Katsuo (mini story)

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#1  Edited By mikesterman

This is an introductory story of one of my original characters. For those of you who don't know what original means, it means that they are mine, not yours.

Rated R for violence a little language, and a scene where a puppy almost dies


"Okay guys, follow the leader." Martin

Rosado said and then he jumped from a ledge, onto the pavement. Immediately after landing, he jumped over a public bench, jumped and grabbed onto a branch, and swing himself off. Flipping on his way down.

"Alright, guys your turn."

Martin watched as his two friends, Reggie and Mac attempted to replicate his moves with the same flow. Reggie did everything Martin did except the flip. Mac did everything as well, but when he attempted the flip, he fell on his back. Mac got up and dusted himself off as his friends laughed at him.

"Yeah I skipped the flip." Reggie chuckled.

"Knew I wasn't gonna land it."

"Hey you can't blame me." Mac replied "I wanted to do what the King does!"

"Guys I'm not a king." Martin said.

"Sure you are. The Parkour King Of New Orleans." Reggie declared at the top of his lungs.

Martin just rolled his eyes and laughed with them. He knew he wasn't the best parkour enthisiast in his city, but that didn't stop his friends. Martin always felt at peace when he was with them; just running around with them and climbing on buildings and jumping off ledges. It was a peace he could never feel at home.

"Yo Marty," Mac started. " We are gonna get some pizza. You comin' or what?"

"Nah sorry." Martin replied. "I gotta go check on my mom."

"Oh a'ight." Reggie said. Him and Mac always stay quiet when it comes to Martin's mother. They knew his situation and never spoke of it.

"Well, see you guys tomorrow."

Martin gave his friends their secret handshake, and started walking home.

Chapter 2

Martin unlocked his door and entered the messy pigsty that was his living room. He looked around the first floor for his mom, but he knew exactly where she was. She was upstairs in her room, face down on her desk, a string rapped around her arm, and holes on her forearms. The position Martin usually sees her in ever since his dad died when he was ten. Now here he is, at the age of thirteen. And his mom still strung out.

Every day Martin finds her like this, and he shakes her to wake her up. Martin went upstairs to her disgusting room and started shaking her so she can wake up. This time however, she would not get up. Martin shaked harder and harder, but she still wouldn't wake up.

"Mom come on wake up." Martin said, as he shaked her violently. "Get up Mom. Mom. MOM!"

Martin put his finger on her neck, and checked for a pulse. Nothing.

"Mom?" Martin said, now tears were rolling down his face.

Martin grabbed disconnected cell phone and dialed 9-1-1.

"I need an ambulance please! My Mom's not breathing!"

After calling for help, Martin put his arms around his mom and started rocking back and forth.

"Its gonna be okay mom." Martin said, as he was crying. "Its gonna be okay."

An ambulance came and rushed them to the hospital. Martin was in the waiting room, crying and praying for his mom to survive. a doctor came into the waiting room. Martin got up but the doctor just looked at him, with a sad face. Martin felt his legs give way and he fell to the floor, crying. The doctor knelt beside him and put his hand on Martin's back. He didn't need to say anything to him, Martin already knew. His mom had died.

Chapter 3

After his mother's funeral, Martin was sent to an orphanage. It was a strict catholic orphanage that never allowed Martin to go out and hang out with his friends. Often the nuns would catch him trying to sneak out. At first they tried to "spank" him as punishment, but Martin wasn't as compliant as the others are and fought back. Soon they quit trying to physically punish him.

One night after sneaking out and hanging with his friends, he noticed something jump from one rooftop to another. Martin already snuck out, so he didn't need to be at the foster home immediately. He climbed the building and followed whoever it was leaping.

It was wearing all black, and did quick and easy parkour. Martin was having a tough time cathing up to him. Martin kept a good distance away because he didn't want the strange person to notice him.

Finally the person stopped and was just waiting. He was at the edge of the building, and was staring down at the alley that he was over. Martin was waiting to, but he was getting bored.

