I've finally done it. I've finally ridden the world of the people that hurt me. And the man who had taken everything from me. Bill. Sweet, sexy, lovable Bill. There was a time when I felt that I would do anything for that man. And, I felt that he would do the same for me.
But I never thought he would ever try to kill me. But, I guess I had that coming.
I know I messed up. I know that I hurt him and I even took his daughter whom I planned on raising with another man. And I know..., Uh, God. Look at me making excuses and feeling sorry for myself. I had it coming because of the life I was living. I deserved it because of the lives I stole away.
From Sons and Daughters. Brothers and Fathers. Mothers......, I was far from an Angel, let's just leave it at that. But unlike those sorry bastards; I've been given a second chance. A chance to be a mother and a better person overall.
But.... What do you do when it's all over?
Bill had given me the life that I once lived. He is the one who gave me purpose. I now have B.B, and my purpose is to be a Mother. But how do we support ourselves? I only took fifty-grand from Bills estate. We've been doing fine, but this cash won't last forever.
And carrying it around is a big pain in the (expletive).
Right now we're living in a Motel in Tuscon Arizona. It's nice, and so are the locals. B.B has already made five friends. She is a sweet kid, a real joy. Which is why I had to get her away from Bill. Because I knew he would violate her innocence. That he was going to make our baby a killer. Make MY baby a killer. I would burn in the pit of a thousand Hell's before I let that happen.
I was a sweet girl once.......
But that was so long ago I can barely remember that girl. The one in College with the large dreams and who fell in love with an older man. A man that would rape her innocence and scorch her soul.
Bill. The man who made pretty girls his killers.
I know that I should be happy that that life is gone. That Bill, and Bud, and Elle are gone too. And yet I don't. I don't feel anything. I just feel empty.
Because what am I suppose to feel? How would you feel in my situation?
Somebody please tell me...what do you do when it's all over?