Gotham City 21: Chapter #1~Agent Venom

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SpideyIvyDaredevilFan26

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It had only been a week since the collision, but everything had changed. A cataclysmic merger had fused the "Marvel" and "DC" universes together, in an explosion that cost the lives of millions and put meta-humans who had never been aware of each others existence into contact. Four of some of the most notorious minds of these universes, led by the nefarious Scarecrow, took advantage of the terrified and confused public. Alexander Luthor and Victor Von Doom rallied mankind behind their regime with promises of a bright and prosperous future. Wilson Fisk and Scarecrow did their part to recruit villains to support the regime and exterminate all opposed to the new order. Crossbones, Larfleeze, Doomsday, Blackheart, Typhoid Mary, Killer Croc, Carnage, Sabretooth, Emma Frost, Brother Blood, Metallo and Parasite made quick work enforcing the regime's "Compliance Act" All meta-humans or vigilantes who refused to align with the regime were slaughtered. Pregnant women, babies, children...Behind the guise of this "new utopia" was an underbelly of cruelty, horror and oppression...But some meta-humans, heroes, anti-heroes and reformed villains, fight to end the villainy of the Regime. This is the story of 21 men and women who will team up to fight for the future, grim as it is. These are the origins of the Gotham City 21.

Flash Thompson crept stealthily into the armory, silenced handguns in both hands. Ironic. Just as it seemed that he had earned the trust of the government, the regime has reared it's ugly head. It would have been easy for him to go along with the madness, but he refused to associate with the monsters of the Regime. As two guards slipped past the hallway, Flash took a deep breathe. They paused, sensing movement. The Regime guards turned to Flash, poised to fire. Quickly, he pulled out two Uzi's (His only weapons on hand), silencer's attached, firing a few rounds into the guards kneecaps, before shooting of his tendrils to the ceiling to gain speed. Within seconds, the alarm had sounded off. Flash had to get out of here...Now. He slid across the hall, the black ooze of the symbiote staining the ground. The armory. Perfect. As he flicked the lights on, a gasp was heard. A young man wearing a red helmet and a leather jacket turned around, pointing two sidearms at Thomspon. This was Jason Todd, the only surviving member of the Bat Family.

"Calm down man! We're here for the same purpose!" Flash shouted, raising his hands. Jason pulled the saftey of the sidearm back. "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blast your creepy ass..." Flash turned around to hear the footsteps a group of guards closing in. "Let's just say you'll regret it if you don't..." Jason nodded, tossing Flash a Sten Machine Gun before running out, grabbing the Symbiotic host by the neck. Running as fast as they could, they stopped as they realized there was no way out. Jason pumped a shotgun he had stolen from the armory. "How good are you with a Sten?" Flash turned to Jason. "Every hear of Annie Oakley?" Jason nodded, smiling under his helmet. The guards pointed their weapons at the two heroes, flicking off their safteys.

"Tell you what...Let us go, and we'll remember the favor."

"No deal. Submit and you'll get a quick public execution."

"As you wish."

The hallway became littered with smoke and the flash of gunfire, the noise deafening in it's crackles and bursts. Jason pumped his shotgun again and again as if he was some kind of machine. Flash quickly fired of countless short bursts. The attackers began to fall back in two's, the less dedicated ones began to back away. Jason and Flash looked at each other, and then back at the terrified guards. They were both thinking the same thing.

"Boo."

The guards took off, leaving their weapons behind them, as Jason and Flash jumped out the window to the ground below. As Flash looked up, he saw the a figure before him. Trenchcoat, fedora and the freakiest mask imaginable. In it's center, a black ink-blot like substance writhed and moved.

"Hrrrmm...Like the new friend Jason. Not exactly what I was hoping for...But it's a start. Name?"

"Call me Agent Venom."

"This is Rorschach, we teamed up a few days ago. We're trying to find some more allies to help out, so finding you was a godsend."

Flash backed up in shock. "Wait...You mean there could be other heroes out there...Ones who survived the Regime?" Immediately, his first thought was Parker. The news hadn't confirmed his deaths like many others. Rorschach walked away, looking at the sky.