"What is this guy doing?" He thought. "Did he come all the way out here just to sit?"

Out of nowhere Martin saw the man jump from his spot, down into the alley. He also heard grunting and yelling. Martin left his spot and went where the person was previously sitting. He looked down and saw the person, a male ninja, fighting a group of asian gangsters. The gangsters tried to fight the ninja, but the ninja was too fast and they couldn't lay a finger on him. The ninja was kicking ad punching these gangsters with no problem. Finally most of them were unconcious. The ninja grabbed a sword from his back, and aimed it at one of them.

He turned his head at another and said, "You tell Tetsuo, That I'm coming for him next." He then grabbed the one he was aiming at by the hair, and beheaded him. Without knowing that a thirteen year old kid was watching.

When Martin saw the ninja behead the gangster. He screamed. The scene was way too gory for a thirteen year old to see actually happen. When the ninja heard the scream, he immediately climbed his way to where Martin was. Martin saw this and thought: Crap I'm next. So he started running. Jumping on buildings, and running as fast as he could. Martin looked behind him and saw the ninja running after him. The ninja, seeing that he wasn't going to catch up to him, decided to take a shortcut. Martin looked behind him again, and saw no one.

"I lost him," Martin thought, and smirked. "Looks like my head will stay safely on my neck." When Martin turned to look to the front, there was the ninja, and there goes his head.

Chapter 4

Martin tried to stop as quickly as he could, but his momentum led him straight toward the ninja. The ninja grabbed him by the arms, as Martin tried to fight back.

"Let go of me. I'm gonna call for help! Let go!"

Martin started to scream but the ninja put his hand over Martin's mouth.

"Shhhh," The ninja shushed. "I'm not gonna hurt you."

Actually he was planning to but when he saw that he was a kid, he changed his mind.

"Yeah, like I'm supposed to believe that, after I just saw you take a guy's head off?" Martin sassed. "My God, let go of me."

"Listen," The ninja started. "Those men deserved to die." He said in a sad tone that even Martin noticed.

"Am I really trying to justify death to a kid?" The ninja thought. "Listen, I'm gonna let you go, but you better not tell anybody what you saw. If you do, I'll know about it and I will find you."

That was the emptiest threat the ninja ever made. But Martin didn't know that.

"I won't, I promise." Martin said.

"No, swear to me, on your honor."


"Honor is the most important thing in japanese culture." If you dishonor this oath, you dishonor yourself."

"K, I swear on my honor." Martin said, only so the ninja would let go. And the ninja did.

Chapter 5

Martin ran out faster than he ever ran in his life. All the way to the orphanage. The nuns yelled at him but his mind wasn't on them. They even were able to spank him without him fighting back. They sent him to a his room and ordered him to go to bed. But he knew there was no way he could sleep after what happened.

As he was laying on his bed. He thought about the ninja, and if he should tell the police what he saw, then again, they probably wouldn't believe him. Ninja's aren't exactly native to New Orleans. Soon his mind wandered to how sad the Ninja sounded when he justified the killings. Why is this ninja doing this, and who is Tetsuo. Martin decided to look for this ninja every day and follow him, learn more about him. Finally Martin closed his eyes and had a restless sleep.

Chapter 6

Day after day, Martin would sneak out of the orphanage and follow the ninja. The ninja caught Martin following him almost every time. Soon he gave up telling Martin to stop following him. Martin was going to continue following him and the Ninja wasn't going to kill Martin.

One night Martin followed the ninja to an abandoned factory. Martin followed him inside, but didn't move from his hiding space.

The factory had 7 armed Yakuza gangsters. Martin saw as the ninja was sneaking closer and closer. One gangster had his back turned on the ninja. That's when the ninja struck. He stabbed one in the back, then he threw three shurikens with one hand. They hit three different gangsters in the neck, and the gangsters collapsed on the floor. The remaining gangsters opened fire on the Ninja, but he went for cover.

