JSA: Drunk Dialing #1

New York City - The Gold Bar:

To many, Benny Fitz was known as Starfist- the owner of the Gold Bar- and Starfist had a unique way of dealing with barflies that didn't pay their tab. Today was Chris King's day to experience that personally. At the front door of the bar, a glowing yellow hand at the end of a slender tendril held Chris off the ground by the back of his shirt. Another tendril came out the door, formed a glowing yellow boot, and kicked him in the butt, sending him sprawling over the sidewalk, and into the street's gutter. The tendrils coalesced into the face of Starfist, and he shouted, "You drink more than you serve, ya bum! You're fired!" The face popped out of view, and the energy dissipated.

Chris rolled painfully to his back as Starlight and Starbright stepped out onto the sidewalk. They were a pair of alien women that were summoned by Starfinger's ring- also now in the possession of Benny Fitz. Benny had made them the bar's bouncers.

Standing over him, Starlight said, "Your last paycheck will be put towards your tab."

"Aw, c'mon," moaned King.

"And don't come back," snarled Starbright, firing a black concussive force blast at the pavement between his knees.

"Hey, now!" shouted Chris. "That's not necess--" He was cut off by a glare from Starbright. "Alright, alright, I'm going," he said weakly, as he used a lightpole to pull himself to his feet.

Starlight started, "Be glad he let you keep your--"

"--Hey!" Benny's glowing yellow face reappeared over the sidewalk. "Before I forget, get his watch! Benny Fitz's benefits, yeah?" The face chuckled with menace, winked at King, and then winked out again.

"Aw, crud!" said Chris as he took off running.

"Hey! Come back here!" shouted Starbright.

Chris reached for his watchface as he ran, and started dialing H-E-R, but was interrupted by one of Starbright's blasts clipping him as he rounded a corner into an alley. He fell to the ground as he transformed into a woman in a pink jogging suit, and then slipped into unconsciousness as he rolled into a pile of trash.

A few seconds later, Starlight and Starbright rounded the corner. "Where is he?" Starbright growled.

"Not here," said Starlight calmly. "Fast for a drunk guy. Dang!" she started. "He knocked this woman down as he ran?"

"What a jerk!" Starbright seethed.

"We should help her," said Starlight.

"Not our problem," Starbright said coldly. "Besides, the boss'd just put the moves on her."

Starlight shrugged. "You're probably right. Let's go."

The two women left the transformed Chris King lying in the alley. She laid there for just under an hour, and groaned as she awakened. Then she threw up from the stink of the trash she was laying in. The woman in the jogging suit reached up for the brick window ledge that was just above the trash pile, pulled herself up, and leaned heavily for a moment before looking at heself in the window. The reflection of the woman before him didn't just shock Chris King, it scared him. "Vicki?!" he gasped, and just then he reverted back to himself.

"Holy Hannah," he said, looking at his watch. "I've gotta get out of here." He ran up the alley, and kept running until he reached a bus stop. He boarded, and took the bus to Manhattan. Once there, he again began looking for bartending jobs.

Manhattan - Warriors:

All you had to do to know who Guy Gardner was, was turn on the TV. His arrogant, over-the-top attitude got him on the news and Heroes Tonight way more often than the Justice League liked. Currently, he sported some alien markings, and could transform himself into all kinds of weapons. Today, Warriors was entertaining the Justice Society- Green Lantern, Flash, Captain Marvel, Liberty Belle, and Stargirl who was apparently celebrating a birthday. Warrior himself was regaling them with stories that were probably only partially accurate. Chris was headed to the bar when Guy spotted him, and stopped his story to yell, "Hey, kid! Bar's closed for a private party! Come back tomorrow!"

Hopeful, Chris said, "I... I was actually looking for a j-job?"

Gardner guffawed. "Sorry again, champ! I only employ superheroes here!"

"I... um... I am a superhero."

Guy snorted. Starting over from the group, and them following, he said, "Yeah? I gotta hear this. Okay, kid, what's your name?"

"Chris K--"

"--Your hero name, man! What are you? New?"

"Give him a break, Guy," said Flash.

