DC Zombies Infectious Insanity Part Three

Avatar image for mrdecepticonleader
mrdecepticonleader

19714

Forum Posts

2501

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 3

Black Mask heaved the huge metallic door to a close.

As he did Crane looked around at their new surroundings.

Dingy walls made of bricks surrounded them at either turn. There was yet another door at the end of the room which was appeared to made of wood but also had metal plates grafted to its body.

Drip

Drip

Drip

Droplets of water descended through holes in the celling.

A tall wardrobe overshadowed a corner of the room,it looked so old it was hard to tell exactly what it was made out of.

A long basic bed filled up space in another place in the room.And there was a desk,on the desk was various implements, many covered in blood.

The table was accompanied by a swivel chair,which had ropes tied to it.The chairs arms where riddled with scratch marks.

"Sorry I didn't have enough time to clean up,most guests I have dont usually mind the mess" Sionis said.

Crane looked onwards toward the door.

Sionis went over to the wardrobe and pulled it open.It contained numerous hand held weapons and ammunition.He began to check his weaponry and tossed Crane a couple of clips as well.

He took some tape and strapped a torch on to his weapon and then threw one to Crane to do the same.

After re stocking up on supplies they left the safe room and made their way into the sewers.

Sorry this part is not that long,all been well upcoming parts should be lengthy or certainly longer.

Disclaimer all character belong to DC Comics

Tell me what you think

Avatar image for wildvine
wildvine

15336

Forum Posts

2609

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 3

User Lists: 50

#2  Edited By wildvine

Good entry. As you said, a tad short, but otherwise no complaints.

Avatar image for mrdecepticonleader
mrdecepticonleader

19714

Forum Posts

2501

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 3

@wildvine said:

Good entry. As you said, a tad short, but otherwise no complaints.

Thanks

Yeah I just wanted to get something out to continue it,I was going to write more but didn't feel the urge to do so.

Avatar image for lvenger
Lvenger

36475

Forum Posts

899

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 50

User Lists: 18

#4  Edited By Lvenger

A creepy chapter. Good work mate!

Avatar image for mrdecepticonleader
mrdecepticonleader

19714

Forum Posts

2501

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 3

@Lvenger said:

A creepy chapter. Good work mate!

Thanks

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16831

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#6  Edited By batkevin74

@mrdecepticonleader: Good but short

Avatar image for xxxddd
xxxddd

3861

Forum Posts

29703

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 14

#7  Edited By xxxddd

@mrdecepticonleader:

THE GOOD

It's good that you indent whenever new dialogue or action occurs, it allows for me flow through the story instead of feeling overwhelmed(I would feel this way if every story was just one large paragraph).

THE BAD

My only complaint is how you describe the water dropping. When I read it, it felt like dialogue, when it should feel like there is water right beside me dripping on the ground as loud as nails being dropped.

*Drip*Drip*Drip*. Each droplet of water hitting the ground has the booming sound of a thousand bombs going off."

-Do you agree or disagree with my complaint and why?

Avatar image for mrdecepticonleader
mrdecepticonleader

19714

Forum Posts

2501

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 3

@batkevin74 said:

@mrdecepticonleader: Good but short

Thanks,upcoming parts will be longer.

@xxxddd said:

@mrdecepticonleader:

THE GOOD

It's good that you indent whenever new dialogue or action occurs, it allows for me flow through the story instead of feeling overwhelmed(I would feel this way if every story was just one large paragraph).

THE BAD

My only complaint is how you describe the water dropping. When I read it, it felt like dialogue, when it should feel like there is water right beside me dripping on the ground as loud as nails being dropped.

*Drip*Drip*Drip*. Each droplet of water hitting the ground has the booming sound of a thousand bombs going off."

-Do you agree or disagree with my complaint and why?

Thanks

Disagree,its just the way I wrote it in.

Avatar image for xxxddd
xxxddd

3861

Forum Posts

29703

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 14

#9  Edited By xxxddd

@mrdecepticonleader:Keep writing stories.

It's good content, but lacks length.

Avatar image for mrdecepticonleader
mrdecepticonleader

19714

Forum Posts

2501

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 3

Avatar image for lykopis
lykopis

10845

Forum Posts

40100

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#11  Edited By lykopis

Good to see you continue --- and I agree about getting what you have out there, no sense in hanging on to it. A good addition overall. :)

Avatar image for mrdecepticonleader
mrdecepticonleader

19714

Forum Posts

2501

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 3

@lykopis said:

Good to see you continue --- and I agree about getting what you have out there, no sense in hanging on to it. A good addition overall. :)

Thanks,true.

The more I write the more I want to continue it.