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Posted by ASGARDIANBRONY (11629 posts) - - Show Bio

This was written for a fanfic writing tourney that unfortunately never got off the ground, so instead of letting it go to waste ive decided to post it myself and let you all critique it. I hope you all enjoy and i would really appreciate for you to give me your honest opinions and criticism :D

1,000,000 BC Avengers vs the Fallen

How I would have written Marvel Legacy's 1,000,000 BC avengers vs the Fallen
How I would have written Marvel Legacy's 1,000,000 BC avengers vs the Fallen

*I'm writing this in a comic script format, not a book format. Hope you enjoy.*

Page 1: The Fallen Celestial rises from its place and holds out its hand, thumb to the side and glowing with power.

Narration: When mankind goes to war the sound of canons fills the air, the power of the atom fills the sky and brings an evil wind that diseases the earth for decades. Man's wars are bloody and full of pain with consequences that shape the history of a tribe, country and even an empire... but this, this is no war of man. This battle is of forces divine. This war shall shape the flow of the rivers of destiny for an entire world. This war, myth to men and history to gods, shall leave a grand and horrible... Legacy.

The ancient avengers charge toward their foe.

Odin: My grandfather planted the world ash, my brothers bled to protect it and I myself created this world in its branches. One day this world may be razed, when the stars die and the gods are no more, but today is not that day! Onward protectors of earth! Let us send this great cosmic bastard back to the void from whence it spawned!

Phoenix: Nice speech Borson, but words wont bring down this celestial. Less talk, more cleansing and be careful you don't lose your last eye.

Odin: HA! I will make you eat those words when this is over.

Phoenix: I look forward to it.

Ghost Rider grows and wraps its chains around the Celestial's hand.

Ghost Rider: You better not when I am around. I will burn all sin including fornicat....

The celestial unleashes a wave of energy from its hand that turns the Rider to ash.

Ghost Rider: AAAARGH!

Page 2: Odin and Star-brand bullrush the celestial. Phoenix and Agamotto assault it mystically and telepathically. Ironfist and Black panther climb around on it trying to find a weak point. Ghost Rider begins to reform from the ashes.

Odin: That is the fate of all who interfere with the All-Father's revels!

Ghost Rider: Shut up you one eyed dung heap!

Ironfist: This being's chi is immense, beyond anything i have ever encountered. I cannot find a weak spot!

Black Panther: I can sense its energy as well. We need to crack open its shell, perhaps then we could tamper with its energy flow and end this battle quickly.

Star-Brand unleashes an energy beam that knocks the Celestial over, while Odin flies alongside him, spinning mjolnir.

Star-Brand: OOK!

Odin: Indeed. This creature shall have no mercy from us. Phoenix! Agamotto! What success are you having?

Agamotto and Phoenix are putting their full effort into their task, visibly straining.

Agamotto: The Celestial's soul, if you can call it that, is connected to eternity itself. It is beyond my power to destroy its essence while its defenses still remain.

Phoenix: Everyone down!

The Celestial begins to glow with power.

Fallen Celestial: Enemy threats engaging/Response/Exterminate with Prejudice

Page 3: The Celestial unleashes a massive blast of hyperspace energy that knocks everyone back.

Page 4: Odin lifts himself up from the rubble, coughing blood. He looks around and sees that Star-Brand, Phoenix, Ghost Rider and Agamotto are fine, but that BP and IF are dead.

Odin: NO! No...

Odin walks over and falls to his knees in front of their dead bodies.

Odin: May my spirit rest in Hel for what I have done. I should never have endangered your lives with my hubris, my friends...

Ghost Rider: Why don't you just raise them from the dead? You are the All-Father after all.

Odin sits on the ground while Agamotto and Phoenix come over and touch him on the shoulders.

Odin: I have not the strength... nay, I have not the wisdom. I gave up my eye for just a time as this, but now my head is spinning, the runes flash in my mind and I... I know not what to do.

Phoenix: Weep not my love. The panther and the dragon gave up themselves for this cause, it was no fault of yours, they knew the risks and accepted them. They were heroes worthy of your Valhalla.

Agamotto: You are still a young god my friend, do not give up hope. Where your power fails the might of the Phoenix and the elder gods may yet succeed. Come Phoenix, let us give the fallen another chance at glory.

Phoenix and Agamotto pour their cosmic/magic powers into the dead bodies. Agamotto has a crazed look.

Phoenix: This is crazy, you know that right?

Agamotto: OH YES! This is mad, but it just might work...

Page 5: Out of the dead bodies rise great Astral forms of the warriors spirits accompanied by Bast and Shao-Lou.

Agamotto: YES! Where wisdom fails madness hath triumphed!

Odin: What have you done Agamotto?