"Spread out!" One of them who appeared to be the 'head' commanded. One of them moved closer to where the ninja was but he received a shuriken to the eye. The other gangster opened fire and he shot the ninja on the arm. The ninja grabbed his arm, and fell back. As the gangster pointed the gun at the ninja's face.

Martin was surprised and scared for the ninja. The whole time Martin's been following the ninja, He's never seen him in trouble like this.

"Hold you're fire." The head gangster commanded. "I want to see who this man is."

He walked up to the ninja and took off his mask, revealing a young looking japanese man. Who stared at the head gangster with pain and disgust.

"You?" The head started "This is the one who has been killing my men and giving me a hard time?" He noticed a necklace the ninja was wearing. It was a shuriken with a familiar symbol. "Oh I see." The head said in an amused tone. And then chuckled.

The Head gangster turned to his remaining goon and asked: "Do you know who he is? He's a Katsuo. The Tetsuo family and his family have been at war since feudal times. Back in feudal Japan, our Samurai clan burned down his ninja families village. Its ironic because Katsuo can be translated to Victorious."

Martin heard this and it all made sense. Why this ninja was attacking these gangsters. And right now the ninja is in big trouble. Martin looked around for anything he could use to help, and he saw a big wrench.

"He's probably the last of his kind." The goon said, still aiming his gun at the ninja. The ninja looked away in shame. And the Head gangster noticed.

"You are the last Katsuo?" The Head gangster asked, unholstering his revolver. "Well then, I might as well finish what my ancestors started." He aimed the gun at The ninja and pulled back the hammer. But immediately he heard a clang. He looked to his right and saw his goon on the floor. His head bleeding and a young boy standing over him with a huge wrench.

Chapter 7.

Clang. Martin hit the goon in the back of the head with a big wrench. The head Tetsuo turned his attention toward Martin. The ninja saw his chance and disarmed the head Tetsuo. He then followed through with a kick. The head Tetsuo fell back and saw the ninja walking toward him with the revolver pointed at him.

Soon a police siren was wailing a small distance away, it was getting closer and closer. Martin heard this and tried to get the ninja out.

"Yo, ninja dude we gotta go!" Martin said, but the ninja was still pointing the gun at Tetsuo.

"Not before he pays for the blood of my family." The ninja responded.

"I understand dude, but you don't have time for that now. The cops are coming."

Martin tugged at the ninja's arm but he kept his aim. The hatred in his eyes. Martin kept tugging as the sirens got louder and louder.

"Ninja, I understand that you want to do this. If you pull that trigger, the police will notice and then we will have absolutely no chance to leave. Live to fight another day."

The ninja dropped his aim, and unloaded the gun.

"You're lucky Tetsuo." The ninja said, then he threw the gun away, and looked for his escape. Martin followed.

The police barged in and found the dead goons, and Testsuo and his remaining man. They searched the whole area for anybody else, but Martin and the ninja were long gone.

Chapter 8

Martin and the ninja waited until they were a good distance away from the scene, then they took a break. They were on a rooftop leaning against a chimney.

"You... really saved my life back there." The ninja said.

"Well, I couldn't just let those guys kill you." Martin replied.

The ninja looked at Martin. A short, slightly built kid who dressed like a hipster. Who is able to climb buildings efficiently, and isn't afraid to hurt someone.

"How would you like to follow me whenever I do missions." The ninja asked.

"Don't I already do that?" Martin chuckled.

"Well, this time I can show you the ropes."

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" Martin asked.

"Fine, I didn't want to ask this because it sounded corny but; how would you like to be a ninja?"

Martin thought about it and smiled.

"I have nothing better to do."

The two grabbed each other's forearm and shook.

"By the way, I never got you're name." The ninja said.

"It's Martin, Rosado. You."

"Kage Katsuo."

Chapter 9

Early the next morning, Martin snuck out of the orphanage, and followed Kage to his "dojo." Well really it was just a run down apartment, but it was cool for Martin to see a spot where Kage hung his sword.

"Alright, first we must focus on training you." Kage said.