"Oh. Well, um, it... changes?"

Guy smirked knowingly. "I get that. I've been Green Lantern, just Guy Gardner," he said, looking at Flash, "and now I'm Warrior. Okay, so what's your power?"

Chris looked like he might be sick. "Um... it... it changes too," he kind of mumbled.

Gardner looked at him dubiously, "Oookay. I've had two power rings, and now it's Vuldarian DNA, if you can believe that."

"The current powers are a little hard to believe," Captain Marvel said quietly.

Stargirl giggled. Guy scowled at the Captain.

Then turning back to Chris, he said, "Hit me. What are your powers now?"

Chris was beginning to panic, and rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, it's hard to explain. I don't have any powers right now. I--"

"--Look, kid, nice try, okay? But you gotta have powers. Now, if you don't mind..." Guy put a hand on Chris' back, and started to steer him towards the door.

"No! No!" Chris protested. "You don't understand," he said, ducking Guy's hand and backing away a couple of steps. Holding up his wrist, he said, "I dial 'hero' on this magic watch, and I become a different superhero every time!"

"Oh, come on," said Guy.

"We've both used power rings," Green Lantern said to Guy.

Guy was exasperated. "But a magic watch? Does it call Superman when you need him, too?"

"No," said King, "but I've met him- he can vouch for me!" Then, reconsidering, he said, "Of course, I did dial 'horror' that time."

Guy's hand shot out and grabbed Chris' wrist. Reaching for the watch dial with his other hand, the clockface dissolved to reveal the letters H-E-R-O on a sort of rotary dial. "HA! Well, how 'bout that? He was tellin' the truth! I gotta tell ya kid, this is funny. So funny, in fact, you know what else you can dial on here?"

As Guy put his finger to the dial, Chris tried to pull free, "No!"

"H-O," Guy started.

"That's not a good--"

"H-O," Guy continued.

"--idea." Chris whined.

"H-O," Guy finished.

There was a bright flash of light, and Gardner was thrown backwards on his butt. Looking where Chris had been, he meekly said, "Santa?"

Looking himself over, and at the large bag in one hand, Chris said, "Ho! Ho! Hoooo! I've become Jolly Old Saint Nick!" Looking at Guy, he shook his finger and said, "You might have to go on the naughty list."

Guy went pale. "No!"

Reaching in his bag, Santa brought out a small, wrapped package, and handed it to Stargirl. "I believe that someone is having a birthday?"

Stargirl was giddy with excitement as she took the package. She unwrapped it hurriedly, took the top off the small box, and brought out a small cloissone pin of Santa's face. She put it on her shirt, and pulled a string that came out of his beard. His face lit up from inside, and a small voicebox said, "Ho! Ho! Ho! Haaaapyyy Birthdaaay!"

"Ha!" exclaimed Stargirl. "Never heard Santa say that before! I love it!" She gave Santa a quick hug, and a kiss on his cheek, which made him blush.

"Wait a minute," Green Lantern interrupted. Forming the face of a long haired girl with his ring, he said, "I've got a transmission coming in from Roxy. Go ahead."

"Hi, GL. We've got a trifecta at Times Square- The Mad Maple, Uncle Elvis, and Olavlord are wrecking everything."

"We're on the way," said Lantern, and Roxy's image dissipated. "Flash, Liberty Belle- you run ahead. We'll catch up."

Flash and Belle were gone in a whoosh of air. Captain Marvel looked at Stargirl, and asked, "Why do they always forget that I have the speed of Mercury?" and with a whoosh, he flew after the speedsters.

Stargirl looked at Green Lantern, and shrugged. "Guess that leaves us playing catch up."

"Can I help?" asked Santa.

Green Lantern was speechless, and chose to fly away rather than answer.

Stargirl said, "Oh, yes, yes, yes! I've got to see what happens here! Come on!" she said, and flew out of the bar.

Story and original characters copyright Chris Bishop 2020, 2021, 2022.

DC characters owned and copyrighted by DC, and are listed in the first comment box.

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The Origins Behind the Origins (or how some of these characters got their names):

That's all for now. Thanks for reading. -cb :^D