Horror/Hero: Slenderman hunts Gotham #1

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Slenderman stood, watching over Gotham, wondering why he had the strange feeling a nemesis of his had already been to Gotham. He watched, and observed the many people. He had worked in populated areas before, but never one so active. Normally, when the lights went out, the hunt began, but the dark did nothing to slow this city. In the distance, he saw a group of thugs beating down a young man, when he saw something he would never forget, competition.

He swooped down with such speed, the thugs didn't know what to do. He looked horrifying, a giant bat-like creature, posing as a gargoyle before sweeping the lesser predators off of his prey. Once he had finished containing the thugs for later consumption, and leaned tot he lesser prey, but then left. Puzzled, Slenderman moved to the thugs and young man, and claimed them for himself. He then left, in search of the gargoyle who had left it's prey to the competition.

"What do you mean dead!? I saved that man and tied up the thugs who were attacking him!" Batman yelled to Commissioner Gordon, who was holding a folder in his hands. "That's your problem, you tie them up, or you put them in an institution, that we both know that they will be out of in a week! I am required by law to do these things, but you're not an officer! Nobody knows your face, your name, and nobody will know if you make sure villains like the ones who most likely killed these guys won't do this again! You don't learn from your mistakes! You just prance around in your Halloween costume and sucker punch psychos into cages made of sticks! If you would finish the damn job, people would stop dying! Hell, half the reason people are dying is to provoke you! Without you, a hell of alot more people would be alive now!" Commissioner Gordon said, nor realizing he had shredded the file until afterwards.

Batman turned and looked at Gordon, before muttering a single word. "Batmobile." he said before jumping off of the building, and landing in his super car before blasting away. "...and where the hell does he get all that tech!?" Gordon said before storming off. As he was about to go back into the building he was ontop of, he saw a shadow behind him. It moved quick, so he assumed he was just seeing things. He continued to walk, but he saw it again. He turned around and put his hand on his weapon. "Batman, don't do this. Just because I said some things doesn't give you the right to harass an officer.

He saw the shadow again, closer this time, and drew his weapon. "Batman, you need to stop before you do something you'll regret. You can just leave now and ever- oh sh*t!" he said as the shadow passed so close to him that he could feel it. He fell backwards, and hit his head on the steel door to the building. He fealt the back of his head, and saw blood on his fingers. As he struggled to get up, he saw the shadow through his blurred vision. It was slower this time, walking towards him. He raised his weapon, but couldn't shoot. He couldn't move his trigger finger.

The shadow extended a long, black, tentacle like limb, and dug it into his chest. Pain shot through Gordon's body, but suddenly stopped. The shadow had torn open his shirt, and carved an X through the hole where he had been stabbed. The shadow then raised it's limb, and brought it down on his head.

Gordon woke up with ringing in his ears, and a plain white mask that covered all but his eyes. He wanted to find out where he was, but instead he walked, seemingly aimlessly through the forest. He couldn't tell what time it was, but it looked like it was about dawn. He saw a trail of blood in the dirt and leaves, and tried to turn back, but followed it. It lead him to the bodies of the thugs and young man who had been abducted from the city. They were cut open, impaled on trees. Their organs had been rearranged in their bodies, and were being hacked apart by a large figure. He smelled of death, and wore tattered, bloodstained clothes, that revealed rotting skin underneath. The figure turned away from the bodies, machete in hand, and stared at Gordon through his hockey mask, with his cold, sunken eyes.

hoped you liked it, and any constructive critisism (that's NOT on my spelling) is, well, constructive! @tommythehitman@batkevin74@wildvine@pyrogram@yourneighborhoodcomicgeek

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Awesome job man!

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#3  Edited By gumflabica

@tommythehitman: thanks! and have you made it to the library yet? those fifteen awesome points could be yours...

