Marvel Iron Age: Doom chapter 7 the Lab (Rewrite)

Avatar image for joshmightbe
joshmightbe

27563

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 13

Edited By joshmightbe

Doomstadt, Feeble Richards'

Carol sits in the newly restored restaurant with Augustus Holland sharing a meal. As Carol finishes her entree there is a flash of light beside the table. When the light fades a man appears. The confused looking man wearing shorts and an obscene T shirt looks around, "Crap, wrong time." He notices Carol and sates, "Okay, don't have a lot of time. We haven't met yet but find a better place to hide your gem." There is another flash and the man is gone, leaving Holland and Danvers very confused.

The Savage Land

Doom, Damos and several minions march through dense jungle stopping at a clearing being grazed by a herd of triceratops. The minions stare in awe but Doom orders them on toward a massive stone. Doom places his hand over a primitive looking drawing and presses in. A small flap opens in the stone revealing a keypad. He then types in a code causing the stone slab to slide away revealing a long corridor.

They walk down a few yards to a massive door that swings open. Inside is a massive lab with a few dozen people working inside.

They are met by a man in a lab coat named Arkady Azarov. He addresses Doom, "We've completed your new armor to your exact specifications, My lord."

Doom marches on as Arkady continues,"We had some trouble assimilating the technology at first but it seems to be auto adaptive, once we stopped trying it pretty much figured itself out."

Doom nodded, "As expected. I assume you've completed all I asked of you." Azarov bowed,"Yes my lord, your enemies will be reminded why they should fear you."

Maryland Institute

Sargent Martin Davis leads a team of Iron soldiers in expecting a war but inside they find nothing. Davis switches on his comm, "Essex is gone, not a sign of him anywhere, and he seems to have taken all his Stalkers with him. I have men covering every inch of the place and so far we haven't found so much as a beaker."

On the other end, Falcon Helfitta sighs, "Its the same with his other labs, He knows how to cover his tracks I'll give him that. You're done there Sargent, we need you back in New York, another riot has broken out and we're short handed."

Chicago

A reporter talks into a camera,"In the days since the assassination of Victor Dominic anti Ferrum sentiment as reached an all time high. We've received reports of rioting in every major city in North America and thus far the Iron Armies attempts at maintaining order only seem to be adding more fuel to the fire. Ferrum released a statement claiming they had nothing to do with Dominic's death but the claim has fallen on deaf ears, still no word from the Supreme Commander on the issue."

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16867

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#1  Edited By batkevin74

@joshmightbe: Nice, Sinister has bolted and a mystery man teleporting in ahhh the dangers of time travel :) Didn't get to read the one you edited but anyways good work. Let me know when you're done with General Helfitta

Avatar image for time_phantom
Time_Phantom

834

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#2  Edited By Time_Phantom

Pretty good. Isn't it a little early for things to be back to normal in New Latveria? Would Carol and Holland be eating out after the Geofront was just taken? Maybe if you insert more dialogue between the two and establish whats their purpose for being in Doomstadt I think it would translate the scene better. I love what your doing with Damos, he's a great character so far. Mr. Sinister being investigated be General Helfitta and Sgt. Martin Davis is brilliant. The rioting in the major cities can lead to great stories to come out of them.

But more setting and dialogue between Carol and Holland about the events leading up to this can really help this alone. Otherwise great chapter.

Avatar image for joshmightbe
joshmightbe

27563

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 13

#3  Edited By joshmightbe

@batkevin74: Yeah I went a little too far with the explanation of who the mystery dude was so I edited it out and thought of a better way to use him