Rated T for Teen
TONY STARK, IRON MAN, BATMAN, THE JOKER, THE RIDDLER AND ALL CHARACTERS AND SETTINGS ARE THE PROPERTY OF MARVEL INC. AND OR DC COMICS AND THEIR RESPECTIVE AFFILIATES. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, I THOUGHT OF THE STORY BUT THESE AREN'T MY PEOPLE.
<Batman's lines are in italics. Tony Stark's are bolded>
"I didn't need your help. You've blown up half a city block."
"Get out of Gotham."
"Hell of a way to thank somebody. You know, I know who you are, Bruce. I have facial recognition software built into the suit."
"I know who you are. And I don't have facial recognition software. Stark.
The Batman reaches behind his cape. Gracefully, instantly, he's spun around and fired a shot off. Stark nearly laughs as The Batman swings away, held only by a rope with a hook on the end of it. Gotham is a labyrinth of buildings, alleyways, bridges and roads. The Batman seems to know every square inch of the city. He twists and turns, throwing ropes and grappling hooks every which way.
"For gods sake, he's practically Spider-Man."
The chase goes on for some time.
"He can't lose me. I'm Iron man." Stark is focused, and full of energy, full of excitement. Another billionaire who fights crime! But this one, Bruce Wayne, he puts on a leather bat suit and beats criminals with his fists. With his knees and his elbows and his fists. Fascinating.
"Hey!! You aren't going to get away form me you know. I can follow you anywhere you go. Suit's got Sonar, X-Ray and infra-red tracking systems - state of the art stuff right here."
"You and I have nothing in common. Get out of Gotham.”
Iron man, full of arrogance, switches his jet engine boots off. The chase is over. Batman, leaping into a black vehicle, has reached his destination - and is out of patience.Iron Man drops beside him, into the passenger seat of The Batman's car. Stark is cocky, and confident, and he wants to talk.
“Oh, we've gotplentyin common, Wayne. We're both billionaires who fight crime. I mean, we have to be the only billionares who actually do that.The only real difference between you and me, is that you like to let yourself get abused in aKevlaroutfit, while I've built an amazing suit that I fly around in, to stomp the bad guys with.Wayne, from one rich guy to another, what the hell are you thinking? Whydidn'tyou just build a suit? Its A LOT safer. ”
“We're going for a ride, Stark. When the ride is over, the conversation ends."
"Fine. So what's your problem? Why Kevlar? You've got the Wayne Enterprises! You could easily build yourself something a little better than a rubber suit with pointy bunny ears on it"
"Ididn'teven have the Cevlar at first. ”
Stark, stunned, sits in silence
"I put on a black ski mask and I found some criminals. The mask, the Kevlar, it all came later.
"So you were anxious to get started."
“Christ!! Anxious to start creeping around at night, fighting human nightmares like the Joker? This is what you were dying to leave the playboy life of Bruce Wayne for? I don't want to know...I don't want to know the rest. Just let me build you a suit. You deal with crazy psychopaths in costumes every day, I've read the news. You fought a guy in a top hat last week who thought he was in wonderland. And then there's the abig crocodile man, and the guy with the question mark on his chest. I don't know how they manage to get bazookas, but, I'll sell you a suit or just make one for you, and -
"When you’re dealing with a sick person, you can’t just fire a rocket at your problem. I don’t need, or want, to plow through Gotham like a human tank – these people, they aren't evil. They arenotsober men beating their wives. They aren't sane men herding human beings into concentration camps.
" The Riddler” - the man in green who wares a question mark on his tie. He has a name. Its Edward. He’s just a man, and he needs help. He had a life once, a family. People he loved. There were...people in his life, his family, these people used to depend on him. They used to be able to depend on him. He had parents who wanted him to build a life, to be happy, to be normal. He lost everything he had, and now he humilates himself and the people who cares about him. He dresses in green with a question mark on his tie and leaves clues so the police can solve his crimes. These people, these murderers and psychopaths, in spite of it all… they are men. They are women. Human beings."
Get over yourself. Just because these guys put a costume on and went crazy, and you put a costume on and went crazy, that doesn't make you the same as them. Maybe you pity yourself, and maybe that’s why you care so much about thesemonsters. Fine. I'm not saying you should be out there killing people, but the Joker? An escape artist lunatic...the guy leaves a permanent smile scarred into corpse after corpse... I'll get some lighter armor, and, hell, I'll help you maneuver him into Texas. They’ll fry his ass.
The car stops. Stark hadn't noticed where they were going, enamored as he was in his conversation, he hadn't noticed that Wayne was driving him right out of the city.
" Get out."
“FINE. Call me at my office when you're done being such a glutton for punishment..."
Stark climbs out of the Batmobile. Before flying off, he turns to speak.
"Oh, and maybe if you had something to live for, like, a woman, lets say, you’d understand why the Joker should be executed. And build a suit for gods sake. I can’t imagine the scars you get running around in that little outfit”
"Don't come back"