"As long as there is evil, there is good. These are dark times Thompson. We're probably not going to win this war. But we'll put up a damn good fight that's for sure. Yes...There are other heroes. We just have to find them."

Jason and Flash looked at one another. "Does he always do that?" asked Flash. Jason shrugged. "Sill haven't gotten used to it...Not as annoying or strict as Bruce though." Flash gave Jason a second look of confusion. Jason shook his head, "Never mind, there's a hidden pit near one of the city's alleys where me and Rorschach have taken base. Come on."

Flash nodded, following Rorschach and Jason quickly to avoid detection. They made it deep into an alley where Jason knelt before what appeared to be a wall of graffiti. Tracing the outline of the artwork with his finger, the wall burst out, opening like a door. Flash whistled, "Not bad..."

The room had a Gothic meets tech mix to it. If Flash had been a part of the DC Universe, he'd compare it to a poor man's Batcave. Jason spread out his arms to introduce his new ally to the gang. "This is it...The Inkblot. We have contacts, maps, and we're trying to get a meta-human detector in here somewhere. Know anybody who we could contact?" Flash shrugged, "A few people. But I need some backup. Hell, I'm not even sure if they're still alive. First, we should try and find Cap. He and Inky could make for some nice leadership, and hell knows we'll need it. Then we'll try and find Parker..."

"Parker?"

"Spider-Man. I'll bet my last cartridge that he's still alive. Probably trying to lay low. Whole responsibility thing probably went to his head, trying to keep his friends out of it."

Rorschach took of his mask to reveal his aged, ginger face. There was coldness and a harshness in his features. "Sorry Thompson. In case you didn't know, I don't play well with others..."

To be continued in Gotham City 21: Bane

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batkevin74

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@spideyivydaredevilfan26: It's okay, it is only chapter 1. Just when you start something you end the chapter. I get you're creating eagerness for part 2

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TommytheHitman

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I really enjoyed this! I'm looking forward to the next part! Also we need more Doomhound dude.

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SpideyIvyDaredevilFan26

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@spideyivydaredevilfan26: It's okay, it is only chapter 1. Just when you start something you end the chapter. I get you're creating eagerness for part 2

Alright...What could I do better with?

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batkevin74

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@spideyivydaredevilfan26: This is my opinion and you can take or leave any or all of what I'm saying, I am no expert and this is just fan-fic :)

Your opening preamble/prologue: Too long. So of the elements you've set up could be explored as the story progress, and also to have the world to to $h!+ in a week without any of the normal heroes doing anything about it, kinda strange

Flash/Venom is fine.

But just as you get to the team-up, end chapter? It's like you only had up to that point. Sometimes (and this is always hard to judge as both a writer ^& a reader) is where to end it! Do I do it before Joker caves his head in with the crowbar for the cliffhanger or go through with it? It's subjective relative and up to the writer.

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@spideyivydaredevilfan26: This is my opinion and you can take or leave any or all of what I'm saying, I am no expert and this is just fan-fic :)

Your opening preamble/prologue: Too long. So of the elements you've set up could be explored as the story progress, and also to have the world to to $h!+ in a week without any of the normal heroes doing anything about it, kinda strange

Flash/Venom is fine.

But just as you get to the team-up, end chapter? It's like you only had up to that point. Sometimes (and this is always hard to judge as both a writer ^& a reader) is where to end it! Do I do it before Joker caves his head in with the crowbar for the cliffhanger or go through with it? It's subjective relative and up to the writer.

Alright, I'll edit it.

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batkevin74

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dngn4774

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@spideyivydaredevilfan26: I generally don't care for universe crossovers but this is better than most of the ones that I've read. I like Thompson, but he'll never be Eddie. Still, this was an above average read. Good job!

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@dngn4774 said:

@spideyivydaredevilfan26: I generally don't care for universe crossovers but this is better than most of the ones that I've read. I like Thompson, but he'll never be Eddie. Still, this was an above average read. Good job!