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#6  Edited By TommytheHitman
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@tommythehitman: ........?! ......!? .........!!!!! *crashing noises* .......!!!!!! .......... *heavy breathing*........!.....?.....!?!?!?!? .........!!!!!!!!!! *stabbing noises*.............................................................................

it's amazing how we communicate, isn't it?

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#10  Edited By gumflabica

bump maybe? *under breath* or maybe some of the people I PMed could show up..... I've seen them online since I PMed them....... what, just got no time for gumflabica no more? sheesh...... gah, who am i kidding..... i'm not worth their time anyway.......

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#11  Edited By batkevin74

@gumflabica: Just had a brain wave on whatI can mash up so i thought I'd try and find (and comment) on these ones

Firstly, I have no idea who Slenderman is. He initially sounds like a crap superhero! So a bit of description on who/what he is would make this, well easier for those uninformed to jump on board.

Slenderman moved to the thugs and young man, and claimed them for himself. He then left, in search of the gargoyle who had left it's prey to the competition. ?? My guess is he ate them...maybe. A bit of horror or even gore would work here, set the tone on what Slenderman does to people.

"What do you mean dead!? I saved that man and tied up the thugs who were attacking him!" Batman yelled to Commissioner Gordon. Too long. Batman would've just said, in almost a Clint Eastwood type snarl "What do you mean dead?" and that's it. Gordon then would do the exposition. Batman yells at the Joker, when there's a bomb but not at Gordon. Growled, seethed, grunted or even just saild coldly.

Batman turned and looked at Gordon, before muttering a single word. "Batmobile." he said before jumping off of the building, and landing in his super car before blasting away. I liked this but traditionally Batman does the sneaky ninja exit.

He saw the shadow again, closer this time, and drew his weapon. "Batman, you need to stop before you do something you'll regret. You can just leave now and ever- oh sh*t!" he said as the shadow passed so close to him that he could feel it. He fell backwards, and hit his head on the steel door to the building. He fealt the back of his head, and saw blood on his fingers. As he struggled to get up, he saw the shadow through his blurred vision. It was slower this time, walking towards him. He raised his weapon, but couldn't shoot. He couldn't move his trigger finger. Okay I have no idea who is speaking, what's going on, whose hurt or anything!? Plus felt as in touch, for some reason you put an A in yours

The figure turned away from the bodies, machete in hand, and stared at Gordon through his hockey mask, with his cold, sunken eyes. And now Jason Voorhees?

Sorry it's taken over a year to get onto this, my apologies.

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#12  Edited By gumflabica

@batkevin74: Holy crap XD I had forgotten this even existed.

It's weird how even though it's not that old, I can laugh at how horrible at writing I was.

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#13  Edited By batkevin74

@gumflabica: It's not horrible, it just needs an edit is all. Did you get around to a part 2?

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This is pretty good. Is this still a thing?

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@gumflabica: I thought I had read a bunch of Slenderman stuff somewhere along the way. I know I did a bunch of research on it when I saw Slenderman in the forum before...maybe I got lost on that and forgot to read the stories. At any rate, I've read this now. I was a little lost on what he did to Gordon, but I figure that would have been cleared up in the next chapter? Added to my FF Long Box - Authors. :)

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@cbishop: @johnny_blaze: @batkevin74: I don't think I made a second one.

And it's not horrible... Pretty good considering I was 12 at the time, but I really do think I could do much better now.

I'm just strapped for time is all. I wear my brain out at school, the only writing I get in is during Comp class, which I am excellent at, by the way. Maybe I could dig up some of my old assignments and post them.

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#18  Edited By gumflabica

@batkevin74: 14. Relevant? Maybe. I've passed as an adult for the entire time I've been here by simply not stating my age.

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batkevin74

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@gumflabica: Age to ability ratio: you're doing amazing! Hell if I wrote as well as you did when I was 12. Keep up the good work, you'lldo well I think

Now write part 2 :)

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@batkevin74: I kinda forgot where I was going with it XD

If and when I get the time