GET OUTTA THE SWAMP
Location: Central Florida
Time: Present day
“Who wants a PB&J?” My dad asked as he took a seat on a fallen tree and started rummaging through his backpack.
“Me, me!” Lizzie shouted enthusiastically.
“You got it!” My dad shouted, equally enthusiastically, as he tossed her a sandwich wrapped in foil.
I should probably explain what we were doing. My dad and I were on our annual spring break canoe trek through Ocala National Forest, Florida. It was normally a lot of fun for both of us. Except this year, my stepsister, Lizzie, was tagging along. My dad and I would usually just lived off beef jerky and basically nothing else on those trips, but now that a picky eater was coming along, we had to stop for a real lunch. So, even though we were burning daylight, we found a small island on the lake, and stopped to eat freaking pb&j’s together.
Lizzie and I just never saw eye to eye, as much as she wanted us to. I was always a tomboy, I never went through a princess phase even when I was her age. All she ever wanted to talk about was Disney princess movies, Barbies, and other kid shit I barely even cared about when I was her age, and certainly didn’t give a shit about now that I was seventeen.
After eating, Lizzie went to find a tree to use the bathroom, and my dad started talking to me.
“Rebecca, I must say, I’m disappointed in you.” He said. “I know you and Lizzie don’t share a lot of interests, but she’s still your little sister, and whether you want her to or not, she looks up to you.”
“Dad, believe me, I’m trying.” I said. “But there’s only so long I can talk about Frozen with an eleven-year-old before I wanna freaking kill myself. Why again did you even take her on this trip?”
“Because I thought it would be a good chance for you two to bond.” He said. “I’m sorry that I was wrong, I truly am.”
A few moments later, he said “Hey, did you see that?”
“Dad, I’m not a kid, I’m not gonna fall for…”
And then, moments later, a massive alligator (must have been 10 feet or so) came charging out of the water and grabbed my dad by the arm. The gator then dragged him into the water.
My dad was screaming and fighting the whole way, but there was nothing he could do against such a massive beast. Lizzie started running back, but I dashed to grab her, buried her face in my shirt so she couldn’t see the carnage, and took her to hide behind a tree.
“Where's Daddy?” she asked.
“Lizzie, he’s gone.” I said. I then pulled out my phone, desperate to call 911. But no signal; I figured I wouldn’t get any service this far out, but I still had to check.
“Wait here.” I said as I carefully went back to the shoreline.
I grabbed a canoe, and pulled it to the other side of the island. I hoped the gator was gone, but still wanted to be prepared. It took me a longtime to pull it around to the other side of the island, but it was well worth it.
“Get on.” I said. “We need to get outta the swamp.”
_______
I started carefully paddling away. The whole time, I was staying vigilant for any signs that the alligator might still be there.
For a moment, I thought we were in the clear. I thought the gator had moved on, that Lizzie and I would make it back to the campground, and that we could make it home and give the bad news to my mom and Lizzie’s mom.
Then, I felt the canoe shake.
“GET BACK!” I shouted to Lizzie.
The gator then jumped out of the water and tried to board our canoe. “SWIM BACK TO SHORE, NOW!” I ordered Lizzie before raising the oar and slamming it on the gator’s head.
It did almost nothing. The gator still came at me. I ended up having to jump out of the canoe and swim back to shore along with Lizzie. Only problem was that Lizzie wasn’t a great swimmer; I had to grab her and pull her to shore, only narrowly getting there before the gator finally got out of the canoe and back in the water.
Lizzie started crying, and I held her and said “It’s okay, it’s all gonna be okay. Please, just stop crying and let me think.”
_______
I started rummaging through dad’s backpack for any kind of weapon. This wasn’t a hunting trip, so I knew he wouldn’t have packed any of his rifles or shotguns. But I did find his revolver, and a camping knife.
“Bingo.” I said. “Lizzie, go hide in those trees.”
And then, I waited. I just stood at the shoreline. I constantly scanned the water for any sign of movement.
After just a few minutes, I got what I was looking for. It was brief, but I could see an eye looking at me from beneath the water. I quickly stepped backwards, narrowly evading the alligator’s charge.
I then shot at it. The thing about revolvers is that they work perfectly if you hit the first time. But if you don’t, good luck getting another shot.
That was the position I was in. I know my shot hit the torso, but it definitely missed the head. I pulled the hammer back to try to fire again, but the gator came at me again, and this time managed to clamp down on my leg.
It’s hard to even describe how intense the pain was. Seriously, it was as if my leg was being crushed by a truck, with razor blades on the tires. Then, it shook me so hard I dropped the gun.
I thought I was dead. But then, Lizzie comes running out of the woods with a big stick and shouts “GET OFF MY SISTER!” before beating it over the head.
Her strikes were, of course, doing nothing to hurt it. But they annoyed the gator enough to let go of me and focus on her. And when it did, I grabbed the gun off the ground and blew its brains out.
“Are you okay?” Lizzie asked.
“Lizzie, go into my bag and get me my spare shirt.” I said. The wound on my leg was pretty bad, I honestly wasn’t sure I was gonna make it.
We were out of options. We had nothing more than a basic first aid kit in our bags, and trying to treat my leg with it would be like trying to put out a house fire with a squirt gun. We still had a canoe, but neither eleven year old Lizzie or mortally injured me would stand any chance of successfully rowing back to camp.
I thought I was gonna die, I really did. But then, two park rangers showed up in a boat.
“We heard gunshots from this area.” One of them said over a megaphone. “Might I remind you ladies that hunting is only allowed here during hunting season?”
“Oh thank God!” I shouted. “I need help, now!”
“Shit.” One of them said once he steered the boat closer and noticed my leg. He also saw the alligator’s body, and immediately knew what had gone down. “Don’t worry, we can get you to a hospital.”
______
To this day, Lizzie and I still do an annual hike.
Just not in any swamps.
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