Actually, Eddie is going to be the big side character in the next chapter, so you're in luck. ;)

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@spideyivydaredevilfan26

The set up is decent enough. I would just echo what Batkevin said. Remember to keep your characters in character with the situation. Example: Rorschach says he doesn't "play well with others" after its been established he hangs with Jason, and he had no issue with Flash tagging along. Another thing I noticed which you did with your Psycho series a lot. You forget to start a new paragraph when a new person is talking.

Wrong:

The room had a Gothic meets tech mix to it. If Flash had been a part of the DC Universe, he'd compare it to a poor man's Batcave. Jason spread out his arms to introduce his new ally to the gang. "This is it...The Inkblot. We have contacts, maps, and we're trying to get a meta-human detector in here somewhere. Know anybody who we could contact?" Flash shrugged, "A few people. But I need some backup. Hell, I'm not even sure if they're still alive. First, we should try and find Cap. He and Inky could make for some nice leadership, and hell knows we'll need it. Then we'll try and find Parker..."

Right:

The room had a Gothic meets tech mix to it. If Flash had been a part of the DC Universe, he'd compare it to a poor man's Batcave. Jason spread out his arms to introduce his new ally to the gang. "This is it...The Inkblot. We have contacts, maps, and we're trying to get a meta-human detector in here somewhere. Know anybody who we could contact?"

Flash shrugged,"A few people. But I need some backup. Hell, I'm not even sure if they're still alive. First, we should try and find Cap. He and Inky could make for some nice leadership, and hell knows we'll need it. Then we'll try and find Parker..."

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@wildvine said:

@spideyivydaredevilfan26

The set up is decent enough. I would just echo what Batkevin said. Remember to keep your characters in character with the situation. Example: Rorschach says he doesn't "play well with others" after its been established he hangs with Jason, and he had no issue with Flash tagging along. Another thing I noticed which you did with your Psycho series a lot. You forget to start a new paragraph when a new person is talking.

Wrong:

The room had a Gothic meets tech mix to it. If Flash had been a part of the DC Universe, he'd compare it to a poor man's Batcave. Jason spread out his arms to introduce his new ally to the gang. "This is it...The Inkblot. We have contacts, maps, and we're trying to get a meta-human detector in here somewhere. Know anybody who we could contact?" Flash shrugged, "A few people. But I need some backup. Hell, I'm not even sure if they're still alive. First, we should try and find Cap. He and Inky could make for some nice leadership, and hell knows we'll need it. Then we'll try and find Parker..."

Right:

The room had a Gothic meets tech mix to it. If Flash had been a part of the DC Universe, he'd compare it to a poor man's Batcave. Jason spread out his arms to introduce his new ally to the gang. "This is it...The Inkblot. We have contacts, maps, and we're trying to get a meta-human detector in here somewhere. Know anybody who we could contact?"

Flash shrugged,"A few people. But I need some backup. Hell, I'm not even sure if they're still alive. First, we should try and find Cap. He and Inky could make for some nice leadership, and hell knows we'll need it. Then we'll try and find Parker..."

By "Play well with others" I meant in a leadership scenario. That was kinda hard to make clear though.

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SpideyIvyDaredevilFan26

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Bystander

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Not bad. Apart a few mismatches, I've enjoyed it. Hope you'l make more of this.

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SpideyIvyDaredevilFan26

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Not bad. Apart a few mismatches, I've enjoyed it. Hope you'l make more of this.

Gotham City 21: Bane is coming VERY soon! :)

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@cyberwarrior said:

Not bad. Apart a few mismatches, I've enjoyed it. Hope you'l make more of this.

Gotham City 21: Bane is coming VERY soon! :)

VERY glad to hear that :)

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Decent start, but never have more than one person speaking in the same paragraph. New speaker, new paragraph. My only quibble with the story is the beginning. Flash was holding two silenced handguns, but two sentences later, he grabbed two silenced uzis, the "only weapons he had on hand." That needs fixing. I'll read chapter 2 soon. This one is going in my FF Long Box. :)