor BK. Made me laugh even though I hate Deadpool. Nice work

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batkevin74

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@wildvine: Glad you liked it, check out Dr Ock if & when you feel like it

@impurestcheese: Thanks, I'm not a big Deadpool fan either but he is fun to write even when he's Sabretooth :)

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@batkevin74: Yep. 4th Wall officially broken you vandal

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#7  Edited By cbishop

@batkevin74: Y'know, Creed's crazy anyway, but somehow, being Deadpool-crazy... makes him really scary. And yet, really funny. Nice meta moment at the end. :)

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#8  Edited By batkevin74

@cbishop: I try to put a little of myself into ever story, this time it was actually :)

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amazing_webhead

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#9  Edited By amazing_webhead

Funny thing, Deadpool actually did this to himself in Ultimate Alliance

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batkevin74

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@amazingwebhead: Have I inadvertently plagerised something? Having never played the game (it's a game right?) I hope I haven't. Can you tell me a bit more

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@amazingwebhead: Have I inadvertently plagerised something? Having never played the game (it's a game right?) I hope I haven't. Can you tell me a bit more

No no, you're cool. I'm just saying that at one point in the game Deadpool tells the player his origin story, which is a mash-up of several other heroes.

"The day my father Odin banished me from Asgard,I was bitten by a vampireand had radioactive waste dumped in my eyes. To make matters worse, My mutant ability to control weather activatedJUST as I was hit by a blast of gamma radiation."

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Very funny. Also scary, cuz Sabertooth

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