Agamotto: A little necromancy, a little possession and a whole lot of blasphemy. I have bound their spirits unto their divine benefactors. What do you care, he who sacrificed himself for wisdom? If a little dark magic brings us victory then so be it, am I right?

The odinforce resurfaces in Odin as he smiles with renewed confidence, ready to battle once more.

Odin: AYE! Tis fitting that we fight an abomination with abominations of our own! Come then my friends alive and dead, let us tear this hulking atrocity into pieces!

Bast/black panther and Shao-Lao/Ironfist grab each of the Celestials arms and tear them off. Phoenix blasts its head with a supernova flame and Odin strikes it with a mighty lightning bolt, bringing it to its knees. The Celestial is on its knees, head melted and armless.

Ghost Rider: Its time to finish this... Have you ever tasted penance Celestial? This is what it tastes like!

Ghost Rider wraps his chains around the Celesials head, igniting its body in dark flame while channeling the penance stare into its eyes.

Narration: There are certain beings in creation who are more than individuals, they are connected to all life. The Celestials, cosmic angels, spawned from Eternity itself, are just such beings. Each exists as one but at the same time is connected to the all, the universal soul, so what then happens if a being such as this is made to feel penance?

Page 6: The ancient avengers, except for Phoenix, all fall down as fire bursts from their eyes. Bast/BP and Shao Lao/IF are seperated by Zarathos dark magic and disappear into the spirit world. In the background it can be seen that all planets in the universe are also experiencing great pain.

Phoenix: Rider! What are you doing!?

Ghost Rider: Call me Zarathos, the spirit of vengeance! Today is the day of penance, my day, my paradise!

Phoenix attacks Zarathos, blasting him off the Celestial.

Phoenix: Stop this now! You aren't harming the Celestial! The creature is shunting your power out to worlds it deems worthy of death, it is using you!

Ghost Rider: Fool! Cant you see what is right in front of you? For a fundamental sentient force of reality you sure are an idiot. My penance stare will never end, the longer this Celestial redirects the inferno the more worlds will burn in righteous judgement, until all creation has paid for its sins! Cant you hear them...

Zarathos grabs the Phoenix with his chains.

Ghost Rider: Listen to them cry! "Hide us, hide us, for the great day of his wrath is come and who shall be able to stand?" Cant you feel their pain?

Phoenix: I can... and it will all... end.. now!

The Phoenix turns into its bird form and devours the Rider.

Page 7: Zarathos looks around, he is in the white hot room.

Zarathos: Where...

Phoenix: I am destruction, I am fury, I am rage... but most of all I am life and compassion. Judgement tempered with mercy, death tempered with birth, only in this way can harmony be kept. Only in this way can creation thrive.

Zarathos: Now see here...

Phoenix appears before Zarathos, absolutely dwarfing him.

Phoenix: What you have done is sacrilege of the highest order! The One who banished you from the celestial heights is the same who brought me, life, into being. Like Him I am full of beauty and like Him I am full of wrath. Burn spirit of vengeance, hurt as you have hurt me and be cast out that your human host may find peace here in my presence.

Zarathos is burned in white fire and sent away, while the human spirit in his host is allowed to spend eternity in the white hot room.

Phoenix opens her eyes, back on earth, in front of her is a pile of ashes where Ghost Rider once stood.

Phoenix: It is done.

Page 8: Phoenix limps over to Odin, Star-Brand and Agamotto, who are all getting up from the ground, hurt but alive.

Phoenix: The celestial lives and I cant help you anymore. The rider has hurt me beyond any form of explanation...

Odin: Where is he! I will kill him! I will damn him to Hel for eternity! Let his flames freeze in the wastes of Nifflheim...

Phoenix collapses and Odin runs to her side.

Phoenix: No Odin, it is dealt with. Now is the time for you to be the god... the god I know you are.

Odin: What can i do?

Phoenix: Kill the giant for me... and I will do a lot more than eat my words when this is over.

Odin kisses the Phoenix.

Odin: Aye my darling fire bird, that I can do.

The celestial is fully healed. Its arms are back and its head is no longer melted.

Fallen Celestial: Repairs complete/Priority changed/New objective/Summon the final host.

Page 9: Odin picks up Mjolnir and talks to Agamotto and Star-brand, devising a strategy.

Odin: I am going to kill the giant and leave its carcass as blood eagle on the moon. You two must protect this realm, the forces about to be unleashed would tear this world apart a billion times over.

Star-Brand: Grrrr.

Agamotto: You believe you can do this Odin? You believe you can kill a Celestial?

Odin looks at them with determination.

Odin: AYE! Too many of you have died or fallen this day while I watched helpless to save you from the bastards hands! If I die now then so be it, but Odin will make things right, as only an All-Father can. I forged this team as a hero, but now... now I must be a king.