"Where do you go to train?" Martin asked. "This place isn't exactly roomy."

"Oh I train in a gym near here. Its called Worth's Gym."

"The one with the crippled Scottish dude?" Martin asked "I've been there before."

"Then let's go. You're training begins now" Kage said in a fake Japanese accent.

Kage drove Martin to Worth's gym. When they got inside, the first thing Martin noticed was how empty it was. He wondered how Mr. Worthington even payed his bills. Kage walked up to the closest heavy bag and held on to it.

"First, lemme see what you got." Kage said Martin walked up to the bag and gave it a few punches.

"Any time now." Kage joked and Martin tried punching harder. Martin noticed somoene limping toward them.

"Top of tha' mornin' to ya' Mistuh Katsuo." The man said, and Kage walked up to him and bowed.

"Good morning Mr. Worthington" Kage said in a reverent tone.

"Who'd ya bring tuhday?" The man asked as he looked at Martin. "Is this yah li'ole


"Something like that." Kage responded.

"Well ya' know yah have tuh pay his membuhship fee."

"Don't worry Mr. Worthington, I promise I'll have it by next week." Kage said.

"Alroight. Well, you two have soom fun."

The man left them alone and they continued their training.

Chapter 10

After a few months of combat training, Martin was ready, in Kage's, eyes to go out and attack the Tetsuo Yakuza family with him. He just had one more test he needed to pass.

"Martin, I got you a present." Kage said, pretending to be enthusiastic.

"Really? What is it." Martin asked.

"I went to an animal shelter and got you this puppy." Kage handed him a black labrador puppy that jumped and licked Martin in the face.

"Wow, it's adorable." Martin said cheerfully. "I always wanted a puppy."

"Alright, stay with it a few days. Kage said. "Teach it a few tricks and name him, we are going to need him soon."

"Okay." Martin said as he was playing with the puppy. He didn't know what two ninjas would need with a puppy, but he didn't question Kage. He just continued to play with it.

Kage waited a few days before calling for Martin to bring the puppy. Martin came in and was petting the puppy which seemed to be asleep.

"So," Kage started "Did you name the puppy, or teach it a few tricks."

"I named it Kage." Martin said as he was stroking the puppy's fur. "It seemed appropriate because you told me kage means shadow. I also taught him how to sit."

"Good." Kage said as he grabbed a sword from the wall. "Now comes the final part of your training."

"What do you mean?" Martin asked, confused.

"Take this sword, and kill the puppy." Kage handed him the sword.

"Kage I can't do that." Martin said, terrified at the command.

"Martin," Kage said in a firm tone. "If you want to be a ninja, you must learn to kill. Take the sword, and CUT THAT PUPPY'S HEAD OFF."

Martin took a deep breath and pressed the sword on the puppy's neck. He felt it squirm and heard it whimper. But Martin knew he had to do this if he wanted to be a ninja. He closed his eyes, and sliced. Not before Kage snatched the puppy off Martins hands and held it securely in his arms.

"Kage what is your problem?" Martin yelled. "I was going to do it."

"I know you were, therefore you passed the test." Kage said as he stroked the puppy.

"But," Martin swallowed. "I thought I had to learn to kill."

"I wasn't going to let you hurt this adorable puppy. Killing dirtbags is way easier than killing a puppy." Kage replied, and then he held the puppy up and wiggled his nose against the puppy's. Then he started making baby voices.

"Who's a cute puppy? You are!"

Martin just sighed a sigh of relief than rolled his eyes. "So does that mean I get to go on misions with you?"

"Yes It does. There's only one problem. My ninja suit is something that's been around for centuries. I only have one so I had to improvise for you."

Kage tossed some clothes at Martin. It was a black hoodie, black sweatpants, a black bandana, black fingerless gloves, and black Nike's. All sewn together to make one suit.

"I know, you probably think its crap but-"

"No, its awesome" Martin said. "Its really neat. It gives off an 'Urban ninja' vibe."

"You really like it?" Kage asked doubtfully.