Agamotto: You are wise beyond your years my friend. I would be proud to place you in the midst of the Vishanti. We will fight for this world and for you.

Star-Brand: OOOK!

Odin charges into battle as Agamotto and Star-Brand stand on either side, prepared to shunt the energies about to be unleashed out into the cosmos so the earth isn't destroyed.

Narration: This day would come to be known by many names on many planets throughout the universe. The day of the burning to the Dire Wraiths, the time of the cosmic cry to the Kree, the beaching of the leviathans to the chitauri, but no one save those who were there know what truly happened. How a godling newly made king, slew a giant diseased to the core, setting about events that would shape the universe forever.

Page 10:

Odin and the Celestial collide in battle.

Odin: Craven monster! I felled Ymir himself and forged worlds from his carcass! No giant can stand before me!

Fallen Celestial: Target identified/Deity/Response/Assessment.

The Celestial grabs Odin and in its hands and unleashes its power.

Odin: AAAAAAARGH!!!

Fallen Celestial: Target analyzed/Skyfather/Power source/Unknown metaphysical energies/Threat level incalculable/Response/Terminate

A massive lightning bolt strikes the Celestial, causing it to drop Odin and take a step back.

Odin: Blasphemous cur! By the ginungigap I swear that before this day is done the name of the Odinpower will be carved into your hide! Let your foul race identify that when they see your carcass crucified on my moon!

Fallen Celestial: Odinpower added to archives/Assessment complete/Premier mission re-activated/Terminate attacker

Odin throws Mjolnir at the Celestial, who blasts it aside with its hand.

Page 11: Odin and the Celestial both now unleash their full power on one another, the odinforce against the hyperspace power of the celestial race.

Sound Effect: Krakakaboooom!

Agamotto and Star-Brand strain as they channel the energies unleashed in battle off into the cosmos.

Star-Brand: Urrrk... Gayoo gah!

Agamotto: Yes... hrrk... I can feel it. Stars bursting at the core, galaxies shattering and crumbling out of existence... We must not fail... or earth will fall... and Gaea will make things awkward for all the elder gods...

Odin and the Celestial walk towards each other now, still blasting their energy at one another.

Odin and the Celestial meet each other in the middle of the battlefield and their fists collide.

Everything is bathed in pure blinding white energy.

Page 11: The dust clears. Agamotto and Star-Brand are on their knees, steaming and coughing up blood. In the middle of the battlefield stand both Odin and the celestial, battered and torn, but alive.

Odin: Why have you come here? What do you want from my world? From me!? TELL ME!!!

Fallen Celestial: Bzzzt... Bzzt... Speech Pattern copied/... I came to this world to evaluate its evolution. On arrival I found gods, demons and even the Phoenix force had come to this world to call it home. This world is full of power and beauty...

The Celestial stretches out its hand and, its thumb extended and turned sideways.

Fallen Celestial: Eternity warned me to not undertake this mission. I disobeyed. This world is too significant. This worlds presence alone tips the cosmic scales. I have judged this world and I have found it dangerous. I have calculated its evolutionary statistics, adding in the variables of the gods and abstracts drawn to this world and I have found it to be of abnormal and unhealthy importance to the multiverse. If left unchecked this planet will become a cancerous parasite on the membrane of reality, the multiverse will be constantly threatened by it, but unable to function without it.

The Celestial gives the thumbs down sign.

Fallen Celestial: This planet must be destroyed. I will take from its core what gives it its abnormal properties and give them to all planets in the multiverse. In this way order shall be held and the multiverse will stay healthy... Bzzt... Bzzzt... Objective/World Harvest/Completion/World termination.

Page 12: Odin summons Mjolnir to his hand.

Odin: You are truly mad if you think I will let my world be destroyed because of your insanity. The runes become clearer now, my wisdom grows and I see in truth this world can grow and grow into something greater even than I can imagine. I am a god, these are my mortals, they are my children and I will let nothing harm them. Damn your multiverse and your Eternity to Hel! Odin says thee nay!

The Celestials hand begins to glow with blinding brilliance and Odin channels the full Odinforce into mjolnir.

Fallen Celestial: Summon the final host/Eternity is the All/Eternity is God.

Odin: No god I know. Father Bor... deem me worthy...

Odin hurls Mjolnir into the Celestials head, decapitating it and causing its life energy to burst. Agamotto and Star-Brand begin sending the energy away.

Agamotto: Now Star-Brand! WE END THIS NOW!!!

Star-Brand: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR!

Page 13: The battle is over. The Celestial's carcass lies dead. Odin is being carried away on a royal bed by Asgardians while the Phoenix walks by his bedside.

Odin: Phoenix... my hearts desire... I enter a sleep from which I may not awake... and even if I do, I must say goodbye...

Phoenix: Stupid godling, you are just tired. You will wake in time and we will be together again. You killed the giant, I need to make due on my promise.

Phoenix goes to kiss Odin but he stops her.

Odin: No. I cannot play this game anymore. I cannot play hero anymore. Today in the heart of battle I was overcome by the loss of my friends just as I was overcome by the loss of my brothers... I cannot let that happen again. I am no longer a prince but the All-Father of Asgard and I must be that in more than name. I am sorry my fire-bird... but the son of Bor must go his own way and make his own legacy. Forgive me.

The phoenix turns into her bird form in flaming fury and the asgardian guards jump in front to defend Odin.

Phoenix: How dare you!? How dare you reject me! I am life and fury incarnate! You will never have another like me for the rest of your immortal life!

The phoenix flies away, still angry but full of sadness. Odin slips into the Odinsleep with a few final words.

Phoenix: Perhaps you are right All-Father... I should have known the folly of my ways, contaminating myself with the life I had spawned. Goodbye.

Odin: Tell the others... tell them to get that giant bastard off my world... at all... costs.

Page 14: Agamotto and Star-Brand stand by the Celestial corpse, deciding what to do with it.

Star-Brand: Grah, ooh gharsh krall.

Agamotto: Stop your bragging, we both know you didn't kill it. Then again, I have no need of its carcass muddying my realm of light, Odin and the Phoenix have departed and the others are dead or banished... I see no reason why you cant have it as a trophy.

Star-Brand drags the Celestial off to its cave while Agamotto opens a portal to leave.

Star-Brand: Gook?

Agamotto: No, why should I stay? It seems the team has been disassembled. Enjoy your trophy my friend, Oshtur and Hoggoth must miss me terribly.

Star-brand drags the celestial down into his cave and hurls it into a chasm, beating his chest triumphantly.

Page 15: Odin sits on his throne in Asgard, holding gungnir and with mjolnir at his feet. The phoenix flies through the void of space. Agamotto is reunited with the Vishanti. Shao-Lao and Bast return to their realms and Star-Brand draws cave paintings.

Narration: Legacy, like war, can be a glorious thing. Our legacy is forged by the choices we make. Our duty, our sacrifice, our sorrow, madness and strength are all remembered as our Legacy by future generations, just as at the end of a war when the conquering army return victorious, horrors and blood swept away and in their place the title... heroes. But, like war, a legacy is also a terrifying thing, for it may catch up to you in the end with disastrous consequences. The legacy of gods so much greater than mortals in glory is also greater in horror by far, so what then if the legacy of the gods caught up to them, if heroes once were fools today?

The Celestial under the earth begins to glow faintly.

Narration: A Legacy never ends until the time you die, and oftentimes even later. Beware all who yet live, lest your past catch up to you for your story isn't done, and what was once a legend may turn into a tragedy.

The Celestial's finger twitches.

Fallen Celestial: Summon the final host... summon the final host... summon the final host...

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#1 Posted by Galactic_1000 (5585 posts) - - Show Bio

Ok.

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#2 Posted by ASGARDIANBRONY (11629 posts) - - Show Bio

@galactic_1000: You read it? Any critique? What would you rate it out of 10? I wrote this quickly in a couple hours, so it could be polished up better, but i think its pretty good if i do say so myself.

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#3 Posted by Galactic_1000 (5585 posts) - - Show Bio

The fight seems to be fun.It's like I am reading/watching MCU.

Would be better if the fight was little longer And Serious.

SCORE:7.9/10

@nemesisreloaded:

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#4 Posted by ASGARDIANBRONY (11629 posts) - - Show Bio
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#5 Posted by destinyman75 (13940 posts) - - Show Bio

Definitely some polish needed here but the substance is there, and it's pretty good. The ending does remind me of an 80's style Comic book ending (which I like) or cliff hanger in this case nicely done

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#6 Posted by ASGARDIANBRONY (11629 posts) - - Show Bio

@destinyman75: Thanks for reading, glad you enjoyed it. Rating out of 10?

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#7 Posted by destinyman75 (13940 posts) - - Show Bio
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#8 Edited by ASGARDIANBRONY (11629 posts) - - Show Bio
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#9 Posted by destinyman75 (13940 posts) - - Show Bio
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#10 Edited by Vasto75 (14 posts) - - Show Bio

I really wish they make more stories about primal avengers, and this post is a reason for that.

8,5/10.

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#11 Edited by Jexsu (1268 posts) - - Show Bio
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#12 Posted by Vasto75 (14 posts) - - Show Bio

Yeah you will find them in "Marvel legacy" and "Avengers" (2018).

The next issue is about origin of Iron fist.