"It's perfect Kage, Thank you." Martin ran up to him an have him a hug.

Martin's never had a person who felt like family. His dad was dead, his mother dug herself in a pit of drugs and never dug herself out for Martin, and he was an only child. Kage felt like the big brother he never had.

Kage was at first thrown off by the hug, but then thought to himself: My whole family was killed off, one by one. All because of the Tetsuo. Finally someone, who even though wasn't a blood relative, felt like family. Kage soon found himself hugging Martin back.

"Hey, kid. Put on that suit. We got us some Tetsuo to carve.

Chapter 11

Martin followed Kage to an open street where some scantily dressed women motioning for cars to pull over.

"Every day the Tetsuo family makes thousands of dollars in human trafficking." Kage said. "It is disgraceful. I lost my sister when I was your age, to a 'client' that went a little too rough."

Martin looked down in sympathy. But knew if they wanted to get this job done, they had to put all the sentimental stuff aside.

"Come on," Martin started "let's hit'em where it hurts.

They both jumped down from their ledge, and landed in front of two pimps. Martin stabbed one in the neck, and Kage sliced the other in the face, this turned the pimp around so Kage stabbed him in the back. Two other pimps reached into there pants to get their pistols, but Martin and Kage simultaneously threw their shurikens at the pimp's necks. Soon all the potential "clients" sped away. The two ninja's were left with the harlots.

"Go home." Martin commanded, disguising his voice. "You guys are free."

Some ran out of their, happy for their freedom. Other's just rolled their eyes and gave the ninja's a disgusting look.

It was a flawless mission any how,and Martin felt he was going to have more.

Chapter 11

Its been a year since Martin had become a ninja. He has been crashing at Kage's place for some time now. One night in particular, Martin heard a strange noise and woke up in the middle of the night.

"Kage?" Martin said as he looked around the apartment for his friend. When he got to the fridge, he noticed a note hanging on a sushi magnet.

It said: Dear Martin, I found Tetsuo. I am going over there so I can have my revenge. I didn't wake you because this is my journey and I didn't want you to get hurt in case this is too much for me. If anything should happen to me, know that I love you like a man loves his brother. You have great skill, and I hope you use it for the right purpose... if nothing happens to me, don't forget to feed Kage and I'll see you in a little. Then Kage signed his name in Japanese.

Martin wasted no time. He grabbed his ninja suit, and set out to look for Kage.

Martin looked everywhere Kage took him to do missions. The abandoned wearhouses where the Tetsuo sold guns, all the alleys he knew, the corners where they sold drugs. Finally he checked the abandoned factory where they found Tetsuo the first time. There were some goons guarding the entrance. Martin grabbed some dirt from the ground and rushed at the two guards. They aimed there guns at Martin, but they weren't fast enough. Martin threw the dirt on their eyes and cut them down rather quickly. He then climbed his way up a window.

"How much longer do we have to wait here?" Martin heard one of them ask. "Its been four hours."

"Tetsuo said, wait until he completely bleeds out. He wants that stupid ninja to suffer."

Martin heard this and felt a huge rage come over him. He immediately jumped off his ledge and landed his ninjato right through one of the goon's head. The other one was too startled to react, so he received a shuriken to the neck.

Martin rushed to find Kage before he bled out. Martin opened a door and two bullets whizzed past him. Martin stood behind the wall and heard the shooter still trying to hit him. Martin heard the bullets splintering the wall, and he knew he had to make a move quick.

"Martin." A hoarse voice called out. "He's on you're left." It was Kage. He was losing strength and didn't have much time left.

"Shut up." A harsh voice said.

Martin had to move fast. Martin took a peek at the gunman. He was to the left. He had a perfect view of the entrance. Martin had no hope of getting in before getting shot. Martin's only chance was to try to ricochet a shuriken at him. Martin took another peek at the gunman. The gunman took some very close shots at Martin, but Martin got all he needed. Martin aimed at the opposite wall and threw his shuriken. It bounced off the first wal, and landed with a ping. Not the sound of a blade stabbing flesh.

"Ha, you missed." Martin heard the gunman gloat. But then he heard a pshhhh followed by the gunman screaming. Martin looked andsaw that the shuriken hit a pipe behind the gunman, and hot steam was burning his back.

Martin saw his chance, and attacked with a fury of slices, until the guy was just a mess of red bloody gashes. Martin then ran to Kage.

"Kage!" Martin was about to grab him, but he noticed the gaping hole in Kage's stomach, and the pile of blood of Kage's blood,on the floor. Kage looked really pale as well and was shivering.

"Martin." Kage shivered "come here, I need to tell you something."

"No Kage." Martin said in denial. "I am going to get you out of here. And you are gonna be ok."

"Martin listen to me." Kage demanded. "I'm not walking away from this. I am going to die."

"No I'm-"

"It's ok Martin. I'm going to see my family now. I am going where all the Katsuo's are."

Now Martin was crying. He didn't want to accept that his big brother was dying.

"Before I go," Kage swallowed hard. "I want you t have my necklace." Martin reached and grabbed his shuriken neclace with the Katsuo family markings. "Its been in my family for generations. I have no son or blood or relative, so I'm giving it to you. I may be the last Katsuo by blood, but you are a Katsuo at heart. Be strong young Katsuo.

Those were his last words, and then he breathed his last. He died in Martin's arms.


Commissioner Steven blair was at the crime scene. There was a Japanese man found dead, in an abandoned factory. Along with several Yakuza gangsters. Blair just shook his head and told his men to clean the place up. He walked outside and made a call on his cellphone.

"I found some of your men dead in a factory, along with your torture victim."

"What are you going to do about it?" Tetsuo asked.

"Well for an extra grand a week, I can make sure your dead guys were never there, but I will still rule the death of the japanese man as 'suspiscious'. For half a grand more, I will rule it as suicide."

"You dirty bastard." Tetsuo replied. "I'll do it, but that's the last time."

"Pleasure doing buisness with you." Blair said "But before this gets to the media, you should leave the country for a bit." Then he hung up.

Martin was in the shadows hiding when he heard this.

"So Tetsuo is leaving the country?" Martin thought. "I just need to know the where and the when." And then he climbed his way out of there.

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#2  Edited By cbishop
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@mikesterman: Of course. Typos, misspellings, missing words, etc.

You tell a decent story, but you rush to the end. There's nothing wrong with jumping gaps of time, but you do it in a way that's...it seems like you jump the parts that bore you, so you can get to the next action scene. That can be okay, but sometimes you need the story between the action.

For instance, the familial feelings between Katsuo and Martin. It's completely believable that they might develop brotherly feelings for each other, but you skipped all the buildup for it. So rather than building it up with the reader, so that they really felt empathy with Martin's pain when Katsuo dies, it just jumped to, "Oh, I need this now, so I'm going to paste this brotherly love onto the characters right here, annnnd okay, you can keep reading now." So when Katsuo died, rather than feeling that pain, it also came off as, "Okay, I need Katsuo to die now, so in three, two, one, annnd dead. Alright, time jump to Martin tracking the killer."

I think you could be one of the best writers on the forum, but right now, you're not. You're sloppy, and willfully so. You less write a story than you write highlights that suggest a story. It's frustrating to read something that's just okay, and see that it could be better, if the writer would just apply himself. ...Well, it is to me anyway, because I like to see people write at their best. You're not doing that at the moment. I think part of it is that you're young and your writing needs to grow, and that part of it is that you're lazy with it. Maybe this is just something you kill time with- I don't know- but I think you could do more than kill time with it. You should work on it more.

That's it. End of the old guy lecture. ;)

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#5  Edited By mikesterman


its not a lecture. lol youre right. all my characters are in a shared universe so in order to get to crossovers and the huge superhero team up, i have to get past the other little characters that need to be established. so thats why i rush [not saying you need to accept that] i will try to fix